


Regaining Her Life

by myqueenofall



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Assault, Child Abuse, Drug Use, Drugs, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Multi, Rape, Self-Harm, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-01
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-03-26 13:41:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 43
Words: 83,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3852853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myqueenofall/pseuds/myqueenofall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Au. Post season 1. Henry drives Regina away claiming she is not his mother. So she goes on the search for a new beginning. More notes inside. Warnings: abuse, drugs, self harm, rape, consentual sex. Please read and review</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my view at how season 2 should have gone down.
> 
> So in my fic Regina got her magic back right when the curse broke so she defended herself. Maleficent is still alive. Regina never locked Belle up and Rumple only cares about Bae. Everybody can cross the town line and don't lose their memories.
> 
> English is not my mother language so forgive me for myistakes.
> 
> Please leave your coments so I can know what you guys think and if I should continue.
> 
> Don't own ouat!

****

He was sitting in a bench on the park. He was all alone in that bench. Her Henry. Her little prince. It has been almost three months since the curse broke and he had not spoken a word with her since. On that day awful day Miss Swan went on her house and packed his clothes. The woman didn't even give her an explanation. She just barged in like she owned the word and took everything of his that she could reach. But she was wrong because Regina was his mother.

No not was. SHE IS his mother no matter what they say.

She gave him everything he wanted. She made sure she never acted like her own mother had. Gods just the thought of the things she was put through as a child is enough to make her sick to the stomach. But that was the past.

And Regina loves Henry. She may have been a bit overprotective but it was for love. It was because a life without him used to be something she just could not picture nor wanted anymore. But that was before. Before that stupid Savior decided to ruin it all. She was fine. OK maybe she did not say good morning to those peasants every day or put on a smile for then and acted like she didn't have a care in the world. But she was no longer evil. For 28 years she didn't kill. She didn't even want to do that anymore. To be that person anymore. That thirst for blood was long gone. Or so Regina thought.

When she got home one day and couldn't find Henry she panicked. She expected to worse to have happened. But the worse unfortunately could not compare to the reality. To come across with that hero wannabe was pure madness. And don't get me wrong. Yes, she has always been comfortable with it. She has played with it before so many times. But seeing that woman on her house claiming to be her son's birth mother brought her to another level. A level of pure insanity.

So she fought. And she tried to push Swan away. Away from her, from her son, from her city, from her safety net. Just away. But it was never enough. All of her actions only led to her son hate her more and cling to that woman. How could he? Emma Swan gave him up. The Savior didn't even care if he turned out homeless or abused. And even so Regina was never enough. Cora's words in her head making it more difficult to breathe. "You are not enough. Not pretty enough, not smart enough, not ladylike enough. You are not worth anything. You weak and pathetic girl."

But she was done. Every day for the past moths that Regina came across Henry he was always with some member of the Non-Charming Clan. Though not today. Today he was alone on that bench and she was going to talk with him and she would be able to breathe once more.

"Henry" He looked at her then. Gosh he has grown so much in so little time.

"Regina" He answered. Just when she thought the pain could not be any worse he proved her wrong.

"I miss you Henry. You don't talk to me anymore, I am standing right here and you won't even look at me. Please I am begging you just look at me." She had her eyes full of tears by now. And she knows that is a sign of weakness and that once more Cora was right but she couldn't care less. Not right now. Not if it meant he would have her back in his life.

He looked at her. Bur not like he once did with so much love. No today his eyes only held resentment and anger. "There. Are you happy now. Was that enough to get you to leave me be? Because I don't want your presence any longer."

"You can't mean that. I am your mother and I love you!"

"No you don't. You are just the Evil Queen not my mother. Emma is my mother and is she who I love. I have never even loved you. I've always known who you were. I just pretended so you would not kill me too before I could bring the Savior to break your curse. In fact I hate you. So stop saying that you miss me or that you love me because I DON'T CARE! I don't want to see you never again. So if you pass me by pretend I am not even there. Is what I do to you anyway." And he just stormed out leaving a very hurt Regina behind. She was stunned to say the least but she would not continue to play the clown for those at the park. So she turned around and went to her house. And only once she got there she would let herself breakdown.

She had lost it all. She never really had much. But all she ever had was taken. Why? Why could she never have anything? Why could she never have someone? Anyone? Was Cora really that right? Was she really so insignificant no one could love her? Maybe she should have believed her mother sooner. Believed she would never and could never be happy. Maybe she would have given up by now. Maybe she would have hurt a lot less. Maybe.

But for now she was tired. Probably because she has not eaten anything to give her strength. She almost did not eat at all, she only did thinking maybe Henry would walk through that door. But now… Well she knew he wouldn't.

But it was his choice. It was not his fault that she was unlovable. It was hers. Which is why come tomorrow morning she is going to Boston to find a lawyer to pass her parental rights to Emma Swan. And after that, she really did not know.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the second chapter.
> 
> Once again English is not my language and for that I apologise for any mistakes
> 
> don't own ouat.
> 
> Reviews are always welcome :D Enjoy

**The next morning**

She woke up early. No need to delay the inevitable, she was never one to do that. So she used all the strength she had to get out of bed and pack her suitcase. Nothing much, mostly casual, but with some fabulous party dresses (the night would always be young after all), she was no longer Mayor, but most important she was also going somewhere people didn't know her, didn't have expectations of failure of whatever, she could be whoever she wanted to be. And right now that was only Regina, nothing more. "Can't really be any less than that, I don't see how you could do much worse. But you always manage to surprise me, don't you?" With her mother's voice always so present in her life, every moment tormenting her head. But today she just didn't care, today she would ignore Cora and her hateful comments, and that was a final.

She took a shower and had breakfast, a real one this time. She was done starving herself, there was no good in that. Plus, she was getting back on the road. It's has been awhile, before Henry she travelled all over the world. She went places, she met people, she did it all but it never filled her void. But then came Henry and well, he used to be more than enough for her. Yes, they have gone travelling but nothing too grand, not like she did before, no more than a month time because he had school and that would come first, always. His future was important to her, not in a manipulative kind of way. She wanted him to achieve his goals, but he would have to do it on his own. She would not buy nor sell his way into future, his greatness would be his credit and his credit alone. And she would be damn proud of him. She would be, as in not happening anymore, because he made sure to say he did not want her in his life.

She was so exhausted the day before that she didn't even put a second thought on the things he said before completely blacking out. But now… All she is thinking is: "Did he mean it? He truly never loved me? Was it all a lie?" Her most conscious part kept telling her that no, it was not a lie, he loved you, he still does, he is just confuse and hurt that's all. But the Cora in her head wouldn't give in, would always remind her that yes, it had to be, because nobody would love her. But Regina had already said that today Cora would not have a say in the matter, but she was never any good at shutting her up. This is why stop thinking all together was the best option.

The only way to do that was getting in the car and driving, so she did.

* * *

**Boston**

The first place she went when she made it to the city was her lawyer's firm. She didn't have an appointment set out but with the amount of money she was spending, she would not be put to wait. She was also a queen and not having her way was unacceptable.

Her lawyer was good, she had to give him that. He said by the end of tomorrow he would have everything done, only missing Miss Swan's signature.

So there she was, once again in Boston with nothing to do and no one waiting for her at home. She checked in the best hotel of the city in her opinion, The Ritz, and decided she was in need of some booze, and maybe who knows even some fun with a stranger. She had to Henry out of her system, is what he wants, and for now that's all she can think about that would distract her a bit. So she took another shower, put on a very tight black dress that reached three fingers above her knee, leaving her thigh exposed, some light make up and blood red lipstick to make her even more irresistible.

She went to a club. Don't ask her the name though because she desn't remember. She asked the hotel manager for some intel on the best ones, he told her his clients favorite, she said she trusted him so he gave her taxi driver the location. And she was glad she heard him. The place was great, it was classy but also sexy. Filled up with very hot and beautiful people, and fuck! That was just what she needed.

She went to the bar and ordered a drink. She was about to order another one when this beautiful redheaded said hello.

"Hi" She answered while eating the girl with her eyes. Not that the other woman cared, because she was doing the same to the queen.

"Could I buy you a drink?"

"Well of course dear. If someone so breath taking as yourself asks for such a thing. How could I deny you?"

The girl laughs then and signalize to the bartender for another round. "My name is Camille."

"Regina, and believe me when I say that meting you has been my pleasure."

"I would sure hope so. Maybe even mine."

That line won her a smirk. One that the girl thought could make her come right there. Oh, but she had no idea where she put herself into. "Well if you'll be so kind and accompany me to my suite, I'll show you pleasure. Like you never thought possible dear." The last part was just a whisper on the girl's ear and the shiver that made its way on her body was even more fuel to Regina.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, here is the next one. Really tough for me because it is my first smut so sorry if it sucks hahahaha
> 
> English not my language so sorry for my mistakes.
> 
> Warnings: sexual content, light mention of child abuse and self harm
> 
> Reviews are always welcome :D Enjoy

They barely made it pass the door to Regina's room before they were all over each other. Once inside, Regina made it clear to the girl who was in charge. She picked her up of the floor and all but carried her to the bed and set out to make good on her promise.

She placed Camille sited on the edge of the bed with her legs on the outside and began to undress herself. She pulled the zipper down and let the dress fall leaving her in only black lace panties because the dress she was wearing did not require a bra.

"Fuck you're hotter than I thought you were and I had pretty high expectations."

"Thank you dear. Now let me see you." She took the girl's hand in hers and raised her up. She let her eyes wander through the beauty clad in a royal blue dress that had a sweetheart neckline and ended mid thigh for a second before almost rip it from that glorious body. Underneath was a strapless blue lace bra with matching panties. She looked good enough to eat. And eat her up she would. "Aren't you quite the sight as well?" She purred with eyes dark as night filled with the purest type of lust while removing the bra to expose a handful of delicious looking breasts. Growing tired of waiting to see the girl completely exposed before her she in one fluid movement slid the girl's panties down to her ankles and helped her step out of them to after position Camille in the center of the bed, feet on the mattress and legs apart, completely open for her entertainment.

"You dear are so wet you're glistening. Glistening so much I don't even need to touch you to know it". Regina said while climbing in bed on all fours in the middle of the girl's spread thighs.

"Please do. Touch me. I need you right now." She chuckled then and looked at her in the eyes. "I know you do. But don't worry I'll take care of you." Yes, tonight would be fun.

The first time Camille came was with her mouth. People always say it's one of Regina's most sexy aspects so she always put it for good use. She moved her way down the girl body, from pink lips all the way to her pussy. Though she made some pauses on an inviting neck, to very perfect and very pink little nipples. Gosh a woman's breasts have always been one of her favorites but the show must go on. This is why she continued to make her way down giving little bites and feathers like kisses while scratching long beautiful legs with her fingernails until she reached paradise. The first touch there was a kiss right above the girl's clit and she felt the whole body beneath her tremble, so she did it again and that caused a breathy moan to come out from pink lips that was previously being bitten from expectation. And well what a lovely sound that was. So now decided to hear it so many more times and so much louder than before Regina licked with the flat of her tongue from that too inviting pink entrance all the way to the clit five really slow times. She then spread those lips so she could have a better view of the girl's pleasure button and flicked it from side to side first, gently oh so gently, that left the girl begging.

"Please don't stop. Please it's so good. You're so good. Fuck!" The queen hasn't even started and the redheaded was already going insane. She changed her moves then; She would suck the clit only to circulate that tasty opening right after over and over again. By that time Camille was close, so close she was moaning louder and louder, breathing fast and saying incoherent phrases that sound way too sexy in Regina's mind.

Wanting to get the girl out of her misery she raised both legs to the girl's chest and ordered for them to stay put giving the queen better access to fuck Camille with her tongue. And that is how she came. Hard. Screaming. Body completely still, experiencing waves and waves of pleasure. But for the queen that was not enough so she replaced her tongue with two experienced fingers driving the girl to the edge again.

"Fuck, don't stop, don't ever stop. Fuck fuck fuck. Yes!" And she came. She did even harder than before. Harder that she ever thought possible, completely spent and transformed into a quivering mess. "God what have you done to me?" She asked once she got her breath back which seemed to take hours.

Regina gave her a once over, climbed her way up to kiss those provocative lips and answered: "Well I only did what I said I would."

"You're smug. But after what you did to me I'll let it pass. But now is my turn."

With her so famous smirk Regina let the girl know what she was thinking. "Why don't we see then what you've got in store hum?."

That was how they spent the rest of their night.

* * *

**The next day**

She woke up sore. Deliciously sore and before she opened her eyes she thought about the night before. She had a goodtime with the girl and after a well deserved climax she slept peacefully. Best sleep she had in more than a year.

The last time she slept well was the night before Henry got that stupid book and started to push her away. They were good back then. In moments of clarity like this she is sure of it. He was happy. He had a good childhood. They had an open relationship; she had been honest about the adoption since he was 4 and asked why he did not have a father. It broke her heart to explain everything to him especially when he asked if Emma had left him because he was not good enough for her. No, her son was everything but not enough and she made sure to let him know that every day by showing her love and gratitude for him. Or so she thought. Thinking back she did not see this outcome. She imagined a life watching him grow right beside him but not this.

Now in the morning she remembers the pain and it's getting bigger by the minute. She is not giving up on him. No, she is giving him what he wants. She knows the Charmings had no rights to take him like they did. She only let it because Henry wanted to leave. She has been in his shoes before more times than she can count, trying to escape Cora and all the pain she inflicted every day. Regina never laid a hand on him nor would she ever. But she had sworn to herself that her son would never feel trapped, caged, and in misery. So no matter how much it kills her she will set him free. If his happiness does not involve her she would let him be. Is her ultimate and last gift to him. Freedom.

She opens her eyes then to see an empty bed and a note. "I had the most amazing night last night and would really like to repeat it someday. Here's my number call me. Camille xx."

"Well Camille I just might. Who knows?" She said to herself and went on with her day. Ordered breakfast took a shower and took off for a day in the city.

It was 4 pm by the time her lawyer called to let her know that the papers were ready for her. She went pick them up. It was then that it really hit her. Her little prince was to be no longer hers. That fate was only two signatures away and that reality brought her back to a place she hoped she would never return. It was too dark over there and too lonely. But she had no option. And no one to pull her out either.

She thanked the man and went back to the hotel. Today not sex or even an alcohol induced coma was going to help her calm down. No, today only more pain would help. Even if it would make her feel worse come morning it would be the only way. She went to the bathroom took her clothes off and sat in the marble tub with a razor blade and she cut. She went slow enjoying the burn in her skin. She hasn't done this since she got Henry and for once after so long be able to see her pain was a bliss. To deceive herself into thinking she was only hurting because she was bleeding. Because her flesh was being cut open before her eyes. If for a fraction a time, no matter how little she could make herself believe that was her problem than it was ok. For some reason the pain would be smaller. Bearable.

Tomorrow she would drive back to Storybrook and rid her soon to be ex-son (was that even a thing? She didn't believe so) of the misery to be bound to her even if that bound was now just by name.

Tomorrow.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is up. English is not my language for sorry for my mistakes.
> 
> Warnings: Self Harm, Child Abuse and Depression
> 
> Dont own ouat.
> 
> Please leave a review so I can know what you are thinking :D

She woke up sore again but not deliciously so like yesterday. No, today was just sore, sore and full of regrets. She remembered the night before, the cutting, the plain despair of not knowing what else to do to make her feel any better. She remembered that huge amount of shame she felt that always came when she did that.

The first time she hurt herself was unintentional. She was 14 years old and could no longer take her beatings and punishments without questioning. When she was younger she thought Cora was really doing it for her own good but as she grew older she started to realize most of what she got was for a show of power. It was just so she could understand that her mother was the one who called the shots. She? She was nothing but a poppet to Cora's desires.

That day Cora had made her fall off the horse she was mounting by using magic because she thought Regina resembled a brute and no child of hers would be that. With the fall the teen broke one arm and a few ribs and when she asked for a healer Cora had said no because that pain served her right for being improper.

Regina had to walk back home in pain, so much pain. But silly of her for believing her punishment would be just that.

Some people say that physical pain it's always the worse but for her that was never the case and Cora knew it. So by night fall she got into Regina bedchambers and started the real torture.

"How dare you disrespect me like that in front of the helping hands? You have a name to follow you stupid child." She hissed into the girls face. Regina was sitting on the bed looking straight into her mother's eyes. She knew if that she didn't her punishment would be worse. So she took it all without blinking and without making a sound or a move. Even if her broken ribs was making almost impossible for her to remain still and in right pose. "So tell me, how is it that you can be this useless? Is it out of spite? To only make me more disgusted by the thought of you being my blood? Or do you like it? Do you enjoy the pain I bring to you? What are you? A freak? And if not. Are you really so dumb you can't even understand the concept of mistakes and what kind of results that gains? You disappoint me more and more every day Regina. All I ever ask of you is one simple task. That is for you to act like a lady instead of an animal and you can't deliver it. Why? Where was I so wrong when I birthed you for you to come out like this?" Regina was trying she really was. But this was too much for her so let her tears make their way down her sore full face. She was also trying to remain silent but eventually little hip cups or whining sounds of lack of breath for trying to not to make a sound would come out.

In a rage induced move for Regina's lack of composure she slapped her daughter across the face with her diamond ring cutting the flesh above the girl's lips open. The strength of the slap so strong it sent the girl face down onto the mattress. Pain shot through the child making it even harder to stop the sobs from taking over her body and ever so often failing.

"And we can't even say that your looks makes up for you lack of manners because you are not even attractive. I've seen peasants that held more poise than you. You my dear are a waste of air and more important of my time. Why must a mother hurt so much? Why was I destined to such a failure? I guess I'll never know. And stop with this whining it's irritating." Before leaving the room she threw a spell successfully mending Regina's broken bones and sealing the cut. "It'll leave a scar so you will never forget. Maybe now you'll learn." There was no reason for longs periods of physical pain, not when Cora knew those words that had come out of her mouth would have broken deeper into her daughter. That it would leave a scar far uglier than the one in her mouth. She gave one last glance to the body lying on the bed shaking with sobs of misery and with a triumphant smirk she finally left.

Regina cried. She cried till her eyes were hurting so badly she literally could no more. The teen made her way out of bed and passed the mirror. Oh! What a terrible mistake. Her reflection was mocking her; it was living proof of her mother's cold words. She was ugly and now that thing on her face made her even uglier. She was despicable and she did not wish to see herself anymore. So she punched through the image the mirror was creating making it shatter all the way and leaving her with an too inviting path of blood rolling down her arm. It was hypnotizing. As the blood would flow a sense of numbness would rise and she found that maybe that was the only way out.

But she had stopped. After Henry there was no need for that anymore, he used to hold her up no matter the which day was but now he would never be there again. Yesterday she had cut her thigh. She prefer there because it's a place where she could get a better view of things and a better control of how deep she would cut because she didn't want to kill herself she only wanted to alleviate the pain.

After she had enough she took the first aid kit that every hotel has in its rooms and tended to her cuts. She was already ashamed of having reached this low again. Come morning she would heal herself. She could do it now but the after pain and discomfort of her actions would serve her as punishment for being so weak once again.

The next morning it was only after she woke up, had breakfast, took another shower and packed everything up that she healed the cuts. She paid her hotel bill and set out on the road back to Storybroke.

She would finish this once and for all.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is the next chapter. A rather lighter one but also a very important one.
> 
> English is not my language so sorry for my mistakes.
> 
> Don't own ouat.
> 
> Please review because your coments mean a lot to me. XX

"Welcome to Storybroke." Funny how such a little thing could make someone close to tears. Regina has been fighting with herself through the whole drive back. She would be strong and face this turn of events with her head held high. But that sign was another reminder of her empty life. The town would welcome everyone but her. Nobody wanted her over there not even her son.

She went straight home. The plan was to get everything of Henry's she had kept over the years. She put photo albums, school's arts and papers, old clothes and his favorite toys in separated boxes then moved to clear his old room. There was still some shirts and pjs, most of his old comic books but other than that the room was empty much like her life. She then went on every single place in the mansion to remove any trace of Henry. By the end she had 5 boxes and was waiting on Emma telling her where to deliver them and everything else of his that she was sure he would not want (not that she thought he would want any of the things she packed) was going to the city's orphanage.

With all that done she drove to the sheriff station to speak with Miss Swan.

* * *

The sound of heels alerted Emma somebody was coming. She was tired damn tired and this being a mom and a daughter thing was stressing. She came to love Henry. The boy got her heart with his optimist ways and his strong belief on her. She never had that. She have always been the drop out kid who nobody wanted then became the troubled teenager only to end up as the lonely stranger with no one on her emergency contact. So to have a kid who you left after giving birth to came back saying you are his savior and offering you all you ever wanted was like win the lottery for Emma. To matter was all she always wanted and to be a freaking Savior to a whole town was just more than she had dreamed of. This is why she did what she did.

It was wrong of her to take Henry from Regina like she did and she knows it. All she wanted growing up was a safe environment, he may have said she was evil but Emma had seen her shares of evil parents and Regina was nothing of the sort. The boy was a brat, she got that from his room, the perfect room customized by his requests while Emma barely gotten a bed. Regina was all she wanted as mother but even knowing that she still took him. No, not took because that sounds like kidnapping when she just allows him to live with her without his mother's consent. See, not kidnap at all. At least not here in Storybroke where she is a princess and her parents (yeah right. Like putting her in a tree and shipping her to Maine count as a parenting material) all but said Henry was not allowed to be with Regina even though she raised him perfectly fine on her own for ten years. Fuck her life was so screwed up.

"Miss Swan!" Oh God I'm day dreaming and missed what she said I even missed she walking in which is hard given how hot she is. Crap I am not supposed to find her attractive, she is the ex mother in law and arch enemy of my mother and probably is not even into woman. "I'm sorry Regina, could you repeat that?"

"You are unbelievable but ok I will repeat. I need to have a conversation with you." Well shit she wants to talk. It got to be about Henry. Now having a good look at her I think she is rather paler and thinner, is she sick?

"Hum ok. Have a sit please."

"I'm here as you can imagine so we can discuss about Henry and his current living arrangements."

"Look Regina…"

"No, I speak and you will listen to what I have to say without another sound leaving your mouth. Was that clear?" Regina needed to take charge otherwise she would never be able to do this.

"Yes."

"Good now onto the matter at hand. I raised Henry therefore he is and will always be my son. The fact that you birthed him does not justify your actions and the only reason they were tolerated was because it was his wish. I tried to give him it all but as it would appear I have failed at that. My mother was not a good woman and her actions led me here and when I adopted Henry I swore to myself I would be better than her. That I would take his wishes in consideration and would never cage him. For some reason he believes you are a better fit as a parenting and does not want anything to do with me. For the past three months I have been trying to reconnect with him only to realize his aversion towards me is not going to change. So I have decided to give him what he wants the most that is freedom from me."

She took a deep breath trying to calm down a bit and handed Swan the first envelope. "I signed these papers giving my parental rights for you meaning you are officially his mother. She looked at the Savior's face and could not for the life of her figure it out what the woman was thinking but she was almost over so she handed her the second and last envelope. "And this other one is for a change of his name. He will no longer be Henry Daniel Mills; his name is now for your choosing. Do you understand?"

Speechless. Emma Swan was completely and utterly at loss of words. She sat there with her mouth hanging open staring at Regina like she has grown a new head. Never would she have imagined this. It made sense because once again the brunette was putting Henry desires on top of hers. Regina was a natural mother to her very core. But upon noticing the brunette's patience getting thinner by the second she came back to earth and responded her. "Yes I did."

"Good. The rest of his things are already packed and waiting for your say to where drop then. Do you want it here or at the apartment?" Regina was already growing impatient with Emma's lack of response. Must this woman always make everything in her life harder?

"Here would be good" With a flick of her hands the boxes appeared one at the top of the other in two piles right beside the sheriff's desk scaring the Savior to no end. "Magic right, way easier than carry one by one I guess." The blond woman muttered must to herself but it hasn't gone unnoticed by the older one.

"Yes, now if you excuse me." And with that the ex Mayor left the office leaving Emma to figure it out how to break the news once she was home. Home. Still weird for her but now Henry was hers for real. And suddenly Regina's pain and thoughts no longer matter because she won. She had it all even if half of this all was somebody else's happiness and life or if the other half was being hypocrite and living a lie with the people who abandoned her.

* * *

After dealing with Emma, Regina went to the orphanage to donate the rest of Henry things and the furniture of his old room. To say she was exhausted was an understatement and she was also very hungry and in no mood for cooking.

So Granny's would be the place to go next. Maybe Ruby would cheer her up. They created somewhat of a relationship during the curse and after one month if it broken and Ruby remembering it everything the wolf demanded to know form Regina if it their times together had been just to irritate Snow or if everything they shared was true. The queen said it was and that she really enjoyed Ruby's company and after two weeks of thinking the girl decided to give Regina a try and now they are being friendly towards each other once again.

And maybe a friendly wolf girl and some food was all Regina needed to help distract herself and not lose her mind till the end of the day.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next one hope you guys like it.
> 
> English is not my language so sory for mymistakes.
> 
> Warnings: drugs
> 
> Please leave a reviewso I can know what you are thinking xx

**Flashback**

It was 8 months since she had cast the curse and Regina had spent every day trying and discovering everything about her little city. She had not gone outside of it yet afraid to do something stupid and make a fool of herself in this new and exciting land.

Today she was once again going to the one of the night clubs Storybroke had to offer. There were 2 made only for dancing and one more that was a mix between a real bar and a dance club. They weren't all too big but one could have fun.

Yes, the curse made every day repeat itself but only in its essence. People could change small bits of what they did during the day like go to a different place to eat, a wear different clothes or different ways to have fun in their free times (I know right she cursed the fuckers so they could have fun and indoor plumbing. Plus they were actually only collateral damage, she just wanted a clean break somewhere she could still have control of things. Because complete control of her life was something she would never give up again). This is why the bar had a change of crowd almost daily. But the more important part of the curse is that if Regina was with someone she had the power to change what they had to do that moment of any other she dictated.

Tonight she went out wearing a lose dress that barely reached mid thigh made of something like little metal rings and had a small belt accentuating her waist. She was very much alike Tina Turner and was definitely going for the kill.

When she arrived the club was rather full so she made her way to the bar to get a drink. She knew she would have a good time today and see the sexy wolf girl talking of rather trying to get out of her talk with some ugly stranger only served to prove her right. Guess Regina was to be Red's or rather Ruby's Knight in Shining Armor. Oh! The delicious irony of life.

"Ruby, sorry I'm late." Regina said with her most calm voice while putting her hand on the girl's back. Ruby looked at her with uncertainty but after a glare and a minute to understand what the fuss was about the pretty wolf smiled.

"Regina you look great and don't worry I haven't been waiting for long."

"That's good now if you'll excuse us gentleman." The man looked like he wanted to argue but with only an arch of eyebrows daring him to make a stupid move he left, quite fast in fact. Poor peasant was terrified. Good because that is how she likes them.

"Thank you Mayor Mills, he was really bothering me."

"Oh my dear Ruby no need for formalities and it was my pleasure rid you of his presence. But do you know what else would be my pleasure?" She moved closer then, so close she could feel the sexy brunette's breath hitch and see those eyes completely darken with lust. "You my dear, to have you inside me would be simply perfection." She looked at her like a tiger waiting for its prey to make the first move, and what a glorious move that was. The green eyed beauty threw herself at the queen and kissed her. Long and hard.

Once the kiss was finished the queen purred into Ruby's ears. "Follow me dear, I know of a more private place." Regina led their way through the people until they reached a medium sized corridor with a dark metal door and a security guard on its end. Growing rather anxious and excited the girl asked where they were going.

"We are going to the VIP lounge."

"What! This place has a VIP lounge? How did I not know this?"

"Yes, it does and I'm sorry but you didn't know because you are not a VIP costumer. Although that status will change if I say so and while you're with me I say so." The bodyguard then opened the door and with a nod Regina led Ruby in.

"Wow this place is cool!" The girl's enthusiasm was addicting. She was taking everything in at a lightning speed. The room was completely black filled with red and dark purple neon lights leaving a rather very mysterious and sexy vibe. The music playing was slow, erotic and inviting. There was a bar in one corner and six tables at a good range of distance from each other and in the middle was small dance floor.

They went for the bar and Regina ordered two of her usual and told the barmen to keep them coming and also asked for something Ruby did not comprehended but didn't question either. There were two empty tables and they decided for the one near the back.

"What are you thinking dear?"

"That I have never been so happy that a douche bag to hit on me." The wolf said it with so much conviction that made Regina's blood boil with lust. But before she could respond the waitress handed over their drinks and left a small package on the table that got Ruby's attention. "What is this?"

The queen has always been into drugs or anything to alleviate the pain. The ones from the Enchanted Forest and the order realms she had visited were much stronger than the ones from this world but they could still do the trick. Because of a spell she put in herself a long time ago Regina could not suffer from abstinence from any kind of drugs because the spell gave her power over her body's desires and needs and since addiction was not something she needed to worry about she tried all different types of drugs she would encounter. The one she was offering on the other hand did not leave your body sick and begging for more it would only help you relax and that's why she asked for this one. One that Ruby would have no problem trying; its effectives were lighter but still very much pleasurable.

"My dear, this is only something to take the edge off but if you don't wish to use it there's no problem." She said this while looking in her eyes trying to show her she meant it. And she did with every fiber of her being.

Ruby saw so much sincerity in those dark brown eyes it scared her. She always thought the queen attractive and imagined many wicked things to do in the mayor's desk but not once she imagined she would feel this safe with the woman. "I want to try it."

"Are you sure Ruby? You don't need it, this won't do you any harm but if you not comfortable with it you really don't have to." The power to have a say in her life was everything that was taken from Regina and she wouldn't do that to anyone especially not Ruby, who is someone she always admired from afar for her strength. So she needed to be sure the other woman wanted this.

"I trust you to keep me safe and if you say it's good than I want to try it." I trust you. I TRUST YOU. Trust, that word was all Regina could think. How could this woman trust her without even knowing her at all? "Ok." Was she trusted herself to say.

Light, Ruby felt light as a feather floating through the crowd. After 2 shots of a delicious drink and a taste of the pill Regina had offered they went to dance in the middle of the people. The girl was oblivious to everything but the queen's hands on her hips. They had a strong but gentle grip and combined by the way the hot mayor was swinging her curvaceous body along with the music was driving the other brunette insane. "I want you." She whispered close to Regina's full lips. "I need you."

The queen had taken three pills and was just losing herself into the dance and the feel of the other woman's body but hearing those worlds brought Regina back to her want for the wolf. "Please." With that she was gone. She kissed the girl with passion and was rewarded with the same intensity of want, they came apart only when breath was necessary and the look the younger woman was giving her was enough to make the queen drag her to the room in the back she always pays to be empty for her.

"What is this place?" Ruby asked looking around while Regina locked the door. The room was small, big enough only to fit about two people at arm's length and a really good looking black leather recliner.

"This is where I'm going to fuck you dear."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha please don't kill me. The next chapter will start right after this one left off and will of course hold some sexy times between these two lovely ladies
> 
> Muah!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok this is a bigger chapter because I didn't think that cutting this into a 3 piece was fair.
> 
> It starts off right where we left the chapter before and have sexual content
> 
> English is not my language so sory for my mistakes.
> 
> Please leave a review so I can know what you guys are thinking so far.

"This is where I'm going to fuck you dear."

Oh lord of curse! Regina Mills is going to fuck me. Mayor fucking Mill is fucking going to fuck me here. Shit! This is THE BEST day of my life.

Ok was all Ruby could mutter too enraptured with Regina's movements. The queen was undressing herself while saying that and only stopped when she was completely naked.

"You wanted me didn't you? And now you are going to get it." She was in front of Ruby now and taking the girl's clothes off and sitting her in the chair. She mounted the girl with all her grace and kissed her.

She had one hand in the wolf hair and the other was playing with an erect nipple. The girl moaned.

"Look at me. I want you to look at me while I fuck you do you hear me. I want to be looking in your eyes when you come for me and you will come." She said this with a strong hold of the woman's hair and the other hand now cupping her cunt between their bodies.

"Please Regina." Those were magic words the queen was expecting. She slid one finger inside that dripping opening and the girl screamed of pleasure.

"You like this don't you?" She said as she started to thrust in and out of the girl. "You love my hand fucking you. I can feel it, feel your walls closing around my finger. Begging for more, begging for the release you so desperately need."

The queen put another finger inside then, touching all the right places, making the girl feel incredible things all over her body. Ruby couldn't tell if it was the penetrating eyes looking deep in her soul, the sexy words coming out of that perfect mouth or the never stopping coming and going of Regina's hand. Maybe it was everything but when the queen brought her thumb into play to touch her clit; everything was too much.

"Yeees Regina, yes. Just like that please. I'm gonna come please don't stop."

The older woman fucked her harder and faster loving the sight of the younger girl almost coming.

"Yes Ruby, come for me. Just like that. God you are so beautiful like this. So fucking hot. Come for me my girl now."

And she did. She did it screaming Regina's name like a never ending prayer. Enjoying the way her body was so well played by those hands and riding her waves like never before.

When the girl calmed down all she could think to do was make Regina Mills feel as good as she did. So she switched places with the mayor, leaving the goddess sitting down on the leather chair with her legs on is armrests providing a perfect view of the woman's completely bare sex. Regina was never one to like hair on her body, so she always kept herself clear of any sign of it and because she also thinks it makes her sexier.

Ruby could not agree more for she was mesmerized by it. She got down on her knees and started liking the queen and playing with the woman's breasts. Regina always imagined that the girl would be good at giving head because of her canine's tendencies but thiswas like going heaven and back. The wolf would move her smooth and oh so talented tongue giving long and firm swipes to the other woman's slit to then give attention to the clit sucking and flicking it making fire spread through the older woman's body.

"Yes Ruby, just like that. Make me come. I want to come in your mouth." Fuck this woman was delicious, she tasted like paradise and she was addicted. Rudy didn't have to worry about the drug she consumed because for her Regina's taste and the things she said to the wolf girl would be her undoing. Well let's be honest, Regina could be anyone's undoing period. But for now Ruby would make sure she could cause the queen enough pleasure so she would seek her again.

Regina was feeling her muscles starting to tighten. That all too tempting feeling of almost reaching the edge of climax. She was looking down at Ruby while patting her head. Oh such a good little pet this one could be and the visual of the things she could do to the wolf bound for her was all it took for the bliss to strike her. She came holding the girls head tight to her core with trembling limbs and hot liquid dripping out of her. Yeah this one she could keep, this one would make her days in this land much more fun.

And that's how the relationship began. At first they would fuck. Sometimes alone, other times Regina would bring Graham to play and even other people but always with the ok from Ruby first. And the girl was always excited to innovate but only if Regina was involved. She trusted the mayor to no end and felt safe with her. As the time went by Regina started to see the wolf with new eyes and some nights were she was too gone down her depressing path she would make the girl her confident, never thinking that the curse would break and hoping that if it did she could trust her to keep her secrets.

Regina made sure that Ruby would remember it all and could be free to do as please, releasing her of the hard clutches of the curse. But when Henry started to back away from her and she realized the patch she was returning she made the girl forget it all and once again be stuck with the dark curse choices for her life.

**End of flashback**

* * *

**At Granny's**

The place was rather empty because it was out of rush hour so Regina made her way to the counter and sat at her usual bench waiting for Ruby to get her orders.

"Well hello there hot stuff. What brings you here in this fine day?"

"Hi Ruby, I'm in for the meat." She wanted to do the flirting? I could do the flirting Regina thought.

"Oh, really Madam Mayor. What kind of meat?"

"Well the wolf kind it's my favorite and could eat it every day for long periods of time and never get tired of its taste."

"Fuck Regina you can't say things like that while I'm at work it's not fair." Regina knew the reaction she had on the tall brunette and who ever said that's wrong to play with your food was strongly mistaken in her opinion.

"I guess I'll just stick with my usual then." The queen answered with a self-satisfied smirk.

"You are a tease. I'll be right back."

Fifteen minutes after Ruby returned letting Regina know she was on her lunch break and invited the woman to join her in the back.

"So you took forever with my dish so I would eat with you? You could have just said it before."

'I know' was all she got as an answer. The woman was looking at her in a weird way making the queen rather tense. "What is the matter Ruby?"

"Where were you?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me right the first time. Where were you? You were gone for three days, and there's no need to try lying your way out because I can smell everyone and I have not smelled you since. Normally it wouldn't quite matter but you are also acting strange. So where were you, and what the hell did you do?"

"What?" The voice that got to her ears was weak and small, a perfect portrait of her right now. Regina was such an idiot. To think somebody could care for her. Would want to support her and make her feel better. But of course she was wrong, who in its right mind would show a little care for the Evil Queen. Apparently the answer was nobody. She has been gone doing the most painful thing she ever had to do and the first thing Ruby thinks is that she what? Killed somebody? Broke the law? 'Pathetic girl, when will you ever learn? Nobody loves you. Nobody wants you. You are disposable. Just like trash.' It was Cora's voice and her laughter. Stop Cora! Please…. She was screaming in her head. Not anymore. She could not handle this anymore.

The wolf saw the queen retreat into her shell and was waiting for the worse. God she thought she could trust Regina. That she had changed. The Ruby inside her was screaming at her, calling her stupid, telling her Regina did nothing wrong and needed help. But Red won so she continued waiting for the bomb to drop.

And when Regina looked at her like she was ready to fight the wolf prepared for the attack, one that never came. The only thing that did was a broken response and silent tears that broke her heart in too many pieces.

"What I did was be stupid enough to believe you could care. Three days ago my son said he did not want to see me ever again. He said he hated me and that he never loved me and wished me gone. I was away making his dreams come true and destroying mine's in the process. Miss Swan just signed the papers that say I give her Henry's parental rights. My whole world is gone and left me evermore broken than I already am. And pathetic little me thought you could and would make me feel better. But I'm always wrong and I don't know why I thought otherwise."

She was openly crying now and pouring her hurt for the world to see. She was exhausted and just wanted the pain to stop. Why would she never stop hurting?

Ruby didn't know what to do and how to digest the news. She was falling apart tor the woman and how she treated her. Why was she so stupid and didn't listened to what her insides were screaming? She wished she could take it back and make it better but knew she couldn't. This so called Evil Queen was and still is put through so much pain and she just made it even more difficulty to bear. The woman had come to her and that is what she got? More pain. Ruby felt life killing herself for her actions.

The wolf made her way to the sobbing woman trying to reach her and hold her thought her tears but the queen was wounded an at first she flinched away. That hurt Ruby but that it is what she deserves because she helped break her even more. Regina, who during all these years held her heart and trust, who showed her the world and everything it could give you, the one who gave her freedom to choose whoever she wanted to be.

So she embraced the woman either way was saying she was sorry like a mantra. Like it could save a life, and maybe it would but just not hers. She was sorry for Cora, for Leopold, for Snow, for Rumple, for Henry, for Emma, for herself. God it was such a huge list of things she wanted to make up for and those people were only the beginning. She sat the queen on the floor held her for what must have been an hour. Granny must have heard it all and that is why she didn't came looking for Ruby.

Regina's head was all over the place. Ruby had hurt her but she saw how much the girl was hurting for her as well and she needed this. She needed someone to hold her and protect her and that is why she didn't stop the wolf from doing this. When her cries became whimpers the queen looked at Ruby and knew she was right in the end, the girl really cared for her and only acted like that out of instinct. The Snow's protector still strong inside her.

"Regina I'm sorry I said that I…"

"It is ok." The queen interrupted her. "I understand and I forgive you Ruby. Thank you for holding like this I really needed it."

"Anytime my queen." Regina's ass was numb from the hard floor and her makeup was all over her face, so you can't blame her for not feeling much queenly now.

"I believe you must return to work now pup." Her nickname flew from the beauty's mouth and that is how she knew they were ok. "I could take the day out and be with you." She offered.

"No it's ok. I'm ok now, now go before your grandmother shows up with the crossbow."

Ruby laughs at that while getting up. "Ok but if you need me I'm here."

"I just need more food because mine is now cold and a shower along and good shower."

"Ok just wait here and I'll bring it to you." The queen took that time to fix her appearance and when Ruby returned with her food she said her goodbyes and left trough the back door and drove straight home.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next chapter I hope you guys like it.
> 
> English is not my language so forgive me for my mistakes.

**That same day**

When Emma got home that day Henry was doing his homework, Snow or Mom or whatever (she didn't know what to call her or David anymore) was cooking and David (because Charming would not do) was nowhere to be seen. That sight scared and hurt her at the same time. This homey feeling was all she ever wanted and never got so to see it always made her a little uneasy. "Hi."

"Hey Emma." "Hey mom." Snow's cheering voice she was used to by now but to 'mom' she wasn't. She spent the past months trying to let it pass her so once Henry left it would be easier. But not anymore, he was hers now. Her son, she had in paper and that's what matter.

"What's wrong?"

Henry was looking at her like she had grown another head. Shit! She was daydreaming again only this time she was one arm coatless and was standing right beside the now closed door. She shrugged it off and moved away. "Sorry, I was just thinking."

"Okay…." Henry said while still looking at her. Great her son now thinks she is weird. Just fucking awesome. She made her way to the table and sat near him. It was now or never. She would take this out of her chest and everything would be okay. He would choose her right? He already did so there was no reason for her to be this nervous. The only question being: why was she?

"Kid can we talk for a bit?" She said it and Snow looked her way trying to understand what she was going to say.

"Sure" He answered without playing attention. But she guesses the nest sentence will do the work.

"So I saw Regina today."

"What? What happened?" That was Snow. "What did she do?" And that was her boy.

"Well she came into the station today so we could talk. Actually she did the talking I only listened."

"What did she say?" He sounds a bit scared and also a bit sad… Was that sadness? No it could not be. He didn't like her anymore, but then again you can't erase ten years of someone's life. Was this really right? Letting her selfishness win over her kid's happiness? It is definitely not what the so called Evil Queen did now is it? But hell, did it even matter? Of course it does a small voice whispered but there was another one screaming that it didn't and that is the one that won.

"She came to give me your parental rights."

"What?" One voice was shocked and loud but the other one was almost a whisper. She looked at him and now he did not see a kid who made his way over Boston to pick her up or a kid wanting nothing but the curse to be broken. Right now she only saw a boy with big brown eyes that held the same look she did every time she was tossed away by another family. And even if she wanted to gloat or say it was because Regina didn't want him because she was truly evil so he would be forever her she couldn't.

"Yeah kid, she came over to tell me that since you didn't want to stay with her anymore and wanted to be here she would give that to you. She said she loved you and for that she was giving you what you had said you wished. And that it was to be with us. She packed everything of yours that I left at her house and magicked it all at the station. I brought a few boxes with me but not everything because it wouldn't fit the Bug."

His eyes held understanding and happiness but now it definitely held hurt and sadness. Snow's face though did not show surprise like she thought. No her face sowed acceptance, almost like she knew this could happen. But how?

"Oh" His voice brought her back. "So she is really not my mother anymore? Not that she ever was." The last part was rushed, what she doesn't know is that if he said it only for them to believe it to be what he thinks or mostly for his own benefit, but worlds means nothing when his eyes tells another story.

"Yes that is true. She also gave me something to change your name."

"What? She wants me to change it?" Jesus, it hurt so much to do this, to say this, and now she knows her selfishness is cruel. It's wrong and she wished she could take it all back. But she can't, not anymore.

"Not everything Henry, only your last name given once you are now legally mine you should use my last name that is Swan and not Mills. But if you want to change your middle name you could too." But upon noticing how he was getting smaller and smaller in that chair she thought maybe he doesn't. "But we don't have to discuss this. Not now anyway, ok?"

"Yeah. Could you bring the boxes over? I want to see what is in it."

"Sure kid. Why don't you go take your shower while I get the two I got in the bug?"

"And I'll ask David to get the others on his way back." Snow emended her line.

He didn't say anything back, he only went upstairs. Emma watched him all the way and only when she heard the noise coming from the shower and Snow saying her name did she looked away.

"I can't imagine what he must be feeling but I knew it was coming."

"What?"

"Three days ago he went to the park. He said he wanted to go alone and I let it mostly because I knew Ashley goes there every day around that time. When he came back he was stressed and didn't want to speak about it. I got worry and called her. She said Regina went over and tried to talk to him but he didn't want to listen to her so when Ashley went to see if he needed something she saw Regina on the verge of tears and Henry saying that he never loved her, that he hated her and wished he never had to talk to her again. He basically said he wanted to be free from her. Regina was once a lot of things Emma, and one of them was pure. When I met her she was full of love and only wanted that, but her mother would not allow it. I knew she would put things together and do all she could to not do the same. She is dangerous and crazy that is why I didn't think Henry staying with her was a good idea but I have always known she would never hurt him on purpose like Cora did to her. And to cage him would never cross her mind. What I did not know or what I did not believe she would do is to give him up truly, to really give up all she has. "

"Well he lied; he clearly still loves the woman if what happened here is anything to go by." She couldn't understand. One minute Snow is believes Regina is a sociopath set out to kill and hurt everybody, and now she's saying how she knows her good intentions?

This fairytale people are so full of shit it irritates her. The fairest of them all just said Regina was pure when they met and if the woman only became 'evil' after said encounter she sure must have had a damn good reason to hunt her 'mother' down, did she not? Plus if Regina only wanted misery why not kill everybody during these 28 years that everyone was frozen into place? Mary Margaret was an idiot, Regina could have killed her with a kitchen knife, hell maybe even with one of those scissors that doesn't cut that teachers uses at school. Also wasn't Regina who brought David to the hospital? Why not just let him die in the middle of the road? And even bigger plus, Snow once said to her that the queen was so powerful she could kill anyone with a flick of her hand. So tell me God, why is this woman standing in front of her still alive? It just doesn't make any sense.

"I know Emma, I get it. And I'm sorry for him but it's what he said he wanted and he needs to learn how to take responsibility for his actions something he have not been teaching him how to do it. He needs this, Regina needs this, and we all do. We will give him stability and everything a family can provide and we hope for the best."

"What about Regina?"

"She is strong, she will get through it like always." What else had she gone through? What kind of things she had to endure for Snow to say this with so much certainty? That she didn't know, what she does know is that no matter how strong someone is they always break, and most times they do it alone and silently and that is where the danger lies. But not for the people like this 'hero' would think. No, the one in real danger from Regina is Regina herself, and to that Emma Swan surely can identify.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a review so I can know what you think


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is the next one. This one is finally from Henry POV and I really hope you guys like it.
> 
> English is not my language so forgive me for my mistakes
> 
> Don't own ouat!

He was confused. He couldn't understand. When he got the book from Snow and realized the curse was real he started to believe his mother. No, not his mother, The Evil Queen had never really loved him and that he was only being used to hurt the Savior. So he pushed Regina away but didn't tell her why, he could not risk her finding out he knew the truth and hurt him. Not that she ever did though, now looking back he remembers only safety and happiness in her arms and that is what is worse.

When the curse broke he thought her true colors were going to show and she would stop pretending that she loved him. But the only thing she did when it happened was to tell him her love was real. He didn't understand, the curse was over and she had lost so why continue lying?

As the first month went by he began to think it was trick. Some stupid plan to hurt Snow but the blow never came. He grow more and more anxious by the minute and the fact he was basically living with his grandparents and she hadn't object to it, and every time they crossed paths she would bow her head and ask to speak with him rather then demand it got him so mad.

He used to think she always kept him at a safe distance and that he was always followed but at least if it happened it was very discreet. The Charmings on the other hand would literally stalk him and never let him out without one of them but Henry needed time to think and sort everything out so he asked Snow if he could go to the park alone. Surprisingly so she accepted.

He was lost. He was living with his real family but he still felt lost and empty. Why couldn't he feel at home with them? What was wrong? It must have been her, she didn't attack any of them she only threw a spell on him while no one was looking. That was it, he figured it out. He just needed to find a way to break it, but he would do it and he would get his happy ending.

He was getting ready to head home when his mother showed up. No not mom you stupid brain, when Regina showed up (yeah that is better). She was being polite and almost crying. What kind of game was she after? He got angry and told her he hated her and even as he said it he knew it wasn't true. But maybe if he said it out loud to her he could get himself to believe it too. But it didn't quite work so he ran as fast as he could from her.

When he got home he wasn't in the mood for talking and he may have been a bit hurtful towards Snow but he would say sorry latter he just needed to calm down a bit.

The next two days were spent trying to come up with something to break the spell he was under but other than that it was uneventful, that is until Emma got home. When she said she saw Regina the first thing he thought was the worse but the second thing was sadness. Stupid spell that made him miss her.

As Emma kept on telling him what had really gone down at the encounter his world came crumbling down. She would not do this if it was just a plot for revenge. She was letting him go, she had no one and yet she was giving him to the people she hated the most because he had asked her to. She loved him. She loved HIM. He believed then but it was too late, he already had lost his mother. His mother because he knew now that it was not a spell, what he felt was love. A love made from all the good and important moments during his childhood. She had even packed all his things. His life as hers was gone among carbon boxes and papers that changes not just his name but his life forever.

God! What had he done? Emma was great but she didn't know him, she didn't know how to be a mother but most importantly she didn't know how to be Regina. But the pain he brought upon his adoptive mother he would pay by letting her go. He didn't deserve her anyway so why drag her even further down into his failure path?

He got out of shower and went to see the boxes that Emma had brought with her.

When he got downstairs there were not only two but four boxes and David was entering the apartment with what seemed like the last one. The first to acknowledge him was Snow. "Oh hey Henry we were about to call you, Emma got your boxes and David picked the rest of them from the station. Would you like to see them first or to have dinner?"

He eyed the boxes and answered "I would like to open them now if that's ok."

"Yeah kid, everything you want." Well not really because Regina and his old life back would not be in the middle of that. He went to the boxes and sat on the floor.

Box number one and two was filled with the rest of his clothes and shoes. Emma thought she brought it all and they all made a comment on how much he had but it was only half of everything as they could see now. The third one was filled with books and his comic books. He remembers her reading all of those with him every night before bad and on the weekends. The fourth one had his action figures and other toys and board games. Everything he had seen had made him even more guilty and sad but nothing could have prepared him for the last one. The last box was the same size of the others but the grief it brought was ten times bigger.

Pictures, home made movies, school arts and even letters he didn't remembered writing while growing up was filling it and managing to make his life a never ending void of misery. He looked at the pictures, the first album he pulled out being one from what he could guess his fifth anniversary. The house was all decorated of spider man from what he could see and he even had a customized cake. There were so many photos of just the two of them laughing their heads off that he could no longer hold his tears. He missed it all and would never get it back and all of it has his fault and no one else's.

He couldn't keep doing this. He looked around and saw all the grownups watching him with something akin to pity looks and he had enough.

"May I be excused?"

"What about diner Henry?" That was Snow; it was always Snow who would make the most motherly action and not Emma. It was never Emma.

"I lost my appetite. I'll eat something latter." He needed to be alone and he needed it fast. He wanted to beat himself so much for how stupid he has been over the last year.

"Ok." Was the small answer that came from his grandma, he did not dare to look at Emma afraid of what he would find in her eyes. She probably thinks he is betraying her and all the things he made her believe, even if she is not the best parent material she was still his other mom. Or well, now the only one he got and to disappoint her too was too much for him to bear right now.

"Thanks. Could you guys keep the boxes somewhere I could see them after?"

"Definitely kid, nothing in here goes away without your consent." Finally she said something and in her voice he didn't find anger or resentment. He only found support and maybe even sympathy, like they in a way understand each other on some level. Maybe they really did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a review on your way out it means a lot to me.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next chapter I hope you like it.
> 
> English is not my language so apologize for my mistakes.
> 
> Warnings: Drepression
> 
> Don't own ouat.

By the time she made home she was truly exhausted, both physically and mentally. The talk with Emma, the little or better the huge break down with Ruby left her feeling like a weight have been taken from her back but also got her even more confused.

This empty house that once held so happy moments now only serve to bring her down even deeper into her depression. She knew staying here right now would led her to a darker path, she knows no matter where she is she is going to have to fight with her daemons and lose more times than win but to habitat here would make that fight one hundred times worse.

She needed to get away for a few months, but where to? She wanted to go some place she wasn't too comfortable in and that was also not too far from home. Yes, despite of everything and everyone this city will always feel like home. Here was the first place where she could be herself and truly make her own decisions, this is where she held her Savior, Emma may be that for the idiots but to her it was Henry who saved her. He brought light into her life, he showed her she could love and she could let herself be loved. Cora was right love is weakness, but while it lasts it doesn't matter because you fell like the strongest and the luckiest bastard in the world, no make it better, in all the realms. At least this is it how it felt every time her little price called her mom. But it's over and now she is weak, but that kid had mend her and maybe she isn't ready right now to try and love someone else but one day she will. And when that day comes she will not back down or run away from it, she will embrace it.

* * *

The next day she started packing right after breakfast. She had decided on New York City. She went there a few times during the curse but only as a bridge for where she really wanted to go. Big city for big city better party closer to home she used to think, but now a change of routes is just what she is looking for.

Ruby had called right when she was finishing her second bag to check in and to see if she was better. Of course she lied and said yes even though she suspected the wolf didn't believe her. She said she just needed some time alone and a trip was all she wanted but wasn't going to stay away for long.

The ride was really peaceful, not too much traffic or stupid people who don't know how to drive. She picked a hotel with a sweet penthouse and great localization. She was a fucking queen and was loaded. The curse got her here as the one of the richest woman in the state plus all the 28 years of paychecks as mayor, let's just say she had her luxuries in cover.

She had set a date. She would stay away for two months and since two bags wouldn't' do the trick she set out for shopping. What a horrible way to spend a day in the city right? She bought a bit of it all or not a bit a big amount, but what she really went all the way was with lingerie. Very sexy and provocative lingerie.

She was having a great day, occupy her head with this was effective until she decided to have an ice cream. At the shop the first thing she noticed was not all the different types of flavors or how big and well decorated was the place. No, the only thing on her mind was a little boy with brown hair. He must have been around 4 and had his face filled with the treat he was having and for a moment she thought he was alone then she saw or rather heard the kid call out for his daddy with so much love. He resembled Henry only by the hair but just that was enough to bring tears into her eyes. The men's attention was completely on the child. He looked at the kid with a heartful of love, a look Regina was used to give to her little boy. Her little boy who grow up and said he did not love her. The little boy that used her just like all the others.

Yes, some part of her thinks he was lying but that part only says hello once in a lifetime when her depression and self esteem is on check. And it already did this month. So today she does not think of a confused boy who doesn't know about life. Today looking at that family she only thinks of how once again she was alone, how once again nobody loved her enough, how no one cared for her enough but most important how much Cora must be proud of her failure.

She hopped into the first taxi and in her daze to make it fast she almost forgot about her shopping bags. Money and clothes being the last thing on her mind at that time. She was a bomb ready to explode but was only waiting until she was alone to do it. At least she hoped she could wait so much longer. The drive back felt like hours even though it lasted only minutes.

When she got to the hotel she threw the first bill she saw at the driver and all but ran inside cursing herself for picking the penthouse. Too high up the ground to make it so fast. Next time the first floor would have to do.

In her room she went straight to the alcohol. Better numb her before she did something more drastic, not that while drunk she wouldn't think of better or come morning and regret a worse way to alleviate the pain.

Half bottle down one would think but not Regina, right now she only sees half bottle to go. Sitting in the floor by the bed and trying to clear her mind of the voices hunting her, trying to run from herself to break free from this madness surrounding her, grounding her, breaking her.

_Useless. Ugly. Stupid. Pathetic. Not enough, never enough. Dark. Evil. Poppet. Doll._

The voices would never stop. The faces would never fade. The memories would never be just memories. Not when with every step she could feel them and the toll they take on her.

Cora, Leopold, Rumple, Regina.

Yes, Regina is her own worst enemy, the one that held the power to hurt the most. HERSELF. But is she really someone? After all she never had a say in her life. If anyone can call what she had a life? She could never stop the pain. Never prevent it from happening. They were right she is useless. She can't even safe herself. She can't kill herself and end the misery. She can't make the pain go away. She can't. Never could. Not on her own. She always needed love, just wanted love. Why couldn't they give her that? It wasn't much to ask. She just wanted to be seen. She just wanted to be.

PAIN

The kind of pain that felt like the world was crashing right into her chest.

DESESPERATION

To have your body convulses in need of oxygen but never take a breath.

DIZZINESS

Lose once again control of herself, her body going limp and powerless. To lay in the cold floor begging for help, for someone or anyone notice it.

ACCEPTACE

Let go of everything. Let the pain consume your soul. Understand that this is who you are and who you will always be. Weak and not important.

BLACKNESS

Freedom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a review so I can know what you guys think xx


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Off we go to the next one.
> 
> English is not my language so apologize for any mistake.
> 
> Don't own ouat.

Her vision was blurred, her head was pounding and she was disorientated. It has been a while since this happened. Her own body would shot down to keep her from falling over the edge. She remembers the raging thoughts swirling in her mind, the control slipping out of her hands and the pure panic from herself. She was in aching, the muscles in back hurting from her perilously position on the floor. She looked at the window it was dark. She got around four so she must have been passed out for a quite some time. She could only hope it hasn't been days. That happened before but only in a much worse situation when booze was not the only substance in her system.

She went to the bathroom took off her clothes and jumped in a cold shower. That would wake her and her system up. She found out while freezing beneath the water that she was hungry and it was then that she could tell the time. She was used to starvation and the symptoms it would bring. For the first five hours without food she would only get a head ache. From 5 to 9 her mind would get fuzzy and she could notice the first's signs of hand tremors. From hour 9 to 15 the dizziness would make her appearance along with blackouts and body weakness. By then not only her hand would shake but her whole body. She could gravitate from consciousness and not and loss of her body reflections if she stayed much longer without it. She never stayed more than a whole day without it. That was never one of hers, Cora's or even Leopold's tactics for punishments. Right now she only felt like there was a hole in her stomach and her hand was failing her commands so it must be sometime around ten.

She got out pulled a robe on her body and went for her phone. 10:48 it reads well she almost got it right but one thing she knew for sure: she needed food. She also knew staying alone in this empty room was not the idea of the century. She put some dark skinny jeans on a black T-shirt and a royal blue blazer fixed a light makeup and left her hair to dry on its own.

There was a dinner around the corner and it would just have to do. Inside the place was actually pretty clean and the food people were having looked eatable so why the hell not. She sat at an empty booth thinking no one would want to disturb her but she got it wrong. Oh so wrong. A man. Brunette, deep penetrating brown eyes and a breath taking smile. He was tall with broad shoulders and big muscular arms hidden under a red polo shirt and light blue faded jeans with brown boat shoes to complete his look.

"I saw you here and found that I believe a beautiful woman like you should never eat alone. Would you mind if I accompany you?" Rich and deep voice echoing in her mind like the sweetest music ever made and it left het thinking that maybe some company would not be so bad after all.

"What made you believe I was alone?"

"You have that look in your eyes. Quite beautiful ones by the way."

"What look?"

"The same one I believe I have. One that tells you're looking for something to fill a void. Am I wrong?"

"No."

"Maybe we could help each other while eating? I'm Josh."

"Maybe we could. I'm Regina."

There was something in his eyes. Something that made her believe he was telling the truth, that he really had his own void and was looking for a way to close it.

The waiter came and took their orders. They both decided on a hamburger with fries and soda. The wait for the food felt like nonexistence because they were talking so easily that didn't realize it. He was easy going and smart but held a darker look into those orbs. A look Regina could identify.

The food was actually good or perhaps the company made it better. It has been so long since some stranger could make her feel this good. They were pretty much alike; she noticed it during the talk. He could make some mean jokes and show how much he knew about the world at the same time. He had money or had been very well educated, she could tell by his style and pose. The conversation remained on safe topics nothing too strong like the beginning. They talked about trips and jobs and what they like to do in their free time.

"Would you like to come with me to a bar?" He was bold and mysterious and everything she liked in a men. But what really got her going was this feeling she was having. Not the love of first sight bullshit the Charmings would say because lest face it she is more of a lust at first sight kind of woman. No, what she was experiencing was something akin to recognition. As if they were truly equal in a deeper way. It was like his inside was a powerful as hers. Almost like he was magic in its true form just like she is. As if him just like her was a seductive and dangerous vessel. His affect on her the same as hers on him, a hypnotizing and consuming want.

The lust game being her most addicted drug and the high it brought already making her fuzzy was what got the queen to accept it. A smirk and a raise of eyebrow was her first response. She was daring him to back down and to show weakness but he passed her test with flying colors when he have her back the same kind of winning smirk.

"I would like nothing more." She said as sensual as she ever could.

He got up paid their bill and escorted her out saying an "After you" while opening the door and making way for her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a review so I can know what you think.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so here is the next one. This one is a bit bigger.
> 
> So just to set things straight if you did not got it so far. Regina has magic outside of storybroke because it just seems dumb to me that everyone does except her and Gold. The name of Josh's home land was created in a website that generates them called namegenerator.biz because my imagination was lacking.
> 
> This chapter contain sexual activities
> 
> English is not my language so forgive me any mistakes.
> 
> Don't own ouat.

He was taking her to some place horrible and that was the only thing on her mind while the taxi driver drove them around town. Not much around town anymore because it looked like they were in another city all along.

"Where are we going again?"

He laughed. "To a bar. Relax; you are going to like where we are headed and we are almost there but if you don't like it we'll leave."

He said with conviction enough to make her believe. She wasn't scared. No she had gone down too many roads in her life to be afraid of some crappy neighborhood she just hated not knowing for sure where she was going. The car stopped in this big warehouse in the middle of nowhere.

"We're here." Was all he said as he paid the man got out of the vehicle made a turn an opened the door for her. She was on the edge by now but at least better be uncertain and feeling the rush of something new then knowing for sure that if she had declined she would be alone with her thoughts in the hotel. Since that was proving to be a bad thing these days here she is.

They made their way to a door and there was four huge guys standing by. Josh didn't need to say anything to them and they were already permitting entry. Connections, she loves a person with those things.

The place was bigger than she expected and was filled to the brim with all the possible types of people. There was a stage with live music, loud and heavy music. A apace for dancing in front of it, a bar that went to the whole extension of one of the walls and in the end a bunch of ordinary yet comfortable looking tables. Yes, she was hesitating a little at first thinking she would hate it here but no this place is so her, so perfect and she loved it.

"Wait 'till you see the rest." It was like he could hear her thoughts. She smiled at him. "Show me the way then. As they walked through the crowd she could really feel the strong vibe rolling like waves out of the dancing group. It was contagious and she was addicted. Like she was not addicted to too many things already. Well fuck, who really cares anyway. They were going to the bar or at least that is what it seemed.

"Would you like a drink?" So she was right after all.

"A whiskey would be nice."

"Ok"

As soon as one of the bartenders saw them or rather saw Josh he came straight away to take the orders and her drink was in her hand in an instant.

"Well the service here is really good."

"Or they just don't want to leave the owner waiting and get fired." He responded with a smug and amused expression.

He was the owner so now everything makes sense. "Yeah, or that." She finished her drink never leaving eye contact and while she put her cup on the counter she licked her lips oh so slowly. His grip on her waist tightens and she knew she had him. As she looked down her cup was once again full. The perks of being with the owner she thinks while taking it for another long sip.

"Do you want to dance?" He asked when the song that was playing just ended and was starting a new one. The band was great. Had great vocal and played perfectly. The next song was 'Do I want to know' by the Arctic Monkeys and she just loved it. The queen did not say anything back only finished her drink and pushed him by the hand to the dance floor.

People were drunk and their inhibitions have long said its goodbyes. It was hard to tell where one ended and where the other began but that only made it better. She picked a spot right at the beginning of the music bridge. She had her back to him now and was letting herself go gridding her ass on him and feeling how he was enjoying it. His big strong hands turned her and kissed her with fire. His taste in her mouth and the passion behind the kiss was strong enough to activate her magic. When they opened their eyes hers where a bit purple from the amount of magic and power now running in her veins and his were light grey. She knew it. He had magic and knowing for sure only made her hotter. With a wink she turned back around and continued to dance. If he wanted to say something it died in his throat the second she put her arms around his neck and arched her back letting herself be taken by the beat. They remained there for more five songs intercalating between kissing and dancing until Regina had enough. "Let's sit and drink some more." She purred in his ear and then bit it. With a firm grip on her, never demanding only leading they got to a table that had just been cleared.

"Where are you from?" That was the first thing he asked. She smirked at that. She could tell he had been surprised that he could not feel her magic before.

"I'm from the Enchanted Forest. What about you?" Her answer only made him more stunned. She chuckled. "Surprised?"

"I thought the queen had brought everyone to another world."

So he knew about her. Interesting. "Yes she did. But what about you, where are you from?"

"Sorry I just got excited with your answer. I'm from Rhendalin, it's a far land."

"I heard about it but never went there unfortunately. But you can ask the real question you know." He was dying to know why he hadn't felt her magic and it was amusing really.

"How come I had not felt you? Your magic I mean."

"Simple. I blocked it."

"You blocked your magic from another user? Who the hell are you? That is seriously stuff." His jaw was so down on the ground Regina was afraid someone could trip over it and fall face down onto the floor. Hilarious, simply and utterly hilarious.

"I'm Regina, and that is not that hard. You could do it too with enough training. You are quite powerful, did you know that?"

"Yes I did, a little anyway. I have not done much for in my land there were only few users and none really wanted to teach me. And doing it alone and by books was not my thing. But I did read a little and in one of those book I saw something about blocking your magic trace and if I remember correctly it said only very few and powerful wielders could do it. You are the queen aren't you?"

"Funny how you only say queen and not the whole thing." That is what was bothering her. Why was he so calm about this? Surely a sane person would run to the hills by now. But not him. No, he was still looking at her with admiration and even more want. As if it was possible.

"So you have killed and tortured and whatever else, so have I and every other noble once in their life or any one facing bad times. The only difference you did it yourself which is hot by the way."

"I like the way you think Josh. But tell me how you ended up here as owner of a club."

"I needed an out. That place was only driving me crazier so I took everything and left. Being king is pretty much being a business man and since I've always loved to dance; making a living out of a club was only obvious. But now that we really know each other why don't we have some real fun?"

Those eyes of his were cutting into her soul and driving her insane with the kind of madness she has always welcomed. If she was game before, now knowing he did not care about her past only made her want him more.

"What do you have in mind?" Just the worlds he was hoping to hear it would seem as glint in his eyes gave him away.

"Come."

He led them throughout the bar to a staircase. Upstairs and hopefully to a bedroom or somewhere he could fuck the life out of her. The space wasn't grand or anything, the room was the size of a regular living room with plain walls and low light and music. There were people around the room. A couch in the middle of the room was being used as support for two naked women having their way with each other. There was a lounge chair right in its side with a man and a woman watching the show. On the left side there were a small bar and three people talking like nothing was happening and the moans were part of the music. You could see silhouettes spread all over room near the walls and Regina counted seven. Two guys having a pretty heated 'conversation', a woman giving a blowjob to some dude, and what looked like three friends talking.

Josh was paying attention to her every move as if he was afraid she would get scared by anything. If only he knew this kind of things was of daily occurrences at the castle and the strong stuff she had participated could not even compare to this. For Regina this was even easier than a walk in the park for her felt normal like brushing your teeth before bed.

They walked to a locked door in the end of the room that led to a hall with three more doors. After they got in Josh once again locked the door. If the room before was VIP this one was owner only.

"I'm the only one with the key to this place. No one will bother us here. He speaks in a way that sends alarming bells in her mind. This man will be her undoing she just know it. Second door to right they go in, this time to a real bedroom. Big luxurious bed, a big enough closet and a door that most definitely leas to the bathroom.

He closes the door after he got in and pushes her to him and kisses her. Strong and demanding. A thud and he got her pined to the wall. Hands roaming, feeling, groping. She moves first and takes his shirt off leaving strong abs to her delight. Soft hands scratching strong back and moving down to squeeze perfect jeans clad ass. Her jacket is long by now and he is pushing her shirt and bra in one move. Leaving both of them naked to the waist up. He kisses his way to her breasts while he works the button and zipper of her pants. Regina takes her shoes off with her feet and removes her jeans along with her panties. Growing tired of waiting with a flick of her hands he is as naked as her. He jumps at the feeling of skin on skin.

"You cheated." Surprise was clear in his voice. He is not used to someone else use magic.

"Fuck me."

"Condoms are in the nightstand."

Amateur, another flick of wrist and they are ready to go. Noticing what happened he laughs. "Your wish is my command." He picks her up and gets his grip right so one of his hands is free to adjust himself inside her. He slides in with almost no difficulty, walls accommodating him in the most delicious way possible.

The only sounds in the room being moans, grunts and flesh hitting flesh. They are kissing like the world would end as Josh's thrusts became harder and faster fucking her just like she needed. When he fixes his grip on her thigh and pushes her impossibly closer to wall the angle is suddenly perfect and too much. Every stroke hitting her just right, she can feel herself closing around him. Her mind going fuzzy and her release so sudden she did not see it coming. She screamed, closing her hand on his back no doubt leaving red marks maybe even cutting through skin. He never stops; only continues his movements making it harder to breathe. One, two, three, four more times he slams himself into her and she can feel the way his muscles are tensing and he is trembling. One moment she believes he may drop her but that never happened and if he had is not like her legs could function right now either. A strangled fuck leaves his mouth as he drops his head where shoulder meets neck.

He is spent. They are spent. He takes her to the bed and drops her there. He then removes the used condom and heads to the bathroom to toss it away.

When he comes back she is supporting her weight on her arms and smirking at him. That sexy smile combined with her glorious naked body makes him not tired anymore. Like at all.

* * *

The next day she wakes up with a head ache but nothing that a healing spell can't fix. She grabs her clothes that are spread around the floor by the door where they left them and takes a quick bath. When she leaves the bathroom Josh is sitting in the bed waiting for her.

"Good morning." She says.

"Morning. I thought you left me here alone and didn't even give me your number. I was wounded." He had that player smile in his lips the whole time.

"Nope, still here. Though I'm hungry and off to eat."

"Well if you recall you are in the middle of nothing so why don't we have breakfast here and then I take you back to civilization?"

"You have a kitchen here?"

"Yep, so what do you say?"

"Fine." He was alright and proved to be a good distraction. Maybe keep him around for a while would not be so bad. She would sure need one now that the 'D day' is coming closer. Only one week and a half away and to face that awful day (at least now, and at least for her) and to face it alone would sure have some catastrophic repercussions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was it. Do you guys prefer the smaller ones or the size of this one? Let me know what you think xx


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is the next one. 
> 
> Warnings: Drug, self harm, mention of abuse
> 
> English is not my language so forgive me my mistakes.

The week flew by her. After Josh brought her home that day she decided she should get to know the city. She went all over, some places out of suggestions from people she would meet along the way, other ones from an app she had in her phone. But the place she went the most was an equestrian center on the edge of town where she rode and took care of a few horses.

No matter where she was Daniel would always come to her mind. To Regina it was painful to be near the horses most of the times, but it was worth it because they give her the kind of calmness no place nor other human being could provide. Well no, that is a lie. There is someone who could solve all of her problems and make her life feel like heaven the only catch being his new found resentment and anger towards her. Regina's presence in his life represents nothing more than a rock in the middle of the road. It's pathetic to be honest. She is pathetic to be honest. To think she would give her life for a kid that would toss her away like he did. Isn't that the story of her life? The woman could count in one hand the ones that really cared for her and never once doubt or hurt her. Just to make things a bit more clear they would not even fill that whole hand. So as always the fact speaks for themselves.

More times than she like to admit she caught herself thinking she was eighteen again and could find solace in her stable boy. The smell and the scenery so alike her childhood home it made memories buried deep inside her wounded and blackened heart come to the surface. Daniel was not just a guy to occupy her silly princess most idiotic and shallow desires. No, he was her everything.

He was the first and probably the only one that ever completely saw her. In his eyes she could see a brand new world. A world where she was enough, where being herself was enough to someone and nothing else matter. In his arms she could feel safe even though she had fresh made marks down her body that showed just how she was everything but that living in that hell hole she had to call home. His kisses like promises of a good life, a life filled with happiness and love. Her Daniel was love in every sense of the word.

She may have drunk, used a little something and fucked random people at night (or was it day? Did it even matter?) Josh made his way in the list two times; one being dinner fallowed by a quick fuck in the restaurant bathroom and the other was a tour to the Statue of Liberty and his apartment. But all of it was not enough, for her nothing could be enough to truly kill or numb the pain. Enough. Might seem just a regular word to a normal woman but to her that word is her world, her undoing, her mistake and her belief.

There was not any triggers that made her do something more drastic but she was sad all the time. Her brain making turns over and over to that sweet little boy she could no longer call hers. At first she thought of the not so good moments, those happened only after that bitch gave him that dammed book. As she grows angry she also gets afraid of the repercussions that emotion could cause knowing her psychological was not in a good place. The next move was to reminisce about the good ones and they were many. So she replayed their happy moments in her head.

Memories rolling before her eyes so perfectly it was like watching a movie. She focused on how he used to look at her like she held the moon and all the times he called her mom or got home with something he had made at school for her. But that only served to drag her even further down into her depression. To remember the good times and know she would never have it again was like being stabbed in the guts over and over again. And she would know how being in the cutting end of a dagger felt like.

That sick bastard made sure to leave his scars. People look at her and can only see a beautiful body. But she knows better. She can look pass those healing spells casted upon her to see and even feel all the scars that filled her whole flesh and soul. There was many and she could not even count or remember how every single one was inflicted though she had a locked space in her brain for the worse ones. The ones she still dreams about it. Those she can even remember her heart beating like wild, the pain weakening her bones, her skin cutting open, blood dripping from her mere existence, the tears begging to be released and her pride fighting to keep them at bay. Yes, those things she can never forget.

In two days is Henry birthday. Ever since he was born she celebrated every one. They had some sort of tradition and it was so good. Yes, it was not hers for the date to matter so much but hers never really matter at all so to her it was usual. What made the pure happiness come out is the fact her little boy was having fun. Growing up she had balls and nobles coming or her but that never held any meaning. She wanted a mother to wake her up with a good morning kiss and wish her happy anniversary and not a party designed to help Cora sell her to the man with the higher social status once she was at age.

But every year she would give Henry everything she never had. She would spend the night baking him a cake after he went to bed (Ruby would always come by and help), wake up early and prepare the biggest breakfast ever, go to his room with arms filled with presents and wake him with kisses and hugs. He never went to school on his birthdays a treat allowed only in those special occasions. By noon they would have lunch at the dinner with Granny and Ruby and in the evening she would plan a party for him with all his friends and the adults she was friendly with. Before bed she would tell him a story and sleep cuddling in her big bed. For her nothing mattered more than those times. Memories of bliss and happiness created by loving him with every cell in her body and helpfully showing to him just how much he was more important than the air he inhaled to keep her body functioning. She gave him her all always, but on those days she always managed to give more. Something mothers do all the time and are more often than not taken for granted.

But this year there was no boy to woo, no cake to bake, no one to hold, no one to love. She feels his absence with every breath and fears that when the date comes that absence would make her lungs give in and stop trying to keep her alive.

Tonight she gets home takes two sleeping pills and blacks out on the bed. Morning comes she goes out, she occupies every millisecond in her day to keep herself from thinking. By night fall she gives up. She needs more. She calls Josh and he comes over. She drinks, and dances to the loud music surrounding her room, she uses something called 'lpied' a drug made in wonderland ,one strong enough to numb her and transform every cell in her body in vibrating madness. She tingles everywhere like little convulsions blazing through and making her week to the knees. She is free or rather locked in a blue room somewhere in her mind. A place where everything is light and not darkness, simple and not complicated, good and not horrible, happy and not suicidal.

When she wakes up the next day Josh is sleeping naked near her. She traces the lines of his body, strong and perfect lines. Her body is awakening but not her mind, and she remains there oblivious to the truth, to what she will endure today. Her mouth tastes bitter and she remembers the drug and the alcohol what she does not remember is why she used it. She can't seem to fathom it like her own mind is purposely blocking it from her. She believes she is in her mansion back in Storybroke, her vision not having connected all the dots yet; the drug would do that make you fuzzy even after a night's sleep. She is calm though but that is only until her head clears and she breaks.

Today. He is eleven today and she is not there. He does not wish for her to be and never will. Does he miss her? 'Of course not' Cora screams and laughs somewhere. This room is not her place. This life is not what she wants.

The walls are closing in. She needs to leave, so she does it by running out of bed. Movements not making her bedmate stir and that is better. She does not wish to be seen like this. No, never like this. Still naked she makes to the bathroom. She needs to sit because her legs can't carry her weight for no more than a bit of her racing heart. She goes for the tub. Shame consuming her whole with the memories of what she did last in one of these. She is dirty. She needs to feel clean again. The pain and the shame clinging to her body like mud and she sees them. She looks down into her body, this ugly skin of hers. This cape that keeps the world from the monster she truly is and how she truly looks like.

She fills the tub with freezing water for she believes to deserve the pain. Cleaning her rotting skin with enough force to flay every millimeter of it; leaving angry red increasing in size marks with every raged movement. So caught up she didn't notice Josh approach or the hitch in his breath by the horror show she was providing. She only realized the second his hands made contact with burning heated skin.

"Stop for the love of God Regina!" He was panicking, the sound of his voice echoing so different in her ears. Right now no longer his usual smooth and sensual only a trembling week one. "What is wrong?" She could not speak too stuck in her own panic attack for getting caught and with tears threatening to fall at any given minute to let her formulate words. "It's ok; call down please it's going to be ok. You're ok. I'm here"

He was soaked and shivering but so was she and right now she is the one that matters. He gets up with Regina grabbing him for dear life and leads them to the bed. After covering her and shielding her from the cold air he continues to hold her until she is calm enough to let her body truly give into the warmth he is offering and cry her demons away.

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_Drop a review so I can know your thoughts :D_


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is the next one. This one have three diferrents pov and I hope they don't make you guys confused.
> 
> Warnings: mentions of self harm and sex.

He wakes up nice and slowly. Memories of the night before swirling in his mind; Regina's fluid movements in the dark, hips seducing him as they sway to the song, her glorious naked body trapping him in the bed, her strong legs straddling his waist as she rode them both to climax.

She was a mystery; dark on the outside but with so much lightness waiting, hopping, trying to burst out. He knew she was The Evil Queen but from his view she is just a woman misunderstood. She haven't told him her story yet, every moments they spent used on jokes and funny stories but he hoped someday she would come clean.

He was hard and needed her so he reaches out to her side but find it empty. Odd, with the amount of booze she drank and the stuff she used she should be still passed out. He hears the water filling something and he hopes is the tub and hell the thought about fucking her in there making him harder to a point he thought he could explode. He goes to the bathroom and imagines seeing his goddess lying there with her perfects breasts showing above the water line but the reality struck him hard.

Regina is in the tub alright but with both her arms red he believes is where she started whatever this is. Right now she is in her belly, she scrubs the flesh there with such force it scares him. It's like she is trying to remove some kind of stain the only problem is there is none. She is clean and perfect. Some may see with this a broken woman but not Josh, he only sees someone lost and at need but never broken. He should have guessed well he did in a way. That day at the dinner she had a lost look painting her gorgeous face. He had his own demons so when he saw her he identified with every inch of her or so he thought. They do say the ones that are so good at hiding this kind of actions are the ones who represent more danger to themselves so he now wanders how many more times she came to this as a relief mechanism or how much worse she got. But most important, was there even anyone to push her up on her feet again? He believes not.

This is too much and this he had not known to expect. He knows so little of her true self but what he does is enough to make his heart break. His feelings of care and protection for her so strong it threw him out of his element for a bit. But he gets his shit together and wishes, begs to whatever god there is out there that this view is not true only a nightmare. But with a blink comes realization and with another one he moves. He goes for the tub and positions himself behind her. Cradling her and stopping the movement from her hands. The water is freezing and he wonders if this is another way of punishment. He says to her that is ok and asks what is wrong but she seems to be in a trance. Her whole body is shivering and to be honest so is he but that is unimportant right now. Her safety the only thing in his mind so he gets up with a queen holding onto him as if her life depended on it and heads to the bed. He deposits her still wet body beneath the duvet and holds her wishing he could take her pain away. After a while her body is less tense and he assumes her shock must be wearing out. Minutes later her body is shaking but this time not for lack of warmth but from the heart breaking sobs leaving her mouth.

* * *

She is mortified of the fact he had seen her like this but at least he stayed, he kept holding her still naked body and whispering sweet nothings to her once the shock ran out and the tears began to flow. She knows now she must tell him something to explain what happened he just hopes he does not leaves her after it. Yes, he knows who she used to be but he must not know or completely grasp the whole story.

"Good morning" That is the first thing out of her mouth. What else there was to say she wanders.

"Good morning." His voice is stable now, no longer in fear for her or whatever passed his mind then. "Are you ok?" He is talking in an unnatural calmness as if afraid of her response.

"Better now, thanks." She is still lying there with her head resting on top of his chest listening to his heartbeat.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Does she? "Yes." So she starts. She tells him everything about Daniel, all there was to know about Snow and her pursuit or revenge. Cora, Leopold, Rumple and herself she only covers the superficies; never once telling what they put her through and what she did to try and end the pain and her life. She explains the Dark Curse and its effects and for last she talks about Henry. She say how from the first moment she held him she loved him, how she knew whose kid he was but she couldn't give him up, she gave details on their routines and life and called Josh the night before.

"Would you like if I told you about this morning?" Her voice is small, small just like she is right now striped from her armor.

"Do you?"

"No, but I think I should. I think it would help." She trusts him, for some reason unknown even to her she does.

"Ok." He does not move, he does not push her to speak. He only combs her head with his fingers and waits.

A deep breath and she begins. "I didn't want to do it. I called you in hopes I would be able to control myself. I've done that before, not just the thing in the tub but to hurt myself in moments o despair. When one is so much deep into the darkness like I was, like I still am is easy to lose yourself. I started losing it when I was still young. With time and the ever increasing anger in me I came too far. For a while I thought I was free from that entire bullshit but as you can see I was wrong. The first signs of my slip came when Henry became more hostile towards me. I was ill of me to put so much weight on the boy but it never crossed my mind that he would leave one day. I can't tell you the reasons exactly why I did that this morning I can only try to explain briefly what was on my head. I myself don't really know. When I woke it took a while to realize what day it was but when I did I panicked. The bathroom was the first way out to hide from your view; I didn't want you to see how pathetic I am but that didn't work either. Sitting in that tub I felt horrible and for some reason something inside me believed I could wash all of it away. It is wrong and when I'm in a conscious state of mind like now I can understand it; but you can't really do any good decisions when all you see is pain, despair, shame and hurt and feel undeserving of the air coming in and out of your nose."

Big words and truths coming out of her mouth but she needed it. It hurts to say it but it hurts more to let them because they'll eat you from inside out. She expected some sort of reply from Josh, calling her a freak or giving her pitiful looks. She got none, she only got arms holding her tighter than before and a kiss to her forehead.

"Are you hungry?" She laughed. Rich music to his ears just what he wanted. "We can keep talking if you wish though I would assume you don't. What you just told me is your story and your life; I am honored that you chose to say those things but it is not up to me to say anything back to that. I can only stay here with you for as long as you want or need me to and make sure you are alright." His eyes holding so much care, every world coming from his lips like sugar and giving her stability she hopelessly needs. She does not answer she only kisses his mouth.

"So food it is. Come on and get up or I'm making you my food."

* * *

**The day before in Storybrooke**

She was all over the place. Ever since Regina gave her Henry's custody she could not get a moment of piece. The kid has been acting strange, for anyone else he seemed fine but she had lived with him for a while and had spent enough time to know all the smiles he was giving her were false and forced. She could not blame him for the grief; he did lose his mother but in a way it was his fault. Yeah they are the adults, her parents and herself but never once he had said he wanted Regina quite the contrary in fact. Every chance he got he would say how he did not want her or anything to do with her. The truth is they were here now and there was no one to blame for the situation but them self's, they definitely could not put the blame on the Regina. She fought for him and only gave up when she thought she was hurting her son.

But she could not go there again. Regina's actions and her mother's words are consuming here very thought. Nothing made sense to her after it, not that she had come to terms with the whole fairytale people being real thing.

"Hi Ruby." She was hungry and sticking up for breakfast with her fake perfect family was not going to cut. That is why she said she had to go on sheriff duties; duties that lay between pancakes and a huge dose of coffee.

"Emma. What can I get you?" Ruby was treating her different now and she really didn't know why.

"My usual would be nice, please." She said while giving the werewolf confused look. She looked at the clock and realized this is the time Regina comes by and gets her coffee as well, good opportunity to see her she thought. The last time she saw the queen was that day in the station and the woman looked awful and sick and she was actually a little worried.

She ate her food as slowly as she could hopping to get a hold of the so called 'Evil Queen' but the clock tick several times, her food was over and Regina never showed. 'Maybe she came earlier' she thought to herself. She went to the counter to pay her bill and figured asking Ruby could have no harm.

"Ruby have you seen Regina around?" When the she turned she looked ready to kill and the savior swore the girl's eyes turned black for a while.

"Why?" Her voice was tight and low. Creep and scary. Shit!

"Haven't seen her around and got worried." She shrugged it off as she spoke but that was a wrong thing to say apparently. The wolf girl got even angrier. Odd. What did she have to do with Regina anyway?

"Oh! You mean since she had to give the son she raised to the woman who abandoned him and knows close to nothing about parenting? No, I also haven't seen her either." Ok now that does not make sense. Nobody knows this besides the Charmings.

"How do know that? And what is it with you? Why would you say this to me?"

"How I know it is none of your business. And you and I both know that nothing said here is a lie. So why don't you get down from your high horse and get your shit together. You may be a princess but you're no better than me. Plus all your arrogance is making me angry so stop playing coy with me. What do you want with Regina? Haven't you done enough?"

How dare she? None of this was right, no actually it was but it's one thing for her mind to admit it another one is to have a real person throwing in her face like this. "What do you even know about this?"

"What do I know? Everything! I saw the kid grow up, I saw how much he was that woman's world, I know her life and the shit she went through because of your mother and now you. So I know enough to stand for her so do us both a favor and cut the crap. It's you and the mighty Charmings who knows nothing and needs to understand neither of you are special."

To say Emma was stunned was an understatement. Was not Ruby supposed to be her mother's best friend? How did she know about Regina's life? Why was she present in Henry's one? Are they friends? They must be right? It must have been Regina who told her what happened. But no matter what she knew Ruby was right, she had hurt the woman enough and so did her parents. She just wished she knew the whole story.

"I wasn't going to hurt her. I really was worried Rubs." She hopped her friend (at least Emma saw her like that) could see the honesty in her eyes. "And I'm sorry about it all."

Ruby seemed to be considering and after a minute of both of them looking in each other eyes Emma saw the girl's eyes began to soften.

"She went on a trip."

"What?" She must have heard wrong. Regina is out of town? Can she even do that?

"She said she needed some time. She went the day after you guys talked and she haven't called yet. I'm worried for her."

"Ok Rubs is not like she can't handle herself. She has a mean punch. I would know."

"I don't worry about what the other people may do to her. That is so not the issue." The last part was almost whisper but Emma heard it anyway.

"What?" No Regina was strong; she would never do those kinds of things to herself. Right? Ruby never answered her with words but her eyes said it all. Said what she didn't want to be the truth. As the wolf went to take other orders Emma remained frozen in her spot she just couldn't believe it. What if…

No she couldn't to go there. Unfortunately it was too late now. Her mind was now really over the edge, she could not stand her doubts and fears for the woman she was told to hate. Her mind so full she doesn't even registries what day is today. Or what day tomorrow is.

Before she came to Storybrooke she had no reason to remember it. She avoided it every time, her mind blocking the memories of this day on its own. But now the boy she gave away was here and this year she should remember the date. Too bad she never did.

* * *

 

_So tell me your thoughts. Next one we will have Henry's pov, what do you think is going to be like?_


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is only from Henry's pov. Hope you guys like it

His life was hell. He thought living with his birth mother would make him happy but he was wrong. He loves Emma and his grandparents but none of them really knows him. The one that comes closer to be familiar of what a growing boy needs is Snow but only because she is his teacher and if that woman can't work her way around a kid hell is ready to break lose.

Even so he feels lost in that house, a house that is too small, too crowed and most definitely not his. He revisited the old photo albums of his childhood every night before sleep, all the good memories he had with who he came to be certain now was his real mother. He smiled and acted like everything was normal and this life is all he wished for. He was pretending he did not miss Regina and everything she did and represented to him. Last night he slept with a dread filled chest not knowing what to expect from the next day. He knew he would miss her the most then and could do nothing to help it.

When he woke up he half expected to be with the smell of all the delicious food the queen would always bake him or see her crossing the door with a bunch of things he did not need but that he wanted either way. What he got was only the sight of Emma's messy bed and Snow yelling for him to get up and get ready. 'Maybe they are waiting for me to get down after a shower to acknowledge the date' he thought. A well played prank but once again he was wrong. Down stairs was the usual breakfast table set for four and every one treated him like nothing could be out of the ordinary. Sneak little people they are; probably playing him around and latter he would get a party but the best part was he was so smart he had already found out about it.

Snow actually made him go to school and even acted all normal; well weren't they all good actors. After class she didn't take him to Granny's as he thought. No, they went straight home and he found it odd because the flat was not big enough to hold too many people or do something big like Regina always did; he guessed maybe it was because they didn't have all the money at the time and that was okay he didn't need a big event he only wanted to be acknowledged.

He did his homework finding hard to remain oblivious to the prank he was being played. Dinner came and with that the voice in his head telling him that this was not a joke, that they had really forgotten his birthday grow bigger and bigger.

It was seven and half and he was getting ready to bed now knowing for sure he was not even special enough to be remembered by no one. David he could let off the hook he was in a coma but Snow and Emma? That did not make sense to him. What hurt him the most was to know Regina would have remembered, she never let him down, but he had made the one who loved him the most feel undeserving and unloved. He had screamed hate words to an Evil Queen he never met. He came to the conclusion he was the evil one. Tears were falling helplessly down his face and mixing with the hot shower water. He had finally broken down and he knew he deserved it all he was going through for being an ungrateful brat. The warm water ran out and only for not handling the pain from the cold one he turned it off and decided to call it a day. A day filled with hurt and self blaming. Now dressed he only had to go to his bed and pray that sleep comes fast. Well not his bed. Never his real bed again.

As he opened the bathroom door he heard yells. Yells that appeared to be from Ruby. What was she doing here? For one minute his brain let go of fear and hoped this was it, they didn't forget him.

"You people are unbelievable!"

"Stop yelling please." That was Snow.

"Why so you can keep up pretending to be the perfect example of a perfect family? Is that why?" Never in his life he had heard or seen Ruby so upset and just when he thought she was done she kept on going, screaming from the top of her lungs.

"You took him away from his real mother claiming she was not parental material, that her presence in his life was a bad influence and blablabla but you the OH! so perfect ones could not even remember one fucking date?" His hopes of miss judging the reason for the fight finally crashed along with a vase the wolf threw at the wall. Better that then someone he thought bitterly to himself. But she was right to be like this. They painted to him the perfect family portrait and failed to deliver it. When he took courage and turned around into the staircase the scene he saw in the living room from where he was standing could be considered comic if was happening to someone not involved in it.

David and Snow looked like a two dears caught by the hunter. Small and teary eyed like the world was an evil land and was after them only because they were pretty and well 'charming'. Ruby was obviously said hunter; she seemed taller, her voice thicker, nostrils opened and wide now black eyes scanning the room just like an eagle. Emma was something completely different, her face and body language showed signs of shame, guilt and despair. Granny was the face of calmness; acting like someone who was only watching the show and not finding anything interesting to add to the drama. She was just sitting in her chair holding what he hopes is his favorite cake in her lap and not saying anything. So as normal the gray haired woman was the first one in the group to see him and make a surprised sound.

Gasps followed after hers. Snow and Charming made them in union; Ruby only looked at him with pitying eyes and Emma. Well she just stared at him like someone just shot her. She was trying to hold herself together and he could tell by far, there was so much shame and self hate rolling out of her that made him a bit worried and had his doubts of her love and devotion to him living his mind.

Granny was the first to make a move. She got up from her comfortable position put the cake in the table and went to hug the boy whispering 'happy anniversary' between kisses.

The first contact of arms with his skin made him want to break down once again from lack of love only this time for everyone to see it. But after years of watching Regina push away her most personal feelings from prying eyes the kid learned a few tricks and was successful in doing the same. The only evidence left was the tremor in his small and broken voice. "Thank you."

Ruby came next almost suffocating him in a tight embrace. "We made your cake. The one your mom bakes you. But, even though I and Granny made our best efforts I don't believe it is all that good or even remotely a good as hers. Sorry." That is ridiculous right? She didn't forget him and yet was making excuses for her lack of perfect baking skills.

"It's okay Rubs. I'm sure it is delicious either way."

As he made way to grab the cake both his grandparents awkwardly said 'Happy Birthday' and 'Sorry' as they gave him a three way hug. Not knowing how to act Henry just went along and hugged them back even if he wasn't feeling like it. The thing must have occurred for ten seconds maximum but to him was like an eternity had passed.

He made eye contact with his blond mother and seeing that out of guilty she probably was not going to make a move thinking of herself as undeserving the now eleven year old boy went to her and the moment he was at arm's length the woman he believed to be strong broke down before his young eyes. She kept saying 'sorry' over and over, holding him tight enough he could feel the tremors coming from her body because of her cries. Not knowing what to do or how to act he let his body guide him into the right move. Move that only was pressing her harder against his little arms and whisper 'it's okay' back.

When Emma calmed down they all set down on the table to cut the cake. They ate in relative silent with a still angry Ruby. The cake was not as good as the one Regina baked him that was true but is was still pretty good and every one congratulated the wolf. As the food was over he got two presents, a comic con from the waiter and a new real book from Granny. It was already late in the night so the guests went home.

While saying their goodbyes he noticed Ruby's eyes shine with fresh made tears and when he got his last hug from her he also got a promise of never being alone and was offered a place to stay whenever he felt like he needed space. She had always treated him so well and after how fierce he saw her defending Regina and saying harsh words to the Charmings he started to wander if maybe the wolf's presence in his life had less to do with him and more with his adoptive mother.

When there was only 4 again in the apartment Snow and Charming once again apologized to him and went to bed as fast as their legs could carry them leaving only him and Emma in the living room.

"I'm so sorry kid. I know I screwed up again and I know you deserve better than me. It's just for the past ten years I've tried to block this day from my memory because it hurt too much remembering that I didn't have you." Emma's voice was breaking more and more by the minute and as she pushed them to sit on the couch he could tell how cold and shaky her hand was. He was sad and wanted Regina; he wanted the never ending love and attention he always got from her. Right now all he wanted was his life back. Back to before he ruined it all. Back when he was happy and his whole word was the brunette woman. He was trying and failing at containing his tears and so was the blond sitting in front of him. He felt like talking something but the lump in his throat made that impossible.

"I'm not making excuses to you or going to pretend like this was no big deal because I know that is just not true. My whole life I wished I had parents who could love me and give me even a little bit of attention but I never had that. When I found out I was pregnant I freaked out not only because I was in prison but because deep down I knew that I could not be a mother; not the one I believed you deserved anyway. I just knew I was going to fuck it up and look at me now. I'm feeling like I committed murder and should rot in hell for forgetting about you and making you feel like you don't matter to me. I love you Henry and to stand here knowing you have not lived with me for more than 4 months and I managed to make you feel all the shit I hopped you wouldn't in so little time kills me. I'm not her. I know you wish so and I understand it because I also wished I was capable of making you feel good and could give you all there is of perfect in this word. I also wish I could have had her like you did growing up because after she gave you to me I realized the amount of love she held in her heart for you and just how much she would put your happiness in front of hers. But you made your choice and it made me so thrilled to know someone would want me that I did not thought everything through and I also beg your forgiveness for being selfish. I will try to be better if you can give me another chance; I owe it to you and to Regina who trusted you to me."

It was funny how she thought like he had another choice. Like he could choose someone else, didn't she get it? He gave up everything for her. He made his own mother hate him. He was ashamed of himself and had no one else because of his actions. He was not even strong enough to try and see the woman who raised him all his life. He went from school straight 'home' and never went out afraid to came face to face with her and see with his eyes and not just feel how much he missed her and could never replace her. The woman must hate him by now and with every right to do so. It was not her that didn't deserve his love or attention it was the other way around.

He could say all of this out loud but he knew it was unfair with the Savior for this was really not her fault. He was the one to blame; it was him who left his home for a stranger, it was him who threw rocks and broke the one person that once loved him unconditionally. It was all him.

"Of course." What else could he say? They finally head to sleep this day off and while with his eyes closed Henry imagined not a small bed in a shared room but a wonderful king sized comfortable bed with Regina, the woman that meant the word to him reading him stories and after it whispering sweet little nothings into his ears as he would drift to sleep.

* * *

_Leave a review so I can know what your thoughts are :D_


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is the next one.
> 
> English is not my language so forgive me any mistakes.
> 
> Warnings: Mention of rape, sex, self harm
> 
> don't own ouat.

Josh was a good distraction and that was for sure. After breakfast they went out and spent the day doing all sort of things. From a movie to a kart competition; but that didn't stop her from remembering the boy that still held her heart and to wonder if he was even missing her. But she decided that she should be honest with herself and face reality. Of course he was not missing her. Why would he if he had the perfect family? Ruby tried to call her three times more than her usual that day but every time Regina would decline the call. To imagine his happiness that resulted from her absence was one thing but to get visual details of it from the wolf girl was just unbearable.

The next day at the stables Regina found that in the week to come the place would offer free riding classes for children during the summer and was looking for qualified hands for the job and since she was one of the best riders and knew her way around a horse so well the owner asked her if she could do it. It took only one second for the queen to make up her mind and get on board with the idea. That is how two months away from Storybrooke became seven.

After the summer was over and therefore the free classes she was giving they asked her to take a temporary job as a teacher because one of the employees was taking maternity license. Of course she said yes, being able to do something she loved and with it inspire children to do something they liked was a ticket to heaven in her not so humble opinion. All the kids and the time spent with them filled the void Henry left open in her life when he decided she was once again disposable. The feeling of being part of something good and in those sixty minutes over there on the field with the kids giving her all of their attention was the only thing that kept her going.

Well not just that; Josh had a big part on it too. They were not dating or anything like that. They were good friends who fucked each other and had fun while doing it. He helped her choose an apartment in the city, decorate it and even went shopping for more clothes with her because "If I'm going to stay here Josh is not going to be in a hotel and definitely not without bigger options of what to wear" the laugh she received from the man was so pure she found herself laughing back. Yes he was good to her.

She had a few slips during that time in days when the pain was too much to bear. Most of them was only her insecurities taking over her head but she was able to call for her friend and he helped her through it. There were only two times in those seven months that the things got seriously out of control.

The first came out of anger after a nightmare that was actually a memory she would give her life to forget. The trigger came from a woman she met that had been raped by her husband and was trying to fight her way out of his sick hold. That night she dreamed about her wedding night and the first touch of the bastard's old and demanding hands in her body. She woke up shaking, bed and clothes soaked with sweat, desperation clinging to her like a second skin too caught up in the memory to realize she was alone in her apartment and not in his bedchamber. When she came to her senses a feeling of emptiness took over the brunette's body. Questions of why she deserved that or why didn't nobody helped her were consuming her mind. The more she dwelled on the past the more flashes passed through her hitting her like a train; every hurtful word he said during all the years of imprisonment, every time he raped her, every time he hit or branded her.

Oxygen was beginning to fade and she needed to leave or she would something she would regret so she crawled all the way to her wardrobe not trusting her legs and put on a short and a blouse, picked up her phone and left. Breathe in and out she kept repeating in her mind; using the building wall to balance her weight; heart racing like a wild scared animal and vision blurred. Long five minutes passed and she was finally able to regain her balance and call for a man she believes ran fourteen blocks to get to her as fast as he could.

The second time she was not so lucky. She can't really remember what happened all she knows is one moment she is walking in central park feeling the cold morning air hit her face and blank. She doesn't know what she saw all she remembers is running away from it like her life was about to end and making her way inside a restaurant straight to the bathroom. She thinks she went to the sink and splashed water to her face but as she looked up into the mirror what she saw was not her reflection, looking back to her was Cora laughing like she always is.

Panic and madness must have been the only explanation. Her mind knew it was fake but fear spoke louder and she acted upon it hitting the mirror sending pieces of broken glasses all over the place cutting the air surrounding her. Regina heard a voice screaming to be left alone and realized it was her own. The louder she screamed the louder the laughter in her head would became. It was a battle o wills and she was losing. She was scratching her ears to the point of blood hoping to shut her mother's voice.

She forgot where she was and even who she was she only became aware of other people entering the place when two pair of hands stopped her movements and turned her back to reality; an ugly and dark reality. After she had calmed down, apologized to the owner over and over saying it was a panic attack she gave him double the amount she figured would cost the repairs and swore to never come here again.

All she could do was now try and be stronger the next day. Josh's constancy presence in her life led to more talks and more understanding from his part about the situation. She had said it all there was to know about her life filing the blanks she left in that first day and talk; he also told her his fears and the things and people he lost as well. What they talked about the most when everything was ok was all the different places she went and all of her craziest sexy escapades.

Talks about sex only got them into doing it and playing with each other's mind from time to time. Of course who started it was Regina when she went to his bar one day and picked a girl she knew would fit both of their tastes and put on a show with this woman for a very tied up Josh who was sitting in a chair that was positioned in the greatest angle possible. After the girl had climaxed twice and the man was more than begging claiming he was going to die from need the now definitely evil queen took pity on him and rode his dick hard and fast. The control she had leaving her on the edge the whole time and making her come undone faster than normal in a body racking climax with the man beneath her following her seconds after. After that night they sometimes fucked together other women, men and couples; never a boring moment when these two were together.

After two months of not answering Ruby's calls she finally felt stable enough to do it. She almost got herself killed by the scream the girl made; apparently she was being considered dead for the lack of response. They stayed talking about everything for more than an hour and after making a promise of never disappearing again Regina also made wolf girl swear that they would not speak anything related about the city and its residents but other than that everything was game.

Regina told her about the classes she was giving, the kids that became the light in her life and about her new found friend in Josh. Ruby on the other hand was on and on about wanting to visit the city, how Granny was always making her life miserable and about this wonderful girl she had met and possible had fallen in love with even though they just started seeing each other. The months passed by but the conversation never ceased; no matter if it was from a call or a text message they would talk every day.

In three days it would be the waiter's birthday and Regina being unemployed now that the woman she was filling for came back from her release thought about surprising her friend and going back to Storybrooke for a while. Josh after hearing this got really excited with the idea and figured he needed a break from the club and was officially off to a vacation. So after much talking and getting it all ready the pair made their way to the once cursed town by the next morning in Josh's Ferrari (there was a bet and the winner would drive and pick the car to travel. Yes, it was sex related and yeah Regina could not keep it in her pants long enough so she lost). The ride was good and funny and within the end of the day they made it to town line and drove to the queen's mansion. They fixed the place with magic and ate the take out they had brought in the way here. Sleep came with the pair cuddled in bed watching a random movie.

Waking up in her bed after so many months away was a little odd but Josh's presence by her side made things easier. She watched him for a while thinking she probably would not be here if it had not been for him; she knows those first weeks were harsh and to face them alone would be close to impossible. All her life she wanted someone to understand her and accept her that is all. A person to end her loneliness and safe her from all the abuse she suffered by the hand of others and by her own self destructive hands. Ruby came close to being it during the curse but the wolf didn't know her complete story and once she did her first reaction was to attack her; the queen could not hold to much blame into the girl's hands but that does not mean what happened hurt any less. The man sleeping peacefully in front of her knows it all; from her most despicable actions to the deep need of love and affection never received but he stays either way. To know you have a soul in the end of the day to hold her together calmed her nerves and her demons. Only that knowledge was enough to keep her from hurting herself more.

She got up and did her morning routine and when she was done she decided the man had enough of his beauty sleep and should get up so they could go out for breakfast.

* * *

_What do you think is going to be everyone's reaction to the queen being back?_


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next one. But first I just wanted to thank every one of you who are reading my fic and giving me your support.
> 
> English is not my language so I apologize for my mistakes
> 
> Don't own ouat.

It was hard waking Josh up, the trip must have really tired him out or it was just how comfortable the queen's bed was because the man did not want to get up at all.

"Please let me sleep just ten more minutes or hours" The last was said in an even lower voice but she heard it any way and she chuckled at it. He began mumbling incoherent things about her being evil or something like it for depriving him of his much needed rest with his head now face down into the pillow; Regina who has been straddling his back started to kiss his neck hoping a change of approach would make it easier to get him off the bed but that also failed when he shrugged her off.

"No come on I'm starving. There is absolutely nothing to eat here." She was laying her whole body on top of his now and whining like a little girl but she didn't care. With him she always feels safe to act silly but more importantly to let herself go and enjoy the care and happiness he provided her. The two of them fitted in a way she never thought possible before, in a way she never dared or allowed herself to hope after what happened in her youth.

"Why don't you just make food with magic?"

If you think she was acting like a child the supposed grown up, scary and muscular man was pulling off a baby like it was an everyday occurrence. "Because…. It doesn't taste so good and I want it from Granny's. Josh get up I mean it." She was resting her head in the hole made by his shudders and neck looking at him with shining big chocolate eyes, lips trapped in a pout and to add her wrinkles were making a cute appearance in her forehead as she tried to unite her eyebrows forming the most irresistible face making his insides melt and disintegrate. How can anyone deny her? He definitely couldn't so he made a move to turn around and Regina understanding got back in a kneeling position so he could have space to do so. They were now one looking at each other and his Regina had a winning smile glued to her face while he was trying and failing miserably to fake a scolding look. After he gave up and cracked he pushed her down and kissed her. "Good morning" his voice was filled with love and no one especially not him could deny it.

"Morning" was her only response fallowed by a bite in those so inviting and full lips as she supported her body by her elbows. He could look at her forever and it still would not be enough but after a big grunt coming from his stomach maybe doing it and eating would not be such a horrible idea after all.

"Was that you?" She threw her head back letting a rich, beautiful happy laughter fill the air. "You're in a worse state than me and don't you dare pretend you're not." She effectively made a more serious face as she spoke sounding like a perfect business woman even though she was currently on top of his naked chest, inches away from his face and her soft black hair was falling from the sides of her face and surrounding him. Kill him now but it was in moments like this that she was more beautiful for him. "Get up and get dressed. Now." She tried to leave but he was faster and grabbed her by the waist and brought her to another kiss and only then he let her go giving a slap to her perfect ass.

She got up with a huge smile in her face and sat by the edge of the bed waiting for him as he took a fast shower; as he came back to put some clothes she could not help herself and not stare at the perfect view he was offering but he didn't notice it being too busy trying to get ready as fast as he could so they could go to the dinner and have the so needed breakfast.

"I'm ready, let's go?" He said while extending his hand for her to grab and leading the way out. She drove to the dinner after they came to an agreement it was easier and faster that way.

The whole way the people were watching them but mostly because none had seen such a fancy car before the queen's Mercedes being the most expensive one to ride Storybrooke's streets. As they parked the car and made it from the parking lot to the establishment everyone who was walking around the block and saw the pair was looking and whispering things like: "The queen is back." "Is she really wearing jeans?" "Who is that man with her?"

As they entered the place went completely silent. No one was expecting to see the queen or to see her in such a casual wear but once again the couple paid no mind to the others as they sat on the counter. Regina missed this place and being back here only served to remind her even more of it. Ruby was nowhere in sight and the queen guessed she was probably in the back getting an order ready to be served. There were others waitress but all of them knew the queen was waiting on the wolf so none made a move only acknowledged her with a nod.

"Cozy little place this is." She looked at Josh and was about to answer him when arms surrounded her from the side knocking the air out of her and forming a surprised sound by the force of the impact.

"You're here!" Ruby exclaimed while still holding her tight.

"Not for long if you don't quit this dear." The girl finally understood the problem and let go of her.

"Sorry, sometimes I forget the werewolf and strength thing." Regina only smiled back and said it was ok. Josh had an amused face watching the exchange between the two women and liking to see that at least someone cared for the queen but was taken from his thoughts when the two stopped hugging each other and the one he suspected was Ruby greeted him.

"Hello. I'm Ruby."

"Hi, I'm Josh." He said and went to shake her hand but to his surprise he also got a hug from the enthusiastic girl taking seconds to realize it and reciprocate it.

"I'm so glad to meet you and that you came back Regina, but what are you doing here?" The last part was said looking at the ex mayor but even if it sounded like she did not want them there she could tell it was only because she was really not expecting it.

"Well someone's birthday is tomorrow and we thought it would be a good idea to come here and celebrate it but you can correct me if I'm wrong." Ruby's smile could fill the dinner alone of so much joy and it was more than enough to make the queen smile as well.

"No! You are right as always." The famous smirk was on Regina's face as the girl said that line. Yeah, she has also missed the wolf.

"Now that you have fueled this one's already huge ego what does a man have to do to get food over here because I believe I'm going to die from starvation."

"Haha. Very funny Josh, I think I'm the one who's going to die today but it's going to happen from your large sense of humor." The phrase was filled with the usual sarcasms but it lacked coldness or cruelty instead it held a playfulness never witnessed by the others in the room. Ruby who has been eyeing the pair closely saw the way they interacted with each other and found she liked this Josh guy even more now than she did before when the queen talked about him while still many miles away from her. In front of her she could tell how much he really cared for her friend and how truly mutual the feeling was and it made her happy beyond explanation to know Regina had someone else in her corner. The woman surely deserved it more than anyone else the waiter knew.

"Just say it and I'll get it for you, no need to die in here. Neither one of you do."

"I'll have some eggs with bacon and an orange juice thank you. Regina?" He never bossed her around, never told her what to do or what not to do. He always respected her and her whishes and that is what the queen liked the most about him. She gave the man a warm smile and looked at Ruby who was writing his order down and told the girl what she wanted.

"I'll have the same but make it apple instead of orange, please."

"Done and done. Your orders will be up in a sec." She said cheerily giving a wink after she finished putting everything on the paper and turned back around and into the kitchen. It only took this space of time for the brunette man sitting beside the brunette woman to give his thoughts about the girl he had the pleasure to meet. "I see why you like her. She is nice and super hot." The smirk in his face suddenly matched the one the queen gave him after it and was followed by a raise of eyebrow and an amused response.

"You're no good did you know that? Plus she is dating now so drop your hopes."

"I was only stating the fact that is all." The hand in his chest while the other rested above the table and his chocked face was too much to bear and the queen let a snort come out and was shaking her head from side to side showing him how much she believed it.

"Right, poor you only being observant and mean little me putting dirty thoughts on your mind." The hand she placed on top of his to show comfort and regret to the so called insult she had given him was the last straw and this time both of them really laughed.

The costumers watched with deep and pure fascination the 'Evil Queen' have fun and not care about anything else than the man in front of her. Most of the ones who supported Snow would not speak out loud but were actually grateful for leaving that land and coming to this world.

During the 28 years cursed they had a small town peaceful life with a good Mayor; the woman was mean and rude to people but no one was ever in need of anything like they were in the Enchanted Forest. After the queen left and the city became Snow's to administrate (because she decided it was hers by right) the population living standards got worse and not better. Odd wasn't it? If Regina was evil shouldn't that had been the opposite? Apparently the purest of them all could not really be Queen let alone a Mayor to a town; facts that became evident in how much the economy of the city went downhill from then on but that was not the only thing dropping. Their faith on her and their hatred towards the ex Mayor also decreased significantly.

Regina and Josh ate their food all the while sharing laughs at things one would say or do. After paying and leaving a generous tip, Regina told Ruby to drop by the mansion after her shift in the dinner was over so they could really catch up. The pair then went out and headed to the supermarket to get supplies for the empty house they were staying in.

* * *

_Leave me a review. They always make my day and lets me know what are your thoughts. :D_


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next one. Hope you like it.
> 
> Warning: mention of rape.

Storybrooke being a small town meant that as they reached the super marketed so did the rumors of the queen's return; by then the whole town but one boy knew or had heard about it and choose to believe it was false. No need to say that those who hoped the last statement was the truth were the Non-Charmin clan.

Regina and Josh were walking through the corridors picking all they needed to fill the house and specially the things they didn't. The refrigerated would definitely be filled to the brim, but mostly with all kinds of junk food. Regina may had said a thing or two against the amount of crap that they were purchasing but both of them knew by the end of the day she would be belly full of ice cream even if she had to run in the treadmill for one hour come tomorrow. Her body had to stay in shape after all.

The ones who lived in her kingdom and were also shopping greeted her with warm smiles. Yes, she has killed and tortured; but she had only done it to the few villages that never supported her and chose to take Snow's side in the story. All the other ones she ruled with grace much like she did the city. After she had the  _kind-loving-fair_  King murdered she fixed all the holes presents for everyone to see. People were suffering from hunger and lack of a home while the bastard, his insolent child and the others nobles had a gigantic table of food in front of them; food that would go to waste and be thrown out by the end of the day.

Regina fed, cleaned and housed everyone who needed and accepted her help. She reigned not only on the population's fear and disgrace as the snowflake liked to say to the others kingdoms where she would go to hide. No, the woman ruled like a true monarch should.

There were almost no violence or robbery in her lands (to those who dared it the consequences faced could became quite bloody if you know what I mean) and all of her people had at least the minimum necessary to have a decent life though most of them held a more comfortable and stable reality.

Regina and Josh were deciding on what to have for dinner that afternoon when the queen locked eyes with the richest blue ones she ever met. Maleficent. Once a friend, a long lost lover and an extinguished flame of her existence. She loved that woman once; when her heart was yet to be consumed by the darkness and she could still let herself be fooled into believing she could.

They met in a cold day where the queen was tired of waiting on Rumple and went after somebody else to help her achieve her desires. She imagined a strong and unbreakable magician but came across something completely different. The one who was barely standing in the vast castle room was just as broken and lost as Regina and that awoken an anger deep inside the naive little queen. She understood the other woman's pain and wanted to save her from it so they could be strong together; she saw fixing the dragon as fixing herself and proving that she could win too. That in the end her pain would subside and everything would turn out just fine. That she one day would be happy.

The raw desire she felt towards the blonde beauty intensified by the second and the things she was feeling she could not comprehend. Daniel was sweet and loving and gave her an easiness she could never reach with someone else but one look at the dragon and her interior would combust; that woman oozed fire and heat and Regina guessed at first that it had to do with the dragon lying beneath the surface thing but after a while she came to the conclusion that it was only who the blonde was and how much control the woman had upon her.

On her second visit Maleficent was someone completely different and the pull Regina felt on that first day intensified. The first kiss shared felt like magic strong enough to make her body tingle for days; lips soft and demanding creating promises of care and compassion, things the queen had forgotten could exist. Hands on her hips that were smoothing her never ending worries and fears were also feeding the vicious fire burning from within the brunette's body.

At first the encounters were only an escape from an old man and the loneliness she felt when she was locked in there but that sentiment grew and she came to a place where she needed to feel the blonde at all times and everywhere. Her skin begged to be touched, to be owned and to be worshiped by the blue eyed toxic drug she had come to love. Yes, to love.

It all was fine up until the day Regina decided to drop by unannounced in the dragon's lair to make a surprise to her lover. The problem was that when she got there the one who could not believe her eyes was none other than herself.

Maleficent the one Regina believed that truly liked her was rolling around with some dirty maiden like two animals and that sight made her sick to the stomach. She left the place puffing herself back to her own bedchambers and let out a cry of agony, pain and anger. Once again she had been used, once again someone tricked her into believing she matter and that she was special. She had let herself fall for a deceiving woman that used her only when no one else was there to warm her bed (or floor, wall and whatever place else she was taken).

The dragon never forced herself upon Regina; it had been always the queen's choice but after seeing that nauseating scene she could not help but compare the woman she loved to Leopold because she was feeling just as much as a harlot as she did after he raped her while screaming his late wife's name.

But Regina learned her lesson and vouched to herself that no one would use her again. She was the one who would use someone and throw it away after she got bored. It, not she or he. They would be nothing more than toys just like she had been all her life.

She visited the dragon many more times after it but only for sex and never for care or any type of feelings that were not related to lust or desire. The disillusion she had suffered by the woman's hands enough to make all that love disappear and to build the final and most resilient wall around her not yet fully blacked heart.

During the curse Regina never once crossed paths with the woman; she was too afraid of putting herself open to more pain because the queen could not lie to herself and pretend those years in this new land had not made her softer and had destroyed too many walls in the process. Walls that broken could give space for a feeling buried so long ago come to the surface if she came to face the one responsible for so many emotions. Maleficent lived a life in her city as a clothes designer because she had always had such a good taste in how to dress herself; something she had not missed since the curse broke if what she was wearing today was anything to go by.

Regina was a different woman now, she was no longer scared of love and of feeling things; she was changing for good and trying to rebuild bridges she had burned along the way as a method of survival seemed like a good place to start. Josh's hands holding her by the waist gave her something to cling herself into and to let her fears go and finally make her mind about what her next move would be. No matter what she knew she had her friend Josh by her side and she also owned to herself to at least try and talk with the woman. Having decided on what to do she excused herself for a while showing the man who she was going to talk for a bit and went after the dragon that held her heart in her hands for many years.

She saw the way the woman's eyes widened by her movement and grated her with a small tentative smile. "Hello Maleficent."

"Regina." Voice stern and a mask as perfect as the one the queen was used to paint her face with. The dragon knew her and was probably trying to understand what the queen wanted with her after 29 years.

"You look good, as always." To say Regina was nervous to speak with the dragon was an understatement. The woman had always intimidated her with her strength and easy mode of command others and to stand in front of her now bare of her walls proved to be more difficult than she had previously thought.

"What do you want? I thought you had left the city for good." The queen's face fell and Maleficent realized a little too late that she had figured out the situation all wrong. In her mind the brunette was here to play some game but she could always tell from the other one's face everything she wanted to know and when she saw the glint from those brown and expressive eyes fade she could tell her weapons weren't needed for this conversation.

"No I was just away for a while. But I'm not really back either I came mostly for Ruby's birthday."

The voice that responded Maleficent was so small that really had the dragon second think her next move but she could not help herself from the jab that came out.

"You are always following your little sluts around aren't you?" Regina had seen it coming. She knew better than to talk about her ex lovers to the blonde in front of her because in the past there were always little snarky comments about her choices and for a time she had thought it was jealously but as darker her heart would became the less she would believe the woman would have any type of feelings for her.

"She is not that Maleficent, so please refrain from calling her anything like it. She is much more than you can imagine and was never just a slut to me. She is a friend." The queen saw a defeated look cloud that blue ocean eyes and sighed to herself, the friend part was a low blow and she knew it as soon as it left her mouth.

"What do you want? You have not spoken with me ever since we have been here and in our last talk you destroyed the last piece of what we had. Just explain to me. Why are you here?" The honest doubt pouring from each word had Regina's heart hurting even more.

"I'm sorry." That really got the dragon of the track.

"What? You're what now?"

"Sorry. I'm sorry for many things especially at how our last talk ended but I needed it. I was desperate and…" She took a deep breath hoping the words she wanted would come out from her mouth. "But it was wrong and I was long gone to realize it and after it I was just too afraid to make a move and for that I'm also sorry."

"Ok." Maleficent was speechless. This woman in front of her was so similar to the one she first met that it made her heart miss a few beats. She saw this woman turn from a sweet girl to the so called monster and the fact that she could not stop it made her guilty to no end. But now she was here again and Maleficent would be crazy if she did not hold this slowly mending little soul as hard as her clutches would allow it and this time really stop her from falling or rather jumping through that edge once more.

"I'm thinking about taking Ruby to the tomorrow at 11 to celebrate her anniversary. It is going to be girls only, would you like to come? If so we will be in a private cabin, I'll leave an order to let you pass."

Hope was shining in chocolate orbs and as always no matter what the deal was the dragon could not stop herself from accepting anything Regina wanted from her. "Yes."

"It was nice seeing you Mal." Hearing her nickname from those perfect lips still did things to her and when the queen smiled the most carefree one she had saw after so many decades she truly lost her voice and only smiled back and watched the woman retreat to her friend. She was really glad she decided to come here after all.

"Who was that?" Josh received her with open arms as she settled in them she responded.

"That was Maleficent. I decided to take an advice you gave me months ago. You said that I may have crippled my bridges but if they were true I could fix them with time and that it would be good to me to try. I want to fix them Josh." She holds him tighter and kissed his neck before going back to her speech.

"I want to be full like I never had the opportunity to be before. I'm also going to start seeing a doctor like you had suggested once we get back to New York because you were right about that too and I need some extra help to fix me. Being back here makes me think of it all again, all the pain and the moments I lost with Henry because of who I was and because I was not mended yet and I see it all with a different point of view now. I want to be whole and not this broken disposable woman who no one gave a shit about. Not no one, because now I have you. And I may not say this as many times as I should, but no matter how many times I say it out loud it could never be enough to show you how much you mean to me and how much I'm aware that I would not be here if it had not been for you in my life. If I'm healing today it's because you're here, because you keep me safe, because you keep me sane. I don't deserve you but I love you. This love is all that is keeping me alive, that is giving me fuel to try and be better. I want to be better for me first but I also want to be better for you so I can show you that your efforts were not wasted."

Tears were falling from both of them faces. "You are a lot of things Regina but none of them are broken or unlovable. I love you too and I'll never leave your side. We are going to make you better. You are going to have it all. I promise you this."

He whispered that so only she would hear it and she trusted every word that came out from his mouth.

* * *

_So what are your thoughts?_


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok this one is rather small and it's just a little preview of what is about to come. I hope you guys enjoy it
> 
> English is not my language so I apologize for my mistakes.

The evening went pretty much uneventful for the queen. Ruby got there around seven pm and they talked about everything you could possibly imagine. Apparently the wolf girl had already made her plans for tomorrow night to meet with her friends around eight in The Rabbit Hole but that was just unacceptable for so many reasons.

As she lay in bed at night she keeps going through the motives of why she hated that idea so much.

One: the queen have always hated that place ever since she casted the curse. Only the commoners used to go there and in her mind that must not have changed at all.

Two: she has already fixed everything at the to provide her friend with everything she deserved and to keep everyone entertained.

Three: she had invited Mal over and she knew the dragon would be there. She could tell from her eyes when she crossed path with the woman.

Four: she could not care less about who the waitress had called but one thing was for sure. She would not under any circumstances face the snow flake for more than one hour without committing murder or attempting against her well being and safety. Yeah, the blonde savior she could have some fun with but Snow was off limits. That was just too much to bear but she would not be heartless and put Ruby in a place where she would have to decide between the two of them.

Regina just had to put up with the woman for a while sorely for her friendship and respect towards the werewolf and when she realize her patience is gone she would make the she-charming leave as soon as possible and then take the remaining girls for the party of their life.

Good thing for the queen that Cora had taught her more than she wanted or thought she needed about manipulation and getting what she wanted. Yeah tomorrow would be a hell of a night.

* * *

Regina was dressed in a form fitting dark purple sleeveless dress that reached mid thigh. Her makeup was a light smokey eyes and blood red lips. As she got out of the bathroom to put on her black stilettos she saw Josh sitting in bed.

"You look good enough to eat, as you always do." He said as he practically undressed her with the way he was looking at her, but her only response was to bend over offering him the magnificent view of her ass and gave him a sexy smirk.

"You are impossible, do you know that?"

She turned around  _pushed_  her dress up to her hips, straddled his legs and kissed his lips. "Who? Me? Never."

He put his arms around her waist looking deep inside those brown beautiful eyes that were capable of hypnotize everyone whose gaze cross by. "So do you think your plan will work?"

"When has it not dear? But anyway I need to go because I'm already a bit late." She got off his lap as he smiled at her.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do ok."

She scoffed. "As if, do you even know me?"

"I do, especially more than anyone else alive."

That was true and she would never deny it. Her friend was her world and that is for sure, "See you later." A wink and she was gone in a purple cloud.

She appeared in front of the club and looked at her watch. It was already nine pm and as she got inside the Habit Hole she was already dreading being inside the place. Ugh! Ruby is lucky she loves her otherwise the queen would never be here on her own free will.

Finding the table proved to be an easy job because for what it seemed Snow was already pretty much inebriated and was putting on a pathetic little show. It looks like for once in her life time God was playing by her side. Oh! She could not hold her excitement any more so with a light speed she marched her way towards the birthday girl and the woman's friends, never breaking eye contact with the 'purest of them all' who had caught her eyes a second ago.

"Hello ladies. Have you started the fun without me?"

* * *

_So, what do you think is Regina's plan? Let me know your thoughts._


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is the next one. Hope you guys like it.
> 
> English is not my language so forgive me any mistake.
> 
> Don't own ouat.

"Hello ladies. Have you started the fun without me?"

Ruby was the first to say anything as she got up from her sit and went to give the queen a warm hug. "Regina, finally you are here! I thought you were not going to show up."

"And miss your day? I would never, dear." Regina watched everyone who was there for the wolf girl react with her presence with deep fascination. Ashley and this other red haired girl seemed unsurprised and totally okay with it. Belle (who is Ruby's current girlfriend) looked at her with a bit of jealously but other than that she was fine. Emma was dumb stroked she would say; the savior was ogling her shamelessly but she was also not surprised by her presence. Snow tough was another case completely. The woman was fuming, sending daggers through her eyes and just completely mad.

"Ruby, you didn't tell me you were going to call her." Her voice was slow and a bit blurred but you can blame the alcohol on that.

"Well Snow I didn't think it would have mattered so much. It was you who said that you wanted to get our friendship back after all you did. If you like and care about me, whoever is here should not be a problem. It wasn't for Regina anyway." As the waitress spoke Mary had the decency to look ashamed and the smirk glued to Regina's face grew bigger and bigger with every syllable that was pouring out of the wolf's mouth.

"No you are right Ruby. It does not make a difference, at all."

"So now that everything is clear and everyone I invited is here I just wanted to thank you all for coming. It makes me really happy. But now let's get the Queen Drunk!"

"That is a hard thing to achieve dear but we have to start somewhere right." Regina called the bartender for two shots of tequila for every woman present and sat down into the only seat vacant. A seat that was right beside the savior; well the odds are definitely in her favor now. If she had any doubt that her plan would work the blonde sitting with legs touching hers ended it by the way she was drooling just now with said touch.

"So Regina this is Belle. I don't believe you two had really met before." Ruby said while pointing to her girl and practically dripping honey from her lips as she spoke and had her dreamy eyes meeting the same kind of affection coming from Belle's ones. Regina just loved to see it and any doubts she had about the girl's feelings for the wolf were crushed after today. It was clear that Belle seemed quite taken for the werewolf as well.

"No we have not. It's nice to finally meet you Belle, tough after all this woman talks about you it feels like I already do." Ruby threw a glance at the queen to show her just how much her comment was unnecessary while blushing furiously.

"I could say the same about you Regina." It was said as testing waters with the ex-mayor but if the woman cared for the informal addressing she paid no mind to it.

"Yeah, these two are quite the pair I would say." Emma was dying to get in the conversation and this was just her cue. And when the queen moved her chocolate orbs to look at her and give the savior a never ending attention to the words coming out of her mouth all the while biting those plump red lips she knew right then for sure that she had not been more than five minutes beside Regina but if she would put her hands inside her skinny jeans she would find that she was definitely soaked. Well fuck.

As Emma finished talking Regina effectively drank both of her shots one after the other. "Whoa. I'm not into getting puked at." The savior said chuckling to herself and that was just score one for the queen. The blonde would not even know what hit her by the end of the day.

"Really dear, so enlighten me with one question. What are you into Miss Swan?"

Snow choked with her drink and fell off the chair and all the girls but Emma who was stunned to no end went for her help while Ruby only watched the queen suspiciously. Regina realizing that only shrugged it off as if her question was not that big of a deal. But of course she knew exactly how that had sounded and the hidden (or not so much) true it held. "Well I think she drank too much already, maybe she is the one to who you should say you're not into puking to Swan."

She smirked and for the life of her she could have swore she saw the blonde do it too. Yes, corrupt the Charming's holy daughter was proving to be really easy and spook the snow flake with it even easier.

Snow got up red with fury but kept it all down because she would not lose this battle with her ex stepmother. If only the (not)poor thing knew what the queen had in store for her.

"Let's play never have I ever! I have always wanted to do it after I got my memories back. What do you guys think?" The girl next to Ashley said it and after a second view of the face Regina came to the conclusion she must be that other waitress who works the night shift at the dinner.

"I'm in."

"Okay…"

"What is that?"

"I don't think that is a good idea, you guys."

"Hell yeah."

"That, Snow dear is a game. A question is asked and if you have ever done it before you must empty your cup. And why not Emma, are you afraid of what mummy will think?" Her voice was pure venom in the 'mommy' part and the sparks flying out or her eyes felt like fuel to the savior.

"Fine, I'm in."

"What about you Snow, what do you think?" Ruby was really eager to play that game; she would have suggested it herself had Louise not done it first.

After a glance at Regina's way and the cheerily way her friend had asked her to do it she nodded her head yes and the next thing they all know a full bottle of scotch is in the middle of the table and they all looked at the queen with reprehensible eyes.

"What? It is faster this way. So who goes first?"

"I'll go." Snow almost jumped from her sit as she spoke and raised her arms to prove just how much she really wanted to do it. They all nodded their head and waited for her question.

"Never have I ever killed a human being."

Regina was shocked. Of all the things she expected to come out from Snow this was definitely not one of them. She was petrified but not out of shame because of her previously actions. No, she was taken aback by the fact that the woman knew what Ruby had done unconsciously while in her wolf form and the amount of guilty the waitress held in her heart about it but had chosen to ignore it all together for what? To prove a point? To show she was better than them all? Or was it just o innerve the queen? Well she definitely did the last one after Regina threw a glance at Ruby and saw the pain reflected in those eyes replacing the happiness it shone just a minute ago.

The table went dead with thick silent. They all believed the evil snicker plastered in the brunette's face came only from being confronted but the birthday girl saw right through it. She saw a true friend outraged with the turn of events; she saw a panther ready to kill it's prey with one single attack.

The booze slowed her down but the adrenaline that came from the fear she felt woken her body. She would stop Regina, but only because she did not want her friend to throw away all the good things she had conquered or the path of redemption she had walked for whatever dark thought that was passing in that mind of hers.

The wolf was about to make a move to hold the woman down but before she could do a single thing she saw something flash in the queen's eyes. Something akin to surprise, determination and acceptance; when it was gone her face and posture relaxed. The eminent threat was gone and the wolf girl could not be any more proud of this woman. She really had come a long way.

The rage Regina felt towards the woman who have always aimed to destroy her happiness was beyond control. How dare she do that to Ruby? She could take any jab or hurtful words, but to do it at her friend's cost was a price too high to be paid in her mind. She was one step away from incinerating her enemy of a long age when a voice invaded her mind.

But the tone of that voice was not the one she came to expect after hearing so many times though; this one was softer and calmer. Very much unlike her mother's one would be. It wasn't Cora's telling her to do it, to cave in and release her vicious thoughts. No, this time it was her own voice echoing inside her head, a mere whisper begging to be acknowledged. The face of a girl buried beneath the pain and despair trying to break free from the darkness.

She looked at Ruby and knew even if she wanted to murder and to inflict misery it would not make a difference. She had come a long way and only for that reason she knew that pain could no longer be faced with more pain. She would fight back with care; this time around she would win with love.

She jumped into action and took the bottle. "Good for me that you only have to drink it once and not as many times as you actually done it. But Snow, a word of advice, next time perhaps you may want to formulate your words better. I believe you meant 'never have I ever killed a human being willingly'. Am I right?"

Snow's eyes widened as realization of what her words implied sinks in but the queen didn't give her time to make any comment about it. "Who wants to go next?"

Her face showed conviction and it put an end to whatever objection the girls could have to say. If Ruby ever thought about taking that bottle and displaying for anyone to see the thing she hated the most about herself she gave up after a stern look and a shake of a head coming from Regina.

* * *

_Leave me a review to tell me what you think. They mean a lot to me._


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next one.
> 
> English is not my language so forgive my mistakes.

After Henry's disastrous birthday Emma promised to be a better mother for the kid even though she knew she could never reach the dust Regina left in her path when it came to motherhood. The months have been hard but she did not give up. After a long talk with Ruby the day next to the incident she managed to set things straight and was able to safe her friendship with the wolf.

Something that did not happened with her mother because the woman kept stating she was right and pure as a saint; therefore the one who needed to apologize was Ruby for coming into her home and yelling at her. Needles to say that was not how it went down.

A week ago Snow had come to speak to the wolf about that and asked for another go when they were having breakfast at Granny's. Emma saw how that took the waitress by surprise; she definitely did not expect any form of apology so far along the way. It had been months after all. She had accepted it even with the flicker of suspicions and doubt passing in those pools of light. It was the next day that Ruby had mentioned her own birthday and the plans she had for the celebration and her mother was more than happy to say yes to.

As the days went by with Regina's absence and the wolf grow trust in the savior once more she told Emma about her friendship with woman and the places she accompanied the queen during the curse. She also explained why when the blonde came to town and they developed a friendship she did not remembered a single thing about any of it. Which is why the ex mayor's presence here tonight or her comeback to the city neat this date did not take her by surprise. What did surprise her was the lack of initiative coming from her to see Henry. Maybe not that much; the kid must have really hurt her.

Anyhow the time went by and for a moment she believes the queen would not show at the Rabbit Hole but she was terribly mistaken. When the woman arrived she believes her mouth must have hit the ground and she had drool coming out from the huge gap left open. Men, she was pathetic and that was for sure. The queen said her hellos and Emma saw how different she looked. She was lighter and freer and even more captivating.

As the woman sat right beside her and that smooth perfect leg brushed hers she cursed herself for wearing pants and not being able to feel that olive skin touching hers. No matter, only knowing it was enough to make her breath hitch and her hands start to sweat.

She mostly was driving in and out of the conversation for being captive of the queen's every move, but that would not do she had to make a move and stop playing dumb.

When her mother had said the first phrase or the game she had not get it. Apparently Regina was not angry because of it but because it had implied another thing. What thing? Why must Snow know so much about this woman and not share with her the details. She just wanted to know the truth.

The table had gone in a dead uncomfortable silence but she could not care less too engrossed in her own thoughts but Belle's voice woke her up when realizing no one was going to say a thing the girl decided to do something to try loosening up the air and safe her girl's party from the doom just around the corner. The librarian had thought of the perfect question to go next after the Snow fiasco and fix it all and Emma was surprised never to think she could be so fierce.

"Never have I ever been with a woman."

The results were satisfactory as all the girls including her burst into laughers. She saw Belle pour a dose for her and one for Ruby giving her woman a sexy wink but as she went to let go of the bottle she watched with deep fascination the wolf girl in a mocking gesture take it from her fingers and handed it to the queen making a very odd comment that spiked her senses.

"You know Regina; I think you should just drink it all already. I doubt pretty hard that there is something that may be said here that you have never done it before. Hell I don't think that there is anything at all that you haven't done."

Regina made a move for the bottle and filled her cup to the brim never breaking eye contact and giving the sexiest smirking; a smirk the blonde strongly believes she must have learned from Aphrodite in person.

"Ruby you may be right about that but let me not monopolize the bottle. After all I bet some are also going to do some cup lifting tonight. I'll just fill it and this way I don't have to refill it all the time."

Her playful expression made the ones who never seen it before get dazzled. The woman was truly beautiful but smiling and having fun she was something out of this planet.

Regina being the never ending player decided to continue with her plan to drive Snow away by driving her little girl right in.

"What about you, sheriff? No drinking this round either? That is a shame."

That was said to all and Snow's face of fury was priceless. Upon second thought maybe not priceless enough so the queen moved closer, just enough so she could whisper into the blonde's ear with her most sensual voice and making the sweet and innocent snow flake melt as the flames would grow inside. Had the woman magic Regina would be dogging fire bolls by now.

"But don't you worry my dear. We can fix that anytime."

A powerful shiver ran it's way down Emma's body only by the hot breath connecting with sensitive skin of her earlobe. She would say something. She had to. Anything at all would be good but she was frozen in place.

Emma's mind was going viral and she could actually feel her brain cells burning into ashes if she paid them enough attention. She never guessed the ex mayor to be bisexual like she is. What is worse, or putting in her perspective what is super better is that it looked like the woman was flirting with her. With HER. Regina fucking Mills, queen of a whole land and hot as a motherfucker was giving her a chance?

She thought she was crazy up until the point where the dark provocative beauty whispered an open invitation for an 'initiation of the force' as if she was a beginner. Please Madam Mayor I've been touching myself imaging it to be your fingers since I stepped foot into this crazy ass town. No, not ass; her brain will for sure stop functioning if she remembers that gorgeous ass.

It had amazed her to no end that this smart woman never had noticed her traction towards her before. All the times she had let her mind drift to better things to do with her sitting in that big mayoral oak desk of hers while she stared at those perfect and always red sinful lips. Or perhaps the queen knew it all along and all that invasion of personal space was made as a calculated move only to drive her right to the edge of insanity. Oh!

Realization hit her like a train. She had been played all along by Regina. Her lazy sex driven and paralyzed brain had come with these came backs about the queen's last statement:

Option one: 'bitch this is not my first rodeo so move along and let me rock your world!'

Option two: 'I could have moved and drank my share had your highness not made my nipples so hard and my jeans so wet with your voice and presence.'

Option three (but not less valid like at all): 'yes please, use me as your fuck toy and demonstrate me how soft and sweet - or not so sweet, we are talking about the once Evil Queen- the touch of a woman can be.'

But before the woman in need could say anything back or even make a move the red haired one caught the bottle in her fingers making Regina's gaze move from hers and effectively breaking the spell the savior was falling head on into. Huff!

"Well I definitely got to."

* * *

Ten more rounds when on with Snow making ill comments every time she could. She was outraged with everything; Ruby was clearly putting their story behind for this evil woman. Woman who was now flirting with her daughter like that was the most natural of things, as if she was just some kind of slut. Well, Regina she always knew to be one but to let the others talk about her baby girl was another thing completely.

During the curse and being Mary M. only a friend to Emma she saw more than once how the blonde would speak about the mayor like she was deciding between kill or eat her on the spot but ever since she regained her memories and took her family away from this awful woman she put those thoughts aside. That is until this witch came back from whatever pit she was living and was throwing herself at her child.

She had been here in this bar for two hours now and one in the despicable presence of The Evil Queen. The woman was so terrible that had managed to somehow put words in her mouth and say something to hurt Ruby in the process. That is the only explanation she has about what happened.

She only wanted to show everybody once again the monster this vile being was but her intention was never to hurt the wolf. She would never do that because she was good and good people only causes good.

She was drunk and angry but kept quiet afraid to open her mouth and Regina cast another spell on her to make her look bad. Hard task to do especially when Emma would never stop looking at her ex stepmother with lust in her eyes; Snow may be drunk but she is not blind. No she was blind alright; but with rage after Ashley's next question and who drank their cups assuming guilty of charge.

"Never have I ever fucked someone present in this table."

From the corner of her eyes she saw Ruby share a look with Belle and she could not quite figure out why. Why would she be sorry to say she have been having sexual relations with her girlfriend? Only then she noticed Regina making a move to grab her cup. It could NOT be.

The woman not only stole her friend but abused her also? In no way the wolf would have freely given herself to someone as dirty as her so she must have raped her friend. Is Regina threatening Ruby? God! She had her proof right there that this woman would never stop being dark. Any doubt she had about taking Henry from her clutches was the right move dying among her calm faced.

"Of course you fucked her."

Snow's outburst startled everyone but the queen; because she had seen this side of her before. This girl was the farthest from a saint too bad not one but she could see it.

"Is just what you do isn't it Regina? You destroy it all you touch. Look at Henry. He could not have been more trilled about moving in with his new family and never having to look at your face again. He does not even remember you. You are that disposable to anyone so why don't you just leave?"

Brown eyes turning purple and a fast wind knocking movement were the last thing Snow saw after the last word that came out of her mouth. She felt pain crushing her bones and then darkness.

* * *

_What do you think happened to Snow? Who do you think that did it? Leave me a review ;D_


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next one you guys.
> 
> Next chapter we will see Mal and the end of their night. The one after it will be Henry pov :b
> 
> English is not my language so forgive me any mistakes.

Regina's plan was going great. She had Emma eating in the palm of her hand like she knew the girl would and Snow. Oh! Her dear little pure as a murder can be was almost literally fuming. It was such funny sight to see really; she wonders why go to the circus if this could top any main attraction.

In her devious mind the woman had became nothing less than a fucking cartoon that had instead of a head above her shoulders a pressure cooker that seemed like it was about to blow just like on those animated TV shows Henry liked to watch every Saturday and Monday during breakfast as a kid. To look at the obnoxious girl in front of her and not laugh her ass off was almost impossible but for reasons and strength unknown to the queen she was able to hold it in and maintain her oblivious and emotionless mask on.

Ashley's question got her by surprise but she went to drink it anyway it was not like she was ashamed of doing it. Back in the days she would think maybe the waitress would like to keep what happened between them behind the covers but with a better self steem and her hate towards herself significantly decreased with her two friend's help she put that worry to bed. She also trusted the werewolf more than ever and knew the woman was not going to just toss her away and regret their time together enough to public humiliate her tonight.

She saw Ruby give a look to Belle that was probably to certify the girl that no matter the past they had shared and their sexual encounters now the only thing left of it was friendship; not just friendship tough because when with the wolf's presence she would feel exactly like what she believes it is what you are supposed to feel when you have a loving family by your side. The look was also to make sure the girl knew the wolf was with her now and no one else stood a chance of stealing back the beating heart that had already been stolen by her girlfriend.

Yes she expected a few gasps of surprise by the revelation but what Snow said was completely unplanned in every way possible. She was so shocked that she even let the woman continue on her assault towards her using as a weapon the son she loves so dearly and the pain she holds so strong by his absence in her wounded heart.

Her mind may have frozen but her body could not have been more alive. Her magic took over her; the hate so strong it boosted enough magic to overpower her senses and make her eyes glow as if experiencing this spark of control and power for the first time after so long.

In did it was. This amount of rage she had not felt for what seemed like an eternity. Not even in her Evil Queen's day had it come to be this strong every day.

In the back of her mind she once again this night heard a voice but all hopes for it to be the young girl she once was is crushed just like Snow is going to be when Regina is finished with her.

'You pathetic girl are going to let her insult you once again in front of everyone? Your weakness makes me want to die from disgust.'

Her mother's words all it took for her to move. She let go of control and after all this time let go of the caged Evil Queen in her ready for revenge.

In an inhuman move the queen jumped up the table and tackled Snow to the ground. She would hurt her aright but this time with her own bare hands. The first punch enough to bring blood from the now broken nose.

The queen was about to throw the next one when a force went to hold her down. Her own magic surrounding her certified the one trying to stop her was Ruby; that is the main reason the wolf girl had not gotten herself expelled by an instinctive force.

The waitress was strong using her nature as leverage but it came to no help to the queen's anger and shocking strength. Emma came into action and took hold of Regina's other arm hoping it would be enough to immobilize the hot headed brunette.

The haze created by the darkness was not completely gone but most of the rage had gone away with the first blow and only now that the rush was over she could tell her surroundings. People standing by watching the snow flake bleed while she straddled the broken nose woman's waist with two girls holding her.

She shakes her body and sits straight to show she should be let go. Red was the first to do so and Emma followed suit after a glance at the wolf and a confirmation it was okay to do as requested.

Regina flicked her wrist then paralyzing every one and just stared at the scene and felt nothing but more anger. The difference was this time that emotion was directed only to herself. She had let herself fall victim of Snow's tactics. She had let the darkness whisper vindictive worlds into her ears and move their way to her soul. She had failed once again. Another movement of her hand and this time the whole place was evolved with purple smoke removing the memories of everything she had done, getting them all in their respective places and with great dread healing Snow White's injuries caused by her no longer bloodied knuckles.

She sat in her chair and just looked at it all; her slip of consciousness now vanished in their minds but vivid in hers. The shame forming tears in the back of her eyes that she refused to let it come pouring down. Time stood frozen for minutes that felt like hours but eventually Regina was able to take a hold of her body and mind and brought the place to life once again.

The magic she used made the last thing they all remember being Snow's last words. She watched with deep hurt as the woman's face started to move and only the end of the sentence came out from her mouth.

"…so why don't you just leave?"

This time around she saw the table staying in a dead silent from different reasons now. This time she could see Emma's eyes look like were ready to pop up from her face the reasons why she truly don't know; and in Ruby she could detect eradiating disbelief and even hurt.

This time around though no one was thrown to the ground of physically hurt. No, calmer the queen only stood up gave Snow a nod and a look towards an almost exploding Ruby. As their eyes met she saw the wolf try and pass through them compassion and shelter. As if the younger girl was praying for the fairies to make those words disappear from Regina's brain. That never happened but the queen was touched even so.

"I'll be at the 'D.F.' in my usual place waiting for you. I had actually made plans there for us all you know I don't like this place."

The 'all' part was to show she meant for the waitress's friend as well but obviously not including Snow. With a nod she just disappeared from their sight and with it the wolf all but growled displaying white perfect teeth.

"How dared you?" The girl screamed from the top of her lungs to her prey.

"What you mean how dared I? She is gone now you can drop the facade."

"What?"

What the hell was going on? Had this woman completely lost her mind? What does 'drop the facade' is supposed to mean? As if Snow was just reciting the market list she came with her explanation.

"She was abusing you Ruby and that is okay. It was not your fault; it is hers. You should have come to us sooner but now that we know what she has done to you we will protect you."

Every one's mouth was agape and they were all speechless. Ashley and Louise were just looking back and forward between the two soon to be ex friends once more. Snow had a winning look in her face as if she just had solved a mystery and was a super fucking hero. Belle was just really confused now; this woman they call the purest of them all was being stupid and plain mean. Whatever doubt she had about Regina owning a heart went to hell after the broken heart look and pain irradiating from the queen's eyes before she left.

Emma could just not believe this woman she came to know was her mother. How could she have said all those things to Regina even knowing they were all a bunch of lies? The kid misses his real mother every day and not once did he say he was happier living with the Charmings and her. On top of it all now her mother accuses the queen of rape? Day in and day out she realized more and more how this was not the fairytale princess she heard as growing up at all. The princess in reality was vain, hurtful and disrespectful of others. Haven't she won the mother lottery?

Ruby was stunned. No, actually she was paralyzed only this time Regina's magic had nothing to do with it. She could not believe what she had heard Snow say. The Henry thing had already made her blood boil and now this? Who is this woman she once called a friend? It saddens her to understand that she never really met her apparently.

"She never once hurt me Snow unlike what you have been doing ever since this curse broke."

Her words clearly made the woman she once believed to be a true friend confused if the face she was making was enough of proof.

"I don't understand it Ruby. You are safe in a clean environment you can say it. It's okay. I'm sorry if her hate towards me affected you to this level."

Ruby moved aiming for a throat when Belle stopped her so she was only able to hiss.

"Never once has Regina abused or hurt me in any kind of way; she has always been considerate in my whishes and boundaries. She always took me or me and never tried to change me or anything and don't you dare repeat this lies to anyone else because you have no idea what she went through an who she is."

The whole club was watching them; the music and noise was nonexistent as the crowd witnessed the very end of a friendship. Never had they seen someone speak like that to Snow and they only took the woman guilty because her own daughter was also sending daggers with her eyes.

"When will you realize Snow White that you are nobody especial? The world does not turn around you; you are no sun you are not even a star. You are pathetic and I'm ashamed of ever calling you a friend. I invited you here today hoping you could support me but you stupid pride got in the way of us once more.

You made them all call Regina the evil one when all she wanted was the love you took from her; the happiness you crushed every day. It was you and your family who destroyed her and pushed her to the darkness. She has been alone all her life but no more. I will NOT let you talk shit about her and blame her for your mistakes ever again."

Chest expanding to its maximum trying to breathe deeper so she can calm her wild beating heart and shaking hands pointing to this girl who proved to be some else today was the picture Ruby was providing to the show her birthday night had became.

"We are done Snow White."

Not one more glance was spared to the woman as Ruby called her friends to go and meet with the Queen at the D. Fortress. She should have gone with her guts and not accepted Snow's apology but she really hoped their friendship could be saved because of the care and love she once felt for the princess. How wrong she was. She could only hope now that this was not enough to take Regina away of the healing path she had been trailing.

* * *

_Reviews are always appreciated._ _Xo_


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go. This is a much bigger chapter and I really hope you guys like it. Don't forget to leave me a review so I can know your thoughts.
> 
> English is not my language so forgive any mistakes.
> 
> Only one very important thing is that Maleficent was never pregnant in this story.

They took Ruby's car but it was Emma behind the wheels. She was the less inebriated one after all.

"Where in the hell is this 'D whatever' place?"

Ashley was a pretty talkative drunk. But bets are all in the only reason she was this drunk it is because this is her first night baby less. Emma really can't imagine a life as an infant mother. It must definitely suck all those sleepless nights she always hears about.

That was so not for her; that line of thought only gets her back into how much she was wrong about Regina and how much her kid got the better end of the deal. She would have been horrible.

Fresh out of jail, nowhere to go and nothing to eat was just so not parental material. She figured since she never had a loving mother she could never be able to raise a child right; another thing Regina beat her to it. Cora was a bitch in Emma's opinion and she had only heard the rumors about her.

She knows in the end if someone is really bad and things spread; the only dirty to come out is to one in the top. If that already gave her chills imagine what the real deal must do. Better not get down that road today or ever.

But here is the thing even with all of that and being the Evil Queen the woman still managed to raise such a good-caring-smart little boy. Why was she the only one to see it among her mother's followers? Maybe they all do and are just a bunch of chickens afraid of standing up from Snow.

"It is D. Fortress and like I said before it is night club; kind of like the Rabbit Hole but so much better."

"Why have I never heard about it before? Have you Emma?"

The girl was sitting right behind her and when she went to ask the question she pushed Belle right into Ruby's lap and all but throw her body in the middle of the car.

"No, I have not."

"I'll say to you just like Regina did me. 'That dear, is a place for a more civilized crowd and not to all these street rats you find in the city."

The wolf tried to make it like Regina would do but it was really hard to copy a frisking queen so it just came out as if she was only now learning how to speak. The whole car laughed but Ashley who took upon herself to get offended by the comment.

"I'm civilized! I'm a princess."

This fairytale people were really something weird Emma though to herself.

"Okay, but the place is a private club Ash. I was only able to come in there before because I was with Regina; she is like a main member or something. For you to get in you need to have your name on the list which is why we didn't come here in the first place."

They reached their destination not a minute after; a faraway big mansion with a parking lot up front filled with classy and very expensive cars.

By the entrance there was two valets ready park the costumer's car. The big double doors were open as soon as the girls reached the porch and four man dressed in black tuxedo suits were right behind it. When they got in another guy came out of no were with a list and only after confirming their names did he let them pass through.

Ruby led the way up this double huge staircase that Emma had only seen on movies. The room they got in was just huge and so beautiful. The architecture from the place is what Emma believes to have come from the Renaissance and it felt like being inside a fucking castle. It was awesome in here and she is only talking about the structure.

They passed the people standing with a few of them complimenting Ruby and asking if she was here with Regina. One woman was like 'Have her call me Ruby. And let her know that next time she leaves town without a word or not inviting me along she better not show that sexy face here again' so strange if you take notice of all the diamonds popping from her collar. Ruby only laughed and told her she would pass her message to the queen.

They stopped in a dark red glass wall and completely out of the blue the wolf pressed the glass in what the savior came to realize was a button and all of the sudden there was like an open door leading to this small room surrounded by leather couches and a center table.

"She is not here."

Ashley had already gone in and flicked the lights on to do a better research of the place. Much to Emma's surprise the walls were see through on the inside but on the outside no one could see a thing. This place rocks big time.

Emma came back to the door and stood on Ruby's right side while the girl was making a signal to one of who the savior believes to be the manager. He was like 6 feet 4 tall, what? He was huge and so muscular dressed in a tailored suit. He had a big smile and was quite handsome.

"Hey Z, where is Regina? She said she would be here waiting for us but clearly she is not."

The tall man licked his lips and let out a dark little laugh while shaking his head from side to side and putting his hands on his pants side pockets.

"Don't worry I just saw her around; being Regina."

Emma frowned at his response.

1 - She never have been or heard of this place before tonight and was pissed because the club was amazing. Never in her life had she been anywhere as cool as here.

2 - All the people here really seemed like the Enchanted Forest finest and most of them Emma never really met. What the hell?

3 - They all talked about Regina with nothing but kind words; nothing like you would hear in Granny's. They truly respected her here.

4- What the fuck 'being Regina' was supposed to represent for this crazy guys? Was she killing, sassing, making someone lose their mind (with either hate or love), whatever else a queen likes to do? Or could it be all of the above?

Why must this woman be this incredibly sexy mystery begging to be resolved? Oh, how her life could be better and easier if Snow really was 'the fairest of them all' as Disney so stupidly stated and The Evil Queen was nothing more than an old empty woman with enough envy of said beauty to fill the space? Reality could be a real bitch most of times.

The woman was perfection that was for sure; from soft black hair all the way down smooth toned legs to killer heels. The heels were definitely staying if the sheriff ever gets the chance of having carnal and unbelievable hot sex with the ex-mayor.

Lucky for her Ruby apparently could not comprehend what the men meant as well.

"I means she eyed a new prey or rather and old one by the bar and went for the kill."

"Oh!"

That was a whine followed by a deep sigh. Shit! Had that came out from her mouth? Had her body really betrayed her like this in front of all these people? By the looks she was getting her answer was big neon yes writing in capital bold and italic letters. Can you blame her? No, not really but Snow on the other hand... It's just her luck being cockblocked by her mother so far along the road. Well not really cockblocked but you get her point.

Regina had been hitting on her the whole night and while still at the Rabbit Hole she could swerve she was in for a treat by the end of the night; than her stupid mother had to open her stupid mouth and drive or puff the woman from her dreams away and tight into someone's else bed. The woman's new investment must be prettier than her probably.

She hates her life now more than ever. No, forget that because she just spotted the queen at the bar talking animatedly to another blonde; only this one had on a beautiful form fitting black dress. She could only see the competition's behind but hell if the front view was as good as the one she was seeing she was definitely fucked. Only it was not by Regina and for sure not the way she expected.

"She is over there Ruby."

Well that was Belle crushing every hope Emma had of mistaking that glorious brunette by the bar with Regina. Who was she trying to play; of course that was the queen and not a look alike. But a girl can dream and the savior just knew by the end of the night her dream will be filled with plump red lips and sexy rusty voice.

"Yeah that is her but the woman with her I really don't know." Ruby was actually surprised by it. Her granny owned a dinner and she works there. She thought she knew everyone in tow but not.

"That's Maleficent, Ruby. They have always had a thing even back then. The palace used to go wild whenever these two were together but they got into a fight. Another one in fact; I think they invented the toxic destructive kind of relationship."

Who the hell was this guy to know so much about the queen and her life in the castle? Wait what did he say? No.

"Holly shit she's Maleficent? Like the dragon David says he fought?"

Emma did not believe her bad luck. The woman who stole her queen's eye not only was really hot but also is like a mystic creature? Oh man! How one can compete whit that?

"Yep, that is her in deed. You guys would never believe all the things Maleficent did every time she found out about another one of Regina's affairs. It was so funny! You could never tell when they were just fucking of fighting. Mal literally once caught the queen naked with a Duke and set the guy on fire. Like literally."

As the men spoke the five girls had her eyes widening with every word. But Ruby's face was the better one. She had a mix between pissed and excited.

"No fucking way Z.! How come I don't know about this? Deceiving liar that one; holding onto the good stuff. Oh! But she so is going to talk tomorrow."

Belle was clearly amused by her girlfriend's state of distress. Emma and all the girls were catching a glimpse of what it was the wolf's and Regina's friendship. Is it bad if the savoir her thought it be like a cold far away kind of relationship and not this stupid girly thing?

"I'll go call her, hold on."

As the men went towards the queen Emma could just not hold herself.

"Who is he, Rubs?"

"He was one of Regina's favorites black guards and is one of the D. Fortress owners."

"Is everyone here people from her kingdom? I though they all hated her."

"Not really, most of them are but there is also a few from others kingdoms that were also affected by the curse. And no, is not all who hates her; only a few villagers who lived under her rein actually do. Snow's followers were more concentrated in George's lands."

Emma had no time to continue with the little interrogation because the queen reached them. Ruby's eyes followed Regina's and Maleficent's every move and when the queen was at arm's length the wolf let out and evil smirk that could almost match the ones the ex-mayor is so used to do. Regina must have understood the reasons behind it if the little laugh she made was anything to go by.

"Hello Ruby. It's nice to meet you and happy birthday. And you two must be Belle and Emma right?"

Damn… Anyone can feel the power and easiness to command just irradiating from this other blonde woman. Her voice carries is strong but have a sense of grace that could be just as much mesmerizing as Regina's. Yeah, she can believe their relationship was not the easy going type; two head-strong, powerful sorceress and incredible hot woman together? They must have been consuming fire all along; whether in bed or not.

"Hey."

"Yep, that is me. Weird that Regina told you my name and not Miss Swan ha."

She was bouncing in her feet with her hands in her pockets trying to play it cool but her excitement was clear even to the dragon who had never met her before tonight. Yes, it was ridiculous of her to be so happy about the fact that Regina Mills had introduced her as EMMA and not Miss Swan but fuck it. Maybe not all is fucked up.

"Oh, dear. Sorry, but I only know your name because you are sheriff. Didn't you were going to be here; Regina didn't mention it."

The savior face fell so hard that her whole body almost went along. How stupid of her to believe Regina would have talked about her one glace to see a raise of sexy eyebrow got her whishing she could do the witch and puff herself to oblivion. Yeah that sounds good.

The man said his goodbyes to keep rounding the club and the women made their way inside the wall or whatever. Emma's head was dead with shame.

They talked as if sitting in front of them were not do sociopaths who loved cursing ridiculous princess for their dumbness.

Emma wanted to say something to Regina about the lie Snow had told but had not found the right time. Surely if she dropped this bomb here the woman would get mad and just leave. After the first thirty minutes she gave up on that and decided to enjoy the rest of the night like Regina was doing.

Mal (as the sexy ex-lover brunette kept calling her) and Regina cold for sure hold their liquor. They were throwing booze down their throat and still had the poise and composure of pure monarchs but to her surprise the two women only shared a few knowing looks and smiles but other than that they only talked and acted normal. On contrary to the nonstop teasing and bickering both the sheriff and the wolf were expecting. Hell the whole table were after hearing a few juicy details from that Z. guy.

Regina had slowed down her flirt with the savior and Emma thinks it was for the dragon's sakes; how thoughtful and just well shocking. But every once in a while queen you throw little winks and say something with double meaning to her.

The first one to leave was Ashley and Louise and after a while it was Maleficent's turn. When the words 'I think I'm going dears' came out from the woman's mouth Regina gave a shy little smile that the savior had never seen before but found it so sweet anyone could get diabetes if exposed to it for too long.

"I'll walk you out."

Emma watched her go and lost herself into her thoughts while Ruby and Belle enjoyed each other in the other end of the table. In her mind the queen was gone for an eternity but the clock in her wrist as if by mocking only moved to show it have been for three minutes. She was drunk and she knew it. This night really had taken a turn of events nor expected. Her mother was a hypocrite and she hated herself for sticking to it; Gosh she was so needy it was pathetic. With is way she drank so much tonight; tomorrow would come with a hell of a head ache and a hung over from hell but all those thoughts were forgotten when her queen came back.

Before the woman could even speak Ruby got into action and asked if her friend could take her home.

"I have a better idea. See you tomorrow dear."

The two remaining women only got the chance to see a frown in the wolf's pretty face before she was enveloped in a purple mist.

"Where did you take her?"

"To where the birthday present I got for her is. A lovely suite up in this building; perfect for her and Belle."

"Cool."

The savior was talking and inclining her body to the side Regina was in but to that in her drank estate was a terrible idea. She lost her balance and almost went face down to the floor but Regina caught her. Well, Regina's magic did it but she would die saying that the queen actually helped her and touched her.

"Emma, are you okay?"

* * *

Regina got to the club and went straight to the bar. She needs a drink to help calm her nerves and she needs it fast. Her body was screaming for something stronger; just a little something to get that edge off but she refused to cave. Magic was still going wild inside her after the attack to Snow and add drugs to that would be a bad, no horrible idea and she knows it. She also knows that to heal her mind she must heal her body as well and the effects that thing will leave inside her won't be gone in the morning like the alcohol.

Her second drink was in the end when a hand came to rest in her lower back. She knew that hand, she knew that touch no matter what estate she was in. She looked at her right and saw her.

"Mal, you came."

"I said I would, didn't I? You started without me."

The woman said as she took a sit beside the queen. Regina moved her head back and dropped it low with a sigh.

"Oh! I started a long ago."

"What happened?"

"Well, Snow happened; as always." She took a long breath; a move Mal knew was to calm her nerves and looked back at her old friend.

"We were at the Rabbit Hole celebrating Ruby as I told you. My plan was to only loose the snow flake there and get here at the D.F. to end the night. Needless to say she did something to get me out of my mind and I hit her. Broke her little nose and got her blood in my hand."

The dragon only laughed a deep rich laugh as a response. Regina always managed to surprise her; it is unbelievable how even after all these years she still can.

"I cleared their memories after it and came here. I lost track of time so I'm sorry if I got you waiting."

"No you didn't. I just arrived and saw you sitting here. The rest of the girls are going to come?"

"I believe so, but by car so they might take a while. I'm happy you are here."

Maleficent could give fire but she could also put it out. The queen was pissed and now with only a few words she was good again.

"I am as well."

They talked about the word outside Storybrooke and their life after the curse broke until Z. came to call them. One look and Regina knew what was on the wolf's mind. She could bet her sweet ass that the man must had said something about her relationship with the dragon and the waitress was dying to know about it.

As the night went she stopped being so obvious about her flirting with Emma mostly for not wanting to make Mal angry or feel disrespected; also because she was no longer doing it out of spite but because get the savior going with only words was actually pretty funny. She had previously though the woman would stick to her obnoxious mother at the Rabbit Hole but was happy to be proven otherwise.

When Maleficent got up to leave Regina accompanied her to the door.

"Tonight was really good Regina. Thank you for inviting me."

"I missed you Mal and the friendship we used to have. I know most of the reason we got our different ways is my fault but I would really like if you could forgive."

"A reality where I could not forgive you doesn't exist, Regina; you should know that. Just like you know I came by magic so bringing me to the door is pointless."

The dragon could just no leave without messing with her and the queen had missed it so very much. She chuckled and watched her old friend disappear leaving in the air that aphrodisiac smell only Mal's magic possesses.

When she came back Ruby was more than ready to leave and have her way with her girl and Regina knew they would love the place they were going to spend the night.

Emma had drank a big amount during the night and so far was holding on really well. It had actually amazed the queen how strong for alcohol the savior could be. As she sat thought the younger girl almost fell from her chair in what she believed was an attempt to get closer to her. Taking pity she put her magic to good use and got the blonde back on her sit only to see the twisted look the girl had on.

"Emma, are you okay?"

Emma had no time to answer and the queen knew just why. A flick of her hand and they were in the bathroom with Miss Swan head down the toilet while she held her hair; the noises the girl was making one would think she could be dying.

After the wave of nausea was over the savior started to cry and what a sexy view that was. Ugh! Regina hates drunken people for this particularly reason. What a sight; the sheriff in a tight embrace with the club's toilet and muttering things that made no sense while none other than the "Evil Queen' was saving the savior's hair of becoming a casualty.

"Emma calm down, I can't help you if I don't get what you are saying."

Try as she might but comprehend the drunken woman was impossible. She was saying something related with Snow; that much the queen had gathered but what that was she could not tell. Giving up and accepting her fate Regina puffed both she and the almost unconscious girl to her home once she stopped getting sick; more exactly to the guest room and changed her from her clothes. Tomorrow would be a long day.

She could have sent Emma home but two things stopped her. One, she would not have Henry see an inebriated woman and get his example from her. No matter if he no longer wanted her and had come to hate her. Two, the savior must have gotten herself in a fight with her mother for wanting to come along instead of standing by her. The savior will probably drown herself in her own puke if not supervised and knowing how selfish her once step-daughter is that is exactly what is going to happen. Leave it to Snow White to let people die because they don't bow down to her every command.

* * *

_So what do you think Emma will do when she realises she in deed ended up in the queen's house but not how she was expecting it? And who is excited to see Henry in the next one?_


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next one as always I hope you like it :D
> 
> Henry's point of view, here we go.

The day after his birthday was pretty chaotic. The house was upside down. Emma was constantly looking at him like a kicked puppy; David was acting cool but was clearly showing more interest in him that he had before. But what really made it all so weird was Snow; she was not just playing cool assuming the worse was over. No, she moved around as if nothing had happened and it all was good; as if she had not forgotten about him and was not in the slightest guilty about it.

His book is a farce he that now; what kind of hero can be so self-centered? She had apologized last night but the kid could tell she only did it for heat of the moment and not because she held herself responsible for any of it.

He could no longer stay in that house with those people today because he feared he would just blow in their faces.

"Emma, can we go to the dinner?"

By the way the savior's face lit up he knew it was game. Good. They decided on walking there instead of taking the car and Henry would be lying of he said he did mostly to see if he could catch a glimpse of his mother. No, he could not call her that anymore after all he had done to her; he had to police himself because that is word the first one in his mind when he thinks about the queen.

The streets were vacant; but not of people. No, they were stripped bare of colors, of feelings and of everything they once had that made Storybrooke his home. Funny how the city itself had not changed at all and the one who was wrong and ill-fitting was him; the bow who spent every day of his life in that place and he never before felt like he did not belong there. At least up until he started to screw it up like he has been doing for the past year. How today he wishes he never read that stupid book or that he approached the subject better than he had. How for the life of him he judged the nurturing and caring mother he had for a cold Evil Queen that only pretended to care for him.

He wonders if this is how Regina felt every time he distanced himself from her or was rude and unconsidered of her feelings. On the top of all he did what he regrets the most is saying to her face with so much conviction that she was not is real mother.

He may have been only ten back then but he knew then the meaning of his words and actions; he will never be like Snow and forever put his blame on others. He may no longer be a Mills but he would honor the name he once had.

They made it to Granny's and ordered a milkshake; Emma was not really thoughtful of how much sugar he should be or shouldn't be eating or even how it would affect his next meal like the queen was. Hell if he was being honest he even missed the vegetables she made every night to him; she is a queen and yet she would go to the stove and cook his food for him. For the best kid in his class he was quite stupid when it came to reality; she proved her love to him with every move and he dared to suspect that feeling.

He could not be more ashamed of himself if he tried. The guilt is eating him away with every breath he takes; the loneliness being a weight to heavy for him to carry. Yes, he had Emma there and sometimes the Charmings but none of them knew him; he was living with strangers when he could have been living with the woman who knows his every move. The woman who gave up everything just for him and he took it for granted.

He was too absolved in his thoughts and thankfully so was his birthmother; the restaurant was not full but not really empty either but the thoughts spinning in his mind made the noises of the people talking almost inaudible. But one thing or rather one name took him out of his daydreaming. Regina. The couple sitting in the both in front of him was talking about her and her departure. Wait what? She left town according to what he understood sometime about one and two weeks ago. Apparently she hasn't been seen in town for that period and some people had saw her car driving towards the town line full off bags.

She did it. He told her he wanted her gone and once again she did what he said. He thought that giving Emma his parental rights was as far as she was willing to go but he was so wrong.

She left the place she built as a second chance or herself because of his stupidity; he forced her to leave him because of it as well. She is gone now off to rebuild the life that he and his blood family damaged to the point of no return. He wonders if she will find someone to love and appreciate her like she should have been all along or if maybe she will adopt another child or even give birth to one and if that child will give her the unconditional love he should have given to her just like she did him.

His life flashes before his eyes.

He remembers every time he was scared and she cradled him to chest and rocked him from side to side whispering promises of care and devotion.

He watches all the times he came back home hurt from school and how she would tend for his every wound with nothing but love.

He aches for the lullabies she will never sing for him again when he get sick in that smooth and motherly voice.

He cries for how his life could have turned out had she not taken with wide open arms and heart and for how incredibly mistaken he was when it came to her.

And he dies for the love he will no longer receive now that he pushed her away to the point of no return.

Ruby was passing by to the next costumer when she sees the tear roll down his young face and he does not notice it or her until she is sitting by his side and wiping that away. He jumps from the touch not expecting it but the comfort the wolf's hand provides makes that ache in his chest undeniably unbearable.

He sees Emma and he cries harder for putting her in this position as well; he wanted the best for all and he thought he was doing it by looking for her and making her brake the curse; but the truth is that he only brought pain to his life and to the ones he surrounds with his actions.

"What is wrong Henry?"

Ruby's voice was calm; giving him the support he hopelessly needs and also low enough to not alarm the other patrons enjoying their meal of what was disturbing him.

"Is she really gone?"

His small voice gave the waitress no doubt about who he was referring to; mainly after what happened the night before. The savior was glued to her spot; not speaking or moving only now noticing the despair her son was going thorough and realizing the reason of his quietness for the past minutes.

"She is Hen. She left the day she gave you to Emma legally."

"Oh…I see. Thank you Ruby for telling me the truth."

"Sure, you know you can count on me." The sight was breaking the brunette's heart but that little she could do; she haven't even spoken to Regina yet and truthfully she was scared for the queen knowing she was all alone out there.

"Can we go now Emma?"

* * *

Days passed after that talk and blurred into weeks until they became months; but there was not a day that had gone by that he had not missed her. Her name he didn't say anymore for some lame thinking that it would make it hurt less when he thought of her. Her birthday passed as well and he questioned if she had today someone to hold her and kiss her like he did every year; he even wonders if she thought of him during it. Does she think of him at all?

He hopes so at the same time he hopes not. He don't her to miss him because he does not feel like she should but he doesn't want her to forget all moments they spent that meant the world to him and that are one of the few things that keeps him going through the days.

Seven months goes by and he is still living with Snow in an apartment that will never feel like home. In school he still has good grades but not because he believes to be important but because he thinks that she would be proud of him for it and to this day he still seeks her approval in a failed attempt to keep her closer to him even if just in thought.

Emma is doing better; much better in fact. She is becoming something like a mom to him but he fears the dynamic will never be the same of the one he shared with Regina before it all.

Snow it's the same as always navigating through people's life making silent demands no one seems to see but Ruby and Emma. What innerves him the most? Even seeing Snow's White true colors his birthmother stays.

She stays through her mother trying to mold her into her standards, trying to control her even though Emma is an adult and she clearly lost her chance after putting a baby in a tree to a land unknown to them. He also stopped believing that was for a greater good; they could have fought for the savior who was nothing but a child instead of just making her an easy prey in world where there is no such thing as a happy ending.

Every day was the same to Henry. Get up, go to school, get back from it and do his home work, hopefully play his video game in piece and go to sleep. But today he felt odd. People were staring at him the whole day an when at home his grandparents and Emma were acting very strange; well stranger than usual anyway. The next day he also felt it and was sure now something was up and was being hidden from him. What could the entire city know and he did not?

After school and the movement in the apartment made him remember it was Ruby's birthday today and it would be girl's night out as Snow kept on repeating nonstop to Emma and David. Maybe that was it; maybe people had found that his grandmother and the wolf were friends once more and were gossiping about it behind the 'royal's backs'.

It was ten and a half that his world crashed down. Snow got home fuming and he woke up by the noises she was making in her angry haze; David was trying and failing at making her calmer and stop breaking the house.

"Honey calm down, you are going to wake Henry up like this. What is wrong?"

Little did the fake price knew that he had never really fallen asleep; he was only pretending to do so when David when to check on him but was in fact reading his comics pass his curfew.

"Calm down? She is not back for more than two days David and she already made it all wrong."

"Regina? She was at the party? What did she do?"

No. He heard it wrong. He must have. She is back? Lost in his thoughts he did not realize he had moved away from the wall and was in plain view for the two grownups.

"Henry, you should be sleeping."

David voice was stern but also showed fear; fear he had heard he bets. Snow was wide eyed and mouth agape not really knowing what to do.

"Is she back?"

His voice left no room for argument or lies. He wanted the truth; it all made sense now. The looks he was getting were related to the woman who raised him and her return.

"Yes Henry, she is."

* * *

_So what have you guys thought? What do you think he will do now that he knows the truth?_


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next one. Hope you like it.
> 
> English is not my language as you are well aware by now. Should I just stop writing this message? hahaha

After leaving Emma in the guest room Regina went to her bedroom to see Josh packed with popcorn and a bear cooler watching a movie in her bed. The nerve of the man is unbelievable an while had it been anyone else would have been set on fire all the queen wanted after this day was to cuddle the night away with her best friend.

Josh saw something had happened only by the way she was holding herself together and looking at him with scared and needy eyes. He was happy he gave up on going over the nearest town to have his own 'boy's night out' tonight and decided to stay in instead.

"Hey, what is wrong?"

He never got an answer though; all he got was a semi naked Regina lying in her side of the bed with her head in his chest. She was trying to calm down so she could talk about what was troubling her. They have done this many times ever since their friendship enveloped into something with meaning and not just a person to get drunk with and fuck.

She was so strong and he hates how she doubts herself over it. But she is a survivor; she has been through so much and still fights everyday just to stay alive. She is better now and he knows he plays a big part on it; she never had someone before and that breaks his heart in too many pieces.

* * *

The warmth of his embrace and the certainty of his care for me is the only reason I always come to him. He is my ground, my wall, he is the reason I stand and he is my all. Yes, we have sex and sometimes we do act like a couple but above all the things he is my support; he is the one I know that I can count on no matter what.

"I did something today that I'm not proud of."

He had put his bottle and the popcorn on the floor as soon as she had moved to lie on top of him. His hands becoming empty but he gave them things to do after the queen had made herself comfortable in his chest; with one of his hands he was combing her tresses while the other one was making little up and down patterns on her back just like he knew she loves.

Neither movement stops with her first word just like she knew they wouldn't; he doesn't judge her he only listens. He also never rushes her he always waits in silence until she is ready to begin her tale.

"It was all fine until Snow said something and it drove me right to the edge. Well actually she had been trying to innerve me ever since I got there but I was managing to control myself so far; until her last jab."

Her voice was getting weaker and smaller with every move of her lips and was also getting shakier. She took another deep calming breath to try and keep her emotions in check. Not by shame of them but for knowing that if she let go of them she will not be able to finish talking and not talking about it it's what she knows she can not do.

Saying things out loud helps her face her fears and to heal. The pain in her chest, that feeling of dread and that madness trying to break free to consume her body becomes so small when she voices them that is freeing. To have someone is freeing.

"I could take anything Jo; but not that."

The first tear to drop opened the way to a whole damn flood; the wound too fresh for the words said to her to not sting like hell.

"She said he was thrilled to have me gone and while I could contest every other mean and stupid thing she had previously said only to hurt me I could not do it this time. He said it to me how much he didn't wanted me and to have that thrown into my face and to know that I had truly lost made me angry. But not angry for not being able to have a comeback for her; I didn't lose a battle with her. What I lost was the war I've been fighting with everyone who have ever crushed me and made me feel less than what I am and what you made me believe I deserved.

I saw Cora saying I was not enough, I saw my father not loving me enough to stop my pain, I saw an old man hurting me for not being his loved wife, I saw a monster urging me to the darkest of paths only for his pleasure, I saw the darkness making me its prisoner with no one to pull me out of it.

I saw myself begging to be let go; to be allowed to die and make the pain stop. I saw hurt in other people's faces acting like relief to me; to know I was no longer the only one in pain.

I saw a baby boy bringing me light bright enough to make me blind. But what hurt the most was to watch that white fade away and blend with the black with every hateful word that boy said to me. My anger was for my failure and my inability to be loved."

Every sentence was spoken in true words, in real feelings that were breaking her bones and making her cry out from the pain.

"What did you do?"

"Punched her right in the face and broke her nose. But that is not the worse part; the real bad thing is that I loved it. I felt that adrenaline rush I remember being addicted to every time I saw someone bleed out from my actions. To have that red panting my hands was like being hypnotized and I was gone for minutes before the girls came to stop me.

I froze everyone to buy me enough time to think and figure it out what my next move would be. I was so ashamed for doing it that I wanted it gone from their mind so I wiped it from their memories and made it look like it didn't happened but I know it did. Just like I know I'll never forget it."

"What did you do after it?"

"I left and went to D. Fortress to drink my mistakes away. I was there until now but Emma got sick so I brought her in."

"Emma Swan is here?"

"Yes, she got really drunk and I know she fought with Snow after I left or at the very least did not make her mother whishes so I figured it was best for her to stay in the guest room."

"You really don't see it, do you?"

He sounded strange like he could not believe it. But believe in what? That the woman had gotten herself wasted? Why?

"See what?"

"The woman is the daughter of the one who inflicted so much pain to you; she took your child away. You had every reason to leave her to be eaten by alligators yet you brought her here, to your home for her safety? You changed so much Regina. Yes, you will have falling outs but everyone does; what matters is for you to acknowledge them and try to fix them. You have so much love in you it scares me sometimes; you are lovable and you do love. Those who done those despicable things to you deserve only the worse; but you are far better than them. Please never again doubt that. You matter Regina, don't you forget it."

Words to her were not needed after what she had heard now. He was right she had a falling out but she will get to a point where she is good. She will be whole; she believes it. She believes in herself, in what she can achieve.

Sleep takes its time to come, her head filled with too many thoughts. She stays there in his arms in silent watching but not really seeing whatever is on the TV; the talk is over. She does not say anything back nor did Josh expect her to.

When her body succumbs to the tiredness of the night and let her mind drift into dreams; she goes feeling cherished, welcomed and safe. Tomorrow will be a new day to try and win another fight and she will not back down from it.

* * *

The morning came and with it came the hang over; thank the heavens for her magic. The bed was empty and she was tangled with Josh's pillow. One look at the clock at her nightstand to see it showing 11:18 am.; late breakfast it is then.

She took a quick shower to rid herself of the alcohol and properly wake her up. Dressed in a really short short jeans and a red t-shirt she made her way downs stairs barefoot to look for her friend. She found him in the kitchen cooking what smelled like the ambrosia from the gods.

"Good morning."

He turned around and gave her the biggest of the smiles.

"Good morning to you too, sleepyhead. Speaking of head, how is yours treating you?"

"Not too bad; it is not something that a little magic couldn't fix it."

"You cheater!" He mock said with a hand in his chest as if he was surprised by it.

"Haha knock it off okay. What are you making me?"

She approached the stove trying to see what he was doing to shut up her grumbling stomach but he blocked her with his body and opened his arms to the side to act like a bigger shield from her prying eyes.

"Who says it's for you?"

"The fact that you are in my house does."

An arch of eyebrow and he was gone laughing at her. A sweet care free moment between then that was interrupted by a very amused and super guilty and envious looking Emma Swan when she got caught staring at the par.

"So, she lives. I woke up with your snore lady. I could have sworn there was a truck driver in this house instead of a blacked out woman drooling in the guest room."

"Hum... Hi."

Regina does not know what made her so called cold heart crack up more. She was equally torn between Josh smug face for making the savior want to dig a hole on the ground and die over there; or if it was the said savior's expression of shame combined with those burning red cheeks and chest looking like a lost child in the queen's night wear. But she was doubling over with laughter strong enough to shake her whole body anyway. She should have recorded this; she is sure of it.

When the queen is able to get her breath back Josh is back on the stove asking Emma if she eats pancakes with bacon and eggs and the blonde's response was to nod her head as furiously as she could with her killer head ache.

"I'm Josh Stronghold by the way."

"Emma Swan."

"Yeah… Regina juice or vodka?"

Sitting now on the table waiting for the food and gesturing for the savior to do the same she gives the man a deathly glare.

"You are so funny today. Did you finally fell out of bed and broke your scull?"

"I would have taken you with me and since you woke up in the up side of the bed I'll say we're good."

Emma was looking at them back and forth and could not believe her eyes. A barefoot casual dressed and friendly Regina was something she never thought she would live the day to see. Their relationship seemed really strong and if she got it right they slept in the same bed last night. Odd, Regina flirted with her the whole night last night to really have a man waiting for her. She had thought the mysterios man was only rumors but clearly they weren't. But right now she can't hate him; not with the food filled plate he just put in front of her.

The silent was filing the place and the only sounds were the forks hitting expensive ceramics and the water running in the sink as the man rinse the dishes he used to make them food.

"Thanks for bringing me here Regina."

"Yes, well you did almost pass out on me and I could not just leave you there; especially after you kept calling for your mother in an angry tone. Figured she would be in a bad humor after you decided to come with Ruby and you wouldn't want to be there."

"You got that right; she threw a fit after you…hum… left"

"It's okay dear, Josh knows the truth."

"Anyway she got angry I was not going to follow her and we fought so your thoughts were correct. Yep, to wake up in the softest bed wasn't so bad either."

The queen chuckled amused so far. The woman could actually not be so bad all the times.

"Do you want to talk?"

"I don't know. It's just you may know this but Snow is not really what I expected, you know?"

"Oh I do, I can assure you."

"She just paints herself so good when she is not. She does things as if she was entitled to it; as if what she says goes and that is a final. She walks around all high and might but she does not really care about others and their feelings and it makes me angry. For a hero she is a really crap one."

Emma was rambling so much that she missed the way the queen's posture changed with her every word but as she moved her head to the side to look at the ex-mayor she saw what she haven't seen for a while. In front of her now was no longer carefree Regina; it was amazing the woman was still dressed casual but her demeanor gave her the whole 'Evil Queen' concept. It was scary.

Regina could not believe her ears and neither could Josh for the way his body froze completely. The queen had brought Emma to her house and took care of her and had to listen to this shit. How dared her? This savior was clueless to the truth just like her mother.

"I see. You need to leave Miss Swan."

She took her plate and got up; no longer hungry after this. The blonde was frozen in place as it seemed and looking at her with wide pissed off eyes.

"What? You told me to talk and not you 'Miss Swan' me? What is your problem?"

Regina eyed her with fire blazing her eyes and Josh moved to rest his hand in the small of her back for support.

"What is my problem?"

Her voice was dripping venom like never before. The vein in her forehead making its appearance proving the state of anger the brunette was now in. Her whole body speaking louder than her words by going completely still; standing like that she was taller and damn lot more scary.

"My problem is that you are one hell of a hypocrite. How can you open that mouth of yours to talk about your mother as if you were not the same? I could have gotten you arrested; all you could do was to bring my child home and leave so the terms of the contract you signed would not have been broken. YOU asked ME if I loved my son and chose to destroy my relationship with him either way. YOU came into my home and took my light from me even though you had no right to. YOU DID IT BECAUSE YOU COULD. Mommy said it was okay to take my all from me and you did it. And above all you come throw it in my face in my own home; how are you any different from her? That is why you need to leave. Good bye Miss Swan, do have an awful day."

Regina waved her hand and changed the savior's clothes and made the woman disappear out of her kitchen and show up somewhere in Main Street without giving Emma the chance to say anything back and make things worse to herself.

The queen was shaking once more but out of pure rage now. Fuck the Charmings and their stupid genes.

* * *

_So what did you think? Let me know in a review :D_


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to say unless enjoy and forgive my mistakes :D

"Yes Henry, she is."

Any doubt the boy had when away with those words. She was here; he thought she had left forever but she came back.

"You saw her?"

"Yes."

Snow said it with a type of anger he had never heard before. Oh how wrong he once was. It is weird how much acquaintanceship proved the boy mistaken with his previously beliefs of who these characters were and how not true was the book's description of them.

"She has been back for how long?"

Henry knew he was navigating in high waters but he had to know. He knew that if he didn't ask all the questions he had going in his mind he would never sleep.

"She was first seen in town only about two days ago."

She has been here for two days? All the Storybrooke residents must have been laughing at his expenses during this oblivious time and that is for sure. They all realized the changes in the boy's behavior after the queen's departure; he went from a talkative and spontaneous little kid who loved adventures to a more closed off and shy kid. Her absence clearly taking its toll on him; though most of his grandmother's friends only says he is acting like that for fear that she may come back and take him away from his real family. As if the Charmings were still considered to be 'his real family' anymore; no my friends, that ship has sailed long months ago.

"Did any of you know it?"

"Henry..."

"Yes."

David was straight on like he always is; he believes the once shepherd to be the one with the highest of the morals between the grownups around here. He wasn't good good but he was better than his wife when it came to face his mistakes and to admit he was wrong. An easy example is how Snow instead of answering his last question she is trying to sugar coach him into something else entirely; she only projects her voice in that sweet irritating tone when she is going to force you into her way of thinking and the beginning of a headache is prove of said annoying way to speak.

But the point is not even how he wishes to every star on the sky and every possible God out there to shut that woman right now. The point is that they all knew of his adoptive mother's return and he didn't. Gosh, he misses her so damn much; every bit of her that he came to know while growing up. It's simple to pretend that you are okay with someone who is gone from your life when you strongly believe you will never see that someone's face or hear their voice and breath in their unique smell that gives you memories of home and affection; but she is back and with her the pain that her loss brings him intensifies to its extreme.

She is only streets away from his reach once again. Not that he thinks of going to the place he in secrecy still calls home. No, he will see her but that will have to be in public; surely she would shut the door in his face if he came to the mansion and knock on that white big door that holds entry to all the things he once had and threw away in a stupid move but that he now reached the conclusion that he wants it back. She probably even changed the locks so his key wouldn't work any longer after the way he treated her; not that he deserves any less for being a stupid brat. Come to think of it again it probably remains the same; what is the point of changing a lock to a house she most definitely believes he wants nothing to do with? None. But she is wrong. Oh, so wrong.

Snow must have gotten sick of talking (not likely) or she said something is waiting for a comeback from the kid (definitely a more accurate option); but since he has not paid attention to anything at all that came out from her mouth he hopes that if he just stares at her she will be satisfied. No such luck but his life saver (maybe David can still be a hero after all) came into action.

"Henry, just like your grandmother said it's been a long night and it's also long past your sleep time. So maybe we all should go rest and anything else you with to talk we can do it in the morning, okay?"

He wanted to ask more but he was well aware that it would be pointless now that Snow had made her mind so he only bid them goodnight and went to the room he shared with Emma on the flat's second floor. Lying in bed he is trying to come up with the perfect plan to get the queen's attention in a way that does not make her hate him more.

He knows it's a long shot but he really expects that one day she can at the very least forgive him for treating her like crap and putting a woman he had no knowledge of in front of her; the woman who raided him with so much love and gave him all he ever wanted.

* * *

At first when she woke she was a bit disoriented; she was lying in the most comfortable bed in the whole entire world, in a fancy looking bedroom and in what seemed to be some really expensive PJs. A mild panic attack and two minutes later she remembered the night before and where she must be. She will never forget the soft touch of the queen's magic preventing her fall, or the way the woman held her hair while she puked her life away in that club (gross! She probably lost any chance of having sex with the dark sexy brunette after that horrendous episode), but most specially she remembers how the woman took care of her and made sure she was alright before leaving her to fall in her so needed slumber.

To get out of that bed was almost impossible; her body cried out as soon as her feet hit the ground already missing the soft mattresses and pillows. Emma decided to get down stairs in the clothes she had slept in; the only problem was: how to get down stairs? Opening the bedroom door she saw a big hallway with many other doors and in the end of it two bifurcations; well one of them must lead her downs stairs. Her stomach told her to go right and he never fails her. This house was as huge as she thought and even more classy then she believed it to be. Half way down the stairs to the first floor is when she heard noises of people talking and always the curious one she fastened her paths but kept them as quiet as she could. The view in the kitchen left the savior with her mouth agape.

A ridiculous handsome man was blocking the stove from a very tiny, barefoot, makeup free and smiley Regina. The carefree posture and the rich honest laugh coming from her gave the blonde a visual of what the kid's live growing up must have been when there was just the two of them but now the kid no longer lived here and now the queen shared her smiles and happiness with a tall hot dude. Typical; her jealousy made her want to hate the guy but the peace and the love irradiating from the uptight ex mayor gave a pause to her angry bone.

She was mesmerized by the scene no doubt and to get a better angle she had to push her head a little forward and into the kitchen and that is how she got caught starring at the pair. She honestly believed Regina to snap at her and put the savior in her place; a place that was beneath the powerful sorceress but nothing like that happened.

"So, she lives. I woke up with your snore lady. I could have sworn there was a truck driver in this house instead of a blacked out woman drooling in the guest room."

The guy was... Well she does not know what he was up to because the fit of laughter the queen had gotten herself into was too contagious not to stare.

"So, do you want some breakfast while the queen keeps laughing at your expensive?"

"Okay."

Yeah, maybe the dude was alright.

Regina called her to sit and they ate making small talk. Fuck this woman had been so considerate of her yesterday and is even putting herself in line so the savior can say what was bordering her last night.

That is how Emma fucked it all up; leave it to the blond girl to end a good conversation and a promise of a friendship with the queen with her big stupid mouth.

When Emma came to her senses she was standing in the middle of Main Street in last night's clothes a huge hangover and so much guilt; she was so dumb. How could she had thrown it all away with Regina? The woman was right and she was the hypocrite one; fuck she really is just like her mother.

The savior did nothing if not take what didn't belong to her and destroy Regina's life along the way and was stupid enough to complain about Snow's same actions.

Well shit!

"Kill me now, please."

* * *

_So that was it. Next one we will have Henry and Regina. WHAT! hahahaha_

_Leave me a review and tell me what you think :B_

_**Spoiler alert:**  one will see the other while the other remains oblivious to it._


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go guys. It's small but the next one will be a bit bigger and also I didn't want to start something in here and not finish it.
> 
> English is not my language so forgive me for my mistakes.
> 
> Thanks to all of you for leaving me reviews. They make me really happy :D

He woke up alone in his bedroom; apparently Emma's night must have been long and hopefully good because he had noticed Emma to be quite on the edge for some time and needed a relaxing outing or whatever girls do went they are together. Well, she did leave with Snow to Ruby's birthday so she probably also saw the queen and that is a really good thing in his mind what he does not know is if like his grandmother she also got angry and stormed out of the place they were celebrating the date what would be not so great.

He knows that even is the savior still don't know him very much in these months they have been living in the same apartment she has became aware of his depression for missing the queen. That is the solo reason he believes that no matter how the night ended up that when his birthmother gets back from whatever place she slept she will give him some details about the night and how his adoptive mother is.

She must still be beautiful he thinks. He have always found her beauty inside and out to be enormous while growing up but all of the boys from his school made sure to let him know just how much hot she really was on the outside and that was the factor that mattered the most to them. He honestly thought with his ten year old mind that once the curse was broken and everyone got their memory back that the talking about her body and lips would stop but he was dead wrong because they only intensified with it.

It would seem teenage boys love leathers and a lot of cleavage when it came to woman; something The Evil Queen displayed a lot back on those days. The graphic details of her clothing and the way she acted towards people using her body as leverage he overheard one time made him really question if they were really talking about the woman who raised him and not some other crazy witch. Having your mother as a freaking 'sex symbol' sucks harder than being the Evil Queen's/Scary Mayor kid; some boys where even angry with him after Regina left because it would mean they no longer would get to droll over her.

GROSS!

Being honest, he does prefer when they make fun of him because she abandoned him like Emma did instead when they do it because she was evil and he can't defend her. No, if he is truly being honest he must admit that he always could do it but he was just too much of a chicken to act upon his thoughts or he was still in denial about her identity. None of them could be a problem to him anymore; if he wanted her to like him again he would need to get is things straight and start acting like a man and not a stupid boy.

As from now on he will no longer stand to people calling her names without doing a thing to stop it or to make them realize that she no longer was that person who wanted to bring pain to others. He acted like an idiot back then but he remembers now how she is the exact the opposite of heartless and evil; at least to him she is or was. Whatever. His point is that she has always been nothing but lovable and caring to him even when he continually hurt her feelings with angry words and disrespectful moves.

Last night he came with the perfect name for the operation to repair his mistakes and hopefully win her trust and care back. He will fight for her and for what he had and that fight will begin now. Perhaps not now, no one functions without food and he is really hungry and also because he had agreed to hang out with Nicholas after breakfast. But right after it he will focus all his energy into Operation Boomerang. He named it like that because after you send a boomerang away it always returns and he wants his mother back even after telling her to leave.

Henry was headed to his friend's house walking peacefully in Storybrooke when two boys jumped in front of him. The place was near the Charming flat and he only passed through busy streets, which is way Snow was okay with him going alone; needless to say she was wrong.

Henry recognized them as one of the older boys in his school; they were around fifteen or something and were also one of the only kids of that age who did not like Regina at all and were always picking up on him. How awesome is that?

"Well, well, look who is here Luc. Is the freaky little kid whose mother is an evil bitch; The Evil Queen."

The one talking was Mark; he was the tallest and the strongest also the one pushing Henry around by his blouse as spoke. Luc was a jock and pretty much everything else like Mark added dumbness; he was clearly not the brain of the operation, not moving and only laughing.

Why couldn't they stop? Why couldn't they see she was not evil anymore? She had stopped being it for so long; ever since he has been here she had been nothing but good. She was a good mayor, a good mother, a good person. So why couldn't they see it? Why couldn't him?

"The 'Evil Queen' is not my mother and she never was so shut up!"

He needed to make them understand that he never met said queen, that he has ever only met Regina; a sweet and caring mother to him. She was and in his heart will forever be his mother and not the 'Evil Queen'. Never her. He was about to continue with his argument and tell them all he was thinking when a strong voice took over the air.

"He is right."

He didn't need to turn and to look where that voice came from because he knew it too well and the panicked look in the bully's face gave away to much. Mark let go of him in the speed of the light and Luc hid behind his friend's back. Henry was a mix between happy and sad. He finally would see his adoptive mother, too bad it had to be when he was lecturing them about her.

Realization of the situation hit him hard and her words finally sink in. She had only heard him saying he was not her kid and not the rest. Man! And she had said he was right, that the Evil Queen was really not his mother. He wanted to believe she knew what he was about to say next but he knows that is not the case this time.

"I'm really not his mother but that does not mean I will let you two boys take advantage of a smaller one. Was I clear?"

The idiots suddenly lost their tongue? Aren't they going to say all those mean things in her face?

HUFF.

After they got the message they all but ran away leaving a Henry still with his back to the queen. He slowly turns with his apologies ready to come out from his mouth but none seemed to come out.

"You might want to talk about their attitude with you mother. Good bye."

NO, noooooo. He tried to reach for her but it was too late; she was gone by magic. She got it all wrong. This was not how it was supposed to happen. And the way she said 'his mother' destroyed him. He missed his chance at fixing it and he only made it worse; first time they see each other in months and he hurt her even more.

He hated himself so bad right now. He really needed to fix this mess. But how?

Little did he know how much this encounter messed with the queen's head and just how much he may never get a second chance at trying to fix it. Not if Regina is able to do what she wants to after hearing all of this.

She thought she could handle it; handle the pain of his hate but she can't. Right now she wishes she couldn't even breathe and you can bet she will try to achieve that.

* * *

_Please don't kill me? Tell me your thoughts xo_


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we go.
> 
> This was a tough chapter to write and I hope I did not fucked it up.
> 
> Warnings: depression, mention of self harm, marital rape and abuse.
> 
> English is not my language, so there will be mistakes and I'm sorry for them.
> 
> Don't own ouat.

"Isn't she a sweet?"

A long breath to calm her nerves was the only sound that followed by those words. She was on the edge once again and maybe coming back was not one of her greatest ideas and Josh was one the same page as her when it came to that.

"Maybe we should come back to New York or even end our vacation someplace else Regina. These people don't do you well; this stress is not good to you."

"I know Josh, I just… I don't know; I thought I was ready to face them and their cutting words but maybe I wasn't. I think I'm going to go for a walk; I won't be long. Thanks for the food."

She kissed his cheek and he gave her a look like he knew what was on her mind. He probably does she thinks; he always does anyway and she loves him for that. But she needs time to think. Last night's events were too fresh in her memory and Emma's words only brought her more doubt about it all.

Maybe it hurt more because she thought that the girl would be different from her mother but the apple did not fall too far from the tree at all. The savior took her all; they all took everything from her and never got punished for it while everyday in her life she was abused in some form.

She had been pure once but she was corrupted by those who claim to be innocent. It also hurt to see that some one else realized the ugly truth and yet didn't do anything in her behalf; on the contrary she only took advantage of it.

She was sick of this, of this stupid people and she just needed to be alone for a while and think of what her next move should be. She needed freedom from them and the misery they bring in her life. She was done or at least she wanted to be.

She wants to be able to say that she no longer cares about what they have to say about her but she also knows that that is something hard to do. She has always been orphan of love, affection and attention and she needs like she does food or water. She needs to be acknowledged by someone, anyone would do. She plays her cool façade though every hateful word thrown her way hurts more than any physical pain she ever had to endure.

Reaching her bedroom she changed her clothes to some dark jeans and a black leather jacket; looking at herself in the mirror she wonders if there will ever be a day where the reflection in it won't show pain and ghosts of how much she suffers. She wonders if there will ever be a day where she will feel whole; a sentiment she never felt before.

She wants to believe in herself and that she can move on but the memories keep dragging her down. She thinks still looking at the woman in the mirror that maybe forgetting is her problem; she will never forget what she been through. How can someone do it? How can they look at scars and not see the pain of them? How can they live as if the past was nothing but it? How can she put the past aside?

Shaking her head she moves for the door and soon enough she is downstairs and in her porch. She does not know where she is headed to; she is just walking. People stare and some give her a nod of greeting but she does not see them there; is not as if they see her either. What they see is a passionate ruler or heartless monster; they don't see a girl begging for release that only alows for the darkness whishes when she finds herself with no one else to aid her or even hope of it.

She has known all along that it would never really do her any good to give in but she had no choice. Back then it was like being in an open field filled with actual snow; it was freezing there and she was naked, shivering and alone. As she lay there she expected for a hand that never came; days, months, years were spend there until Daniel came and brought her summer.

When he died he took the warm breeze with him and any hopes of being warm ever again. She saw herself in an even more excruciating cold because before she never knew how heat could be and now that she does it hurts more to know she doesn't have. Darkness came in slowly; agonizingly so. Regina sees its silhouette approaching her from her spot on the ground and she knows who it is and that it will not make things better but at least he came with a blanket and she was not alone anymore.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sight of a boy she has not seen for what feels like a life time. He had just turned to the street she was walking and not a minute after came two older boys who started pushing him around. She was far away still so it took her time to reach the boys. She got there just in time to hear Henry's cutting words.

After sending the boys away she gave one last look at the boy who has the biggest chance of hurting her and she disappeared from his eyes with a flick of her hands to somewhere where she could let herself be broken.

The air around her was nonexistent as she got to a safe place. She was deep inside her crypt with no prying eyes to her grief; and what a better place to weep for her loss. Her baby grew so much and so big now even though it has only been seven months and with his height his hate grew along.

She felt like dying, like burying herself in the dirt among those dead copses in the cemetery. Her hands were shaking and the tears in her eyes were coming from deep within her very soul.

Why must his words hurt her to this level?

She decided she hates this day, this life, this everything. She hates how weak she is and how dependent of a boy's love she became; most of all she hates herself.

She sees all the mirrors surrounding her and she goes back to her early questionings; now her picture is nothing but a broken red eyed woman with a past that is too much of a present in her life. Looking at herself now she feels a part of her (that was never really her to begin with) commanding her to get up and break it all; to freed her feelings in the form of hate and destruction like she did so many times before.

She gets up and her fist goes along with her ready to connect with the first soon to be broken glass but so close to it she no longer sees a woman; she now only sees a girl. A girl that is broken just like she is but that is still standing. She remembers those nights in the king's bedchambers and how she thought she would never make it through the other day.

Every time he forced himself inside of her with a look o disgust and more brutality every time he realized that lying underneath him was not his precious Eva but her. All then ways he would humiliate her and hit her until she could barely keep her eyes open; not that she wanted them like that anyway but the bastard demanded that she could never close them and not see him as he 'fixed her' or 'made her pay for not being not being good enough of the whore he expected when he bought her'.

That girl was fighter and that girl was her. Back then she spent many hours whishing on a fallen star for help until she came to believe that help would never come.

" _You are a warrior and you deserve love."_

Josh's penetrating her skin until it was tattooed in her flesh; she was about to give it all up for a lapse of judgment. She vouched for that girl that once she cast the curse that she would win the capacity to have a say in her life and to have it all; and win she will. The kid she raised may not stand on platform with her when she gets there but she won't be alone either; she forever will have a friend in that man and it's his company that makes her take a step back from the mirror and to lower her hand.

Had she not stopped she would have broken it all and used the tiny pieces from it to break her own flesh and draw red thick blood believing it to be the only way to stop or calm the pain she was in.

She is still finding hard to breathe and she is still shaking but her death wish was gone for now and if it's up to her she never wants it come back again. Maybe she wasn't meant to forget the past; maybe she just had to overcome it like everything else in her life. She burned so many things already and perhaps her mistake is that she has been turning into ashes the wrong objects and the wrong persons all along.

She knew now what she had to do. If she wanted the 'Evil Queen' and her demons dead she need to bury them properly. It's after all the only way to move on.

She went to the room where Daniel's body rested because she knew that is where she should begin.

"Daniel, my love I'm sorry. I loved you, I still do but I can no more, I just can't take it anymore. I need to leave this place, to leave you and my pain with it. You would have wanted me to live and I have been doing the opposite of it; I've been holding on revenge thinking if I didn't my love for you and your love for me would vanish.

Trying to make it through I became my mother and all I despised in my youth. It was the only way to survive; it was the only way I knew how to but not anymore. You showed me love, love like I never thought possible. You were for so long everything I had but if I want to move on I must leave you too.

My obsession with you and your love kept me alive but I was never really living; was I? I will forever hold you dear in my ruined heart but of your body I must let go. I can't live holding onto you and the memory of a touch I will never have again.

Thank you for showing me that love was possible, that I could be loved. Thank you for giving me your heart and I sorry that because of it you lost your life. A huge piece of me will forever be yours but the rest must go on. I must go on."

Tears were running down her face and her legs could barely carry her out but did. Her heart was bleeding but it must be done. As she got outside she put a spell around the place so no one would see anything happening, kind of like a bubble only she could see inside.

She opened her palm and formed ball of fire in her right hand; one blow was enough to start the fire that was soon to encircle the whole place.

She guided the fire to go through all the hidden rooms in the mausoleum but she made sure to save all the nature surrounding the place. The flames were as beautiful as they ever were in Regina's liking and she sat there on the ground watching her darkest memories became dust.

She was there for hours until the entire building disappeared from sight leaving only black ashes in its place. She felt lighter somehow; as if those old clothes or potions from a land she only suffered were in a way keeping most of that past alive. She cleaned the place, filled the hole where the tunnels were with soil and made grow beautiful grass and flowers only leaving on the ground an acronym made from small rocks.

" _DM"_

"I will always love you Daniel Manfred"

* * *

That white mansion didn't felt like home anymore. Walking thought it she reminisces a time where a boy and his love filled this house until it died like everything else in her. This is not where she belongs; this is not her house or her life and not another day will be spent in here.

She will be back eventually or if Ruby ever needs her to, but until then she will build herself another life; the one she believes she deserves.

"Josh? Are you in?"

The house is really quite and she makes to the second floor she sees the man she was looking for just coming out from her bedroom and placing two bags on his feet and giving her that look that says it all and shows just how much he knows her and what she needs.

"It's all packed up, even the food so were good to go. You just got to say the word."

She seeks refugee into his waiting arms then. The road will be long but she doesn't care, she will get there.

* * *

_Well that was it._

_Daniel's last name was never said (at least I don't remember. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong) so I chose Manfred because it means hero's peace in english and that is what I think he was to Regina._

_Please tell me what you thought about it._


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next one. It is short I know it but life and the end of my college's semester left me with no time at all :C
> 
> As always sorry for my english mistakes.
> 
> Enjoy

Josh dropped Regina off at her home in New York and left for his. As soon as the queen was alone she set out to look for a good psychologist knowing that she would only get where she wanted with help from a professional. She found one and took note of his phone to call the office first thing Monday morning. It was pretty late after it so she only fixed herself something to eat and went to bed.

Sleep didn't come easy; her mind was filled with thoughts and plans. She had sent both Ruby and Maleficent a message warning them of her departure. Ruby called her back and was sad on the phone but she understood the queen and her reasons; Maleficent thought only texted her back with hopes of a next meeting.

She needed to set a goal for her life and that much she knew, she just didn't know what. She has enough money to live a more than comfortable life workless but she had felt so good when teaching those kids and she couldn't shake off the nice feeling they left in her after each class. Maybe the ranch would take as a permanent teacher or she could look someplace else for something like it.

She spent the whole Sunday alone at home and only got out to buy groceries. Josh called to check in and see if she was fine and if she wanted to do something but she declined the offer; she need a day for herself and to have some peace.

Monday morning she woke up early and ready to fix her life. She had something light for breakfast and called the doctor's number and set an appointment for her in the same day at five. Now she needed to get herself a job.

She drove to the ranch and once there asked the manager if he was looking for something more permanent but unfortunately he gave her a no.

"I'm sorry Regina, you are a great teacher and a great rider but there is no hole in our staff now that Monica is back. But if ever comes an opening we'll call you."

Driving back to town Regina didn't know where to start looking for another place to work but she was a bit hungry so she went in into this small cozy restaurant. She just hoped the food tastes good.

The building looked like the front of a house with two big wooden doors and light blue walls. Inside the walls were white and blue; starting with blue from the ground until about three feet high and the rest was all white. The room's lighting was really good and gave a calm and light kind of feel to the place.

Most of the tables were small, something to fit only two people giving it a romantic vibe. The queen counted about eight tables for two and two tables for four on each corner. There were a decent amount of customers, so the place couldn't be considered full but also not empty either.

She was about to chose a table to sit when someone touched her shoulder blade.

"Miss, may I take you to a seat?"

Turning around Regina was shocked to see a beautiful woman looking back at her. The girl had a light makeup covering her face and a strawberry color painting her small lips. She had a dirty blonde hair that came below the shoulders with bangs that reached a full eyebrow, fair skin that looked deliciously creamy, soft hazel eyes, and a big white smile that took her breath away. The waitress was taller than her with a rather big boobs, slim waist and perfect legs. The killer body with a face that could be of a little girl who just did something wrong was doing things the queen. Good but very inappropriate things. Realizing she was still staring at the waitress without saying a word she nodded her head yes for she didn't trust her voice to come out in a good enough shape to not embarrass her.

"Will you be eating alone or are you expecting someone?"

The girl was in front of her now, looking right at the queen's chocolate orbs and once again they lost their self on each other.

"No, it will be just me today."

With a nod the girl then pointed a chair to Regina. "Do you want the menu?"

She could have said yes and let the beauty do her job but Regina wanted more time with her.

"What do you suggest?"

The girl did not see that one coming it would appear but the smile she grace the ex mayor with was mind blowing.

"Well, we have burgers, sandwiches and all types of salads but my favorite is our Kale Caesar Salad."

"In that case I'll have one with some orange juice, please."

"Coming right up."

One final smile and she was gone. 'Put it together woman, you're a queen not a school girl with a crush.' The queen covered her eyes with her fingers and rested her face in her hands. Huge mistake because as soon as blackens came from the lack of view the girl's smile came to haunt her. Shit. What was wrong with her? How can she be so affected by someone she just met? She doesn't even know her name.

Taking her phone from her purse she went to Google others equestrian centers on town and she found one only 35 minutes drive from where she was, definitely worth passing by on her way out of here. She needed to cut time so she would not think about the lovely waitress serving her. Fuck now she is going to imagine the girl on her knees serving her with her tongue. Fuck! Okay Regina, think of something to do; talk to Josh? Yeah, maybe that would help.

"Hey are you busy?"

"No R. What is up?"

"I just got out of the ranch. They don't have an opening there."

"Really? :C You'll find somewhere else. Have you looked for another one?"

"Yep, just going to eat and check it up. It is not far from where I am. What are you doing?"

"The club finances. Boring!"

So caught up texting her friend she didn't see the girl coming with her food and the little jump she did in her chair when the plate was put in front of her was just ridiculous.

The waitress chuckled at it and the sound gave the queen butterflies. 'Butterflies really, Regina? Definitely the face of an Evil Queen who is a fucking sociopath; you are pathetic.' She thought to herself while internally rolling her eyes.

"Sorry if I scared you."

"What, you are sorry for that and not because you laughed about it too?"

Sarcasm and manipulation, yeah stick to that and you may make it through this talk without making a fool of yourself. To add the queen also raised a perfectly sculptured eyebrow and gave the blonde woman in front of her the sexiest face the girl has ever seen. She saw the girl's eyes widen and her face became flushed.

"You heard that? Sorry"

It was time for the queen to chuckle and she decided to keep playing with the girl. The game of lust she knew all too well.

"Perhaps you should to make it up to me."

Shit, she was full on hitting on the girl. Is that really it? But this time the waitress did not back down. On the contrary, did she just flirt back?

"I just might if you are lucky enough. Have a good meal."

She then winked, turned around and got back into the kitchen. "Have a good meal." As if she could even focus on the food she was supposed to eat after an angel look alike delivered it with the hands the queen would dream about at night.

The food was actually really good and as she asked for her bill the unexpected happened. There was a note with it writing 'Call me. Rebecca" followed by a phone number. No, the queen looked up and the girl was looking back at her with shy eyes. Beautiful.

"Have a good day, Rebecca."

She paid, got up, gave the waitress a wink and left.

The ride was fast and she blamed Rebecca for it. The girl would just not get out from her system; that smile and those eyes so captivating that got her hooked. She was debating with herself how long to wait and call her. Or should she just text her? For fucks sakes what the hell is wrong with her. Oh, if her mother could see her now; drooling over some girl. Surely Cora would beat the skin out of her for her stupidity.

The GPS's voice was letting her know that she had reached her destiny. A deep and she was ready to face her potential employer. The place was beautiful and they had so many horses but most importantly she felt at home over there.

She was led to speak with the owner; a tall man around fifty years old that treated her with so much kindness since the beginning.

"Hi, I'm Kevin Taylor."

He extended his hands to the queen; strong and calloused hands from hard work no doubt.

"Hi, I'm Regina Mills. I'm looking for work and they told me I should talk to you about it."

* * *

_New job, new romance and a new life. What do you think Rebecca will represent in this new chapter of our queen's life? Can she be Regina's other half?_

_Next chapter will be Henry's pov and his plans to get his mother back._

_Tell me your thoughts :D_


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt really guilty so I sat my ass in a chair and I worked my ass off to get something done for you guys. Hope you like it.
> 
> English is not my language so forgive me for my mistakes.
> 
> Don't own OUAT

Henry ran. After he saw his mother disappear into thin air he ran like his life depended on it; perhaps it did. He went as fast as his little legs could carry him to his friend's house. He didn't know what he was going to do but he knew he could not let her leave after hearing him say those things. He saw in her eyes that hurt that shone so bright he needed to look away so they would not burn his eyes. He has seen it before, many times before whenever he would call her a monster and say she was not his real mother, but all those time she still loved him more than anything and still stay by his side.

How stupid he is he doesn't have words to describe, he just knows that his stupidity can probably mach his grandmother's one. But he was not that dumb to not know that she wouldn't stay one more minute in this unforgiving and also pretty stupid town, so he ran.

He rang the door bell at Nicholas's house and thanks the heavens that his friend answers it fast. As soon as the door was open Henry was pushing the other boy inside and dragging him to his room.

"What is wrong?"

"I love my mom."

"Okay, Henry that is like normal you know and the savior is pretty cool."

Huff, his friend was stupid too, why was he surrounded by them? Worse part was the fact that the boy was looking at him s if he had finally gone mad.

"Not Emma. I mean Emma too but I was talking about Regina."

He half expected the boy to jump from his bed because of the revelation but no, Nick stood there as if the words coming from his mouth were nothing big. Sensing his friend was not going to make a comment about he continued.

"I was wrong; she has and will always be my mom. I really am the reason she left, I had an argument with her and told her to and she did it. But then she came back and I was coming over so we could come up with something so that she would forgive me but I screwed up again."

Nick could see how this was affecting his friend, matter in fact he saw it ever since the queen left the city by the way Henry reacted. He played cool to everyone in school making fun of him but he knew that his friend was anything but fine with how things ended up. Yes, he as a kid too and maybe he does not know what depression is and how it works but clearly Henry was not in his normal state and that made him sad for the boy, but it's not like this topic ever came in their conversations and Nick feared that if he mentioned his adoptive mother he would lose his friend.

"What happened?"

Henry took a deep breath and looked away from his friend so the boy sitting in front of him wouldn't see the tears that were about to fall from his eyes.

"I was walking here and Luc and Mark showed up out of nowhere trying tomes with me and then Marc said that my mother is the "Evil Queen" and I got angry. I was going to say she was no such a thing, that she was not evil that she was just my mother and that I had never met the evil part of her; but all it came out first was that the "Evil Queen" was not my mother and she never was and when I was about to end what I had in mind Regina showed up and thought I was once again dying her."

"No way!"

"Then she used her magic and just left me there and she is going to leave again if we don't do something and I don't want to lose her again Nick, not again. I miss her too much."

"Where do you think she went?"

Henry though about it for a while and well his mom always went to her office at town hall whenever she was upset about something but she was no longer mayor so maybe she is at the mansion.

"I think she went home but she will never answer the door to me Nick."

He said with his head down accepting his fate but one look up into his scheming friend face made him rethink the possibilities.

"Maybe she will open if I'm the one behind it"

* * *

They had to walk all the way to Mifflin Street and that took time they did not have to waist but it was the only way to get there. Henry listened to his friend's plan and it was actually pretty cool. He would stay hidden while Nick would knock on the door and wait for his mom to open it. Once she did the boy would say how sorry he was and that she had misunderstood the whole thing earlier this morning and beg her to speak with him so he could sort everything out.

It was decent but he feared two things; that she may have already left or if he didn't by the end of Nick speech she would just close the door in their faces and tell them to leave. Okay, it would be done in a more formal and educated way in the end he would still not get a chance to apologize to her.

Nick was not at the door while he was behind a tree not so far from the door so he could listen to their conversation. His friend knocked and here it goes nothing. His palms were sweaty and he was so nervous he may just pee himself.

One minute and nothing, is she not here? Nick threw him a look and knocked again. They were about to give up when a man opened the door. Wait, what? Yes, he was not blind or with his vision really screwed up; there was a man dressed in a freaking towel opening the door to his home.

His mind was all over the place with questions like; who was that guy, what is he to his mother, does he have a family, has she really replaced him that fast, how could she, how could she not.

"Is Miss Regina home?" He heard his friend say, what was he doing?

"I'm afraid not, she let a while ago and has not returned yet. What is your name boy?"

Shit! Shit! Shit! ABORT MISSION NICK!

"My mom was of one her handmaids and I just wanted to say hello and welcome her back and say she was missed but I'll talk to her another time. Thank you."

Henry searched the man's face for something like doubt but found none and breathes in relief as he moves to close the door.

Josh thought nothing of it because when there were at the market some people came to say hi to Regina as well so to him that kid was just another one and paid him and his visit to the queen no mind and deemed of no importance little did he know how wrong he was.

"Sorry Henry, don't you know somewhere else she may be?"

"No."

It was lie, he knew where else she could be but he chose not to let his friend know about it. They came back to Nick's house had lunch and Henry said his goodbyes saying he was not well and wanted to go home, the boy's father offered to drive him to his grandparents house and he refused; it was not like he was going there anyway.

The walk to the cemetery was long and trying but he had to go there and see her He got there and the place was quiet and his family mausoleum was just like it was supposed to be; like nobody was even there but as he made to walk inside it a force stopped him and he knew she was there and he would wait until she stepped foot out of that place or at least until the shield was lowered and he could go inside and make sure she was not there anymore.

The clock ticked and about one hour after he was sitting in the hard ground behind once again behind a tree to not spook her he saw the place change. The scenery no longer held the structure it should now the area was open with flowers and grass just like the rest of the cemetery. He could not believe his eyes, it was all gone and so was she; he lost her once again. No point running back to his old home because he knew that b the time he made it there she would no longer be in this town.

* * *

**Ney York**

The talk when long but easy, she was asked questions about how she learned to ride and the usual stuff you get asked in a job interview. They were looking for a rider who could do well with kids and was one hundred percent comfortable around horses. The man then asked if Regina was up to riding one at the time so he could see how she handled them; needless to say the queen accepted it.

She rode with majesty worthy of a queen and left all the ones watching amazed by her performance and dominance of the animal. She got the job and would start at it tomorrow morning but that was the last thing in her mind on her ride back to her home.

Rebecca. The girl captivated her deeply; yes, her body was beautiful but what really caught her eye was her smile so full of life and sincere unlike any other one she has ever seen in her fifty nine years of life but if you asks her she says she only has thirty; she was after all twenty nine when she cast the curse. She wonders if the girl got out o the encounter as affected as she and she only hopes for the answerer to be positive.

Is it too soon to send a text or she should call? Yeah call, she was going to call her, which would be better, right? But when she wanted to do it now but wouldn't that make her look desperate? Wasn't she? Oh man, she sucks at this really bad but you want to know what? She is a grown ass woman who knows what she wants and it's not about to be shy about it now. She wants to get to know this girl that got her in some kind of a spell and fuck what society says about waiting to make the first call and play like the other one does no really matter at all.

It rings three times before a sweet voice fills her ear.

"Hello, who is this?"

"Hi Rebecca, I'm Regina and we met at the restaurant a few hours ago."

"Holy shit! I can't believe you are calling."

What the hell was that supposed to mean? The girl only passed her phone to play a trick?

"What? Are you playing with me?"

"No! God no, I'm sorry is that I'm shocked that is all. I mean I didn't give you my phone, my friend did; I told her that I found you beautiful and then she said you were looking at me too but that was impossible, is not someone like you would even spare a glance at someone like me. But she put my number with your tab and I only saw it when you did I totally thought you were going to get me fired but didn't and you kind of laughed and I thought 'great', you know. Wait, is that what this is? Are just going to let me talk about it and then tell I'm not worthy of you? Because that is just bullshit."

Regina was stunned and with no words, she had thought the girl was playing with her when in fact Rebecca only thought that she was not good enough for her. Oh, and the girl's rambling? So cute.

"I can assure Rebecca I would do no such a thing to you. Your friend was right and I'm happy she gave me your phone number otherwise I would just have to go to your work every day until you did it."

There was a pause on the other end of the line and for a moment Regina thought the girl had disconnected the call but the sound of deep breathing let her know that it had not happened.

"So you actually liked me?"

WOW she sounded so small and shy that it made the butterflies in Regina's stomach go wild like a war zone once more.

"You are beautiful Rebecca and I would love to go on a date with you, if you liked."

"Really? You are not joking right?"

"No, I'm not. When are you free?"

"Tonight or any other day you want to actually, just name it."

Regina chuckled at the girl ways, this morning she seemed like someone so sure of herself but it was clear that all of that was just a little act and in fact she was the complete opposite of it; maybe they weren't so different from one another like she had previously believed.

"Today? I like the sound of that. What time do you get off?"

"At six, but can I like drop by at home first to take a shower and look presentable? Would eight o'clock be too late?"

"That would be perfect."

Rebecca gave her address to Regina and they talked for a little while longer until the girl had to get back to work. The queen had a smile in her face that didn't want to leave and honestly she didn't really care about that. She couldn't wait for tonight and to meeting this girl properly.

* * *

_So what you guys thought about it?_

_Next one we will have the date and more about Rebecca and who she is a person._


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Off we go to the ladies date. Hope you enjoy it.
> 
> English is not my language so there will be mistakes.
> 
> Don't own OUAT.
> 
> But before I just wanted to say one thing. I got reviews saying that Rebecca was not worthy of Regina for the solo fact that she was an waitress and that made me really sad. We are not defined by our work and in ANY way it's NOT okay to say that someone is less deserving of anything because of their financial status, their color or for who they love. The only reason that Rebecca could have been unworthy is if she was incapable of giving the love and care that EVERYone deserves. It's is not okay to judge somebody by their appearances and ridicule them for it and it's also not okay to judge someone without even knowing them. In fact it's not okay to judge anyone at all.
> 
> This is what I had in mind since the beginning but it is good so it shows how people are much more than it meets the eyes and I hope that this gives you guys something to think about.

"Hello dear, I'm at your door."

"Okay, I'm coming down."

Two minutes after the call Rebecca shows up at the door dressed in the most lovely baby blue summer dress she had ever seen. Regina had parked her car in front of the building and was waiting for her date outside the vehicle and the radiant smile that the waitress threw her way when she opened the door was too much for the queen to handle but as she walked front the porch to where she was standing Regina could see just how nervous the blonde really was.

"You look lovely, Rebecca."

If her smile could have gotten any bigger it probably would but then again so would the red of those cheeks, this girl was the cutest one alive and now the brunette could definitely say that it had really been the waitress friend to write that number down.

"Thank you, you do too."

"Ready to go?"

After a nod of response the queen opened the door for the girl to get inside of the car and went to the driver's sit. She was putting her sit belt on when Rebecca's voice filled the air.

"So, where are we going?"

"Have you eaten?"

"No, not really."

"Good because I was thinking that maybe we could go to a restaurant, have dinner and try to get to know each other? Does that sound good?"

"Sounds great."

"Italian is good for you?"

"Oh yeah!"

She was driving to a restaurant downtown that she went with Josh many times before because they both love it. Shit she forgot Josh. He is going to freak the fuck out when she tells him that she went on a date and didn't tell him. The way he is, he probably is going to embarrass her once he sees that she really was interested on this girl and in fact the 'date' was not a fuck in her home like all the ones she had gone on ever since she moved here but in fact a full on real date with dinner and hopefully a goodnight kiss. But either way she would not trade her friend for any reason at all, he became irreplaceable in her life and she was glad for it.

They have been driving for almost fifteen minutes in a comfortable silence; no sound was heard besides the soft music coming from the radio and for some reason that felt normal to the queen.

"I'm sorry."

"What was that dear?

Lost in her daydream she missed what Rebecca had said, but it sounded a lot like a sorry. Why would she be sorry for? She must have heard it wrong.

"I'm sorry for the way I acted when you called me. It's just that I really was not expecting it, at all. My friend said that you were flirting with me with the whole 'making it up for me' but I doubted really hard. I honestly thought you tossed the note away once you left, so when I heard your voice I had panic attack because I just couldn't believe it. Anyway, just sorry."

She was talking fast and so low as if she was ashamed of her actions that most of it Regina didn't get it but it was not like she would get the girl to say it again so she decided to drop the subject.

"It's fine Rebecca, no need to worry about it. We're here."

* * *

 

"Tell me about yourself."

They were sitting in a far away table their order had just arrived but Regina wasn't that hungry, not for food. She was hungry but for information about who Rebecca was.

"Well, I'm the youngest of four and also the only woman of the gang, trust me a life with three older brothers is hell. I'm twenty five and was born and raised here in New York. I love books and what they can bring to someone who is reading them. To me they were always an escape route, you know. When I was there reading about someone's fictional life I could forget about mine and just let go of my worries and be a whole other person for a while."

The girl was talking and the queen was getting lost on those lips moving and the clear enthusiasm Rebecca had while talking about her love towards books, it was inspiring really.

"That leads us to my real work, because since I read a lot my imagination was wild; It started when I was twelve, I would be sitting in my chair supposedly doing school work but instead of doing it I would get like a bunch of phases rolling in my head or little stories about things I wanted to have, to feel or what not to feel, things I wanted to find out how it worked and stuff like that. So one day I had this idea in my brain that kept me awake at night for months and that would reformulate itself forever but that I had never put it down in paper, until the day I did.

That was the beginning of my first book, once I started typing it in my computer I could never stop. By then I was finishing high school and I just knew that English should be my major. I graduated from NYU three years ago and ever since I wrote two more books and I'm at the end of my fourth."

This girl in front of her was not a girl at all, she was a full woman who followed her dreams and made them came truth. She was so sure of herself and she talked about it, nothing like the shy girl attitude she was waving off when Regina picked her up in her house.

The queen was never one to really listen about other people's life but Rebecca got her glued to every word coming from her mouth and Regina found that she really had nowhere else she rather be than here tonight.

"Can I just ask one thing? If you have a writhing career, why are you a waitress then?"

"It came from something one of my teachers said, it was something like 'to fully incorporate a character and his life you need to know about it, to have seen it, to have lived it even if just by your ears or by your eyes'.

"So if you want to have new versions about life, you can't do that while locked into your house."

"Exactly, I need to go out, to meet different people, to have in store different kind of views about the world, it keeps me going. So I wanted to find something to do that would get me really close to a big amount of people, one day I was grabbing a coffee from a starbucks; the place was crowed and the noise was driving me mad and suddenly I looked around and realized it wasn't noise, it was many people sharing their life with their friends without a care who was there to listen and to make that fact a story.

The next day I talked it out with Maddie – the one who wrote my number to you – and she told me that the restaurant she worked for was looking for a waitress and that was it."

She was amazing in her own way. She really was filled with life and joy like she believed but there was so much more to her. Apparently she had suffered in her youth as well but unlike Regina she had found a way to heal herself truly and possibly even others in the meantime, she was definitely stronger them the queen wanted to be. Maybe the girl wasn't abused or raped but pain is pain no matter to which degree, and she coped with it better then she could ever hoped to do it.

"What was your first book about?"

The pink in her cheeks and the glint that shined in those orbs made Regina's insides melt.

"Well, I started to write it when I was sixteen and back then I wasn't the popular type in school, I guess that the fact that I loved books, English class and was a bit over weight didn't exactly made me friend material. I dreamed of a life filled with a lot of things and if I couldn't do them because I was afraid of what the others may said or do then I would make a person do it. It tells the story of Sarah, a girl who wanted to be inside that circle of 'perfection' so she faked her way in. She tried too hard and after a while she realized that she had became those girls, that she was no longer faking stories and feelings, she was making them and she was having a blast.

The story develops into years of her life and in the end she grows up and she sees that part of that character that she has been playing for others was in fact a part of her, a huge part of her buried underneath her fears. She finally understands that she hadn't faked all along, that in fact she only embraced who she wanted to be since the beginning but wasn't able to because no one gave her a chance to express herself and now she found her voice.

Basically we start with a lost girl, who lost her faith in love and on people because of the things she had been thought in her family and we finish with a woman; a woman who fought for herself, who became stronger for it and is now unashamed of her thoughts and actions. A woman who while pretending to be someone who could fit into society's standards found her true self."

She had no words, the book sounded like her whole life. It's crazy just how much she could identify with Sarah. Her family broke her and until she decided to take reins of her life even if or other people's idea of who she was, she was never free. Regina had to play her own character and she was "The Evil Queen", a strong woman who had it all and only in the middle of that play that she realized she could be it. Yes, it took her time, and a curse, and a boy who she no longer calls her son but now she is able to say that she knows who Regina Mills really is and she is kind of proud of her.

"It seems like a really good book. I would read it for sure."

"It helped me a lot, it took me two years to finish it and in a way Sarah helped me grow up too and to realize that we are all perfect in our own way and once we admit it to ourselves then soon will others. Acceptance of who you are needs to come from within first so it can shine. But enough about me, let's talk about you. Who is Regina?"

Who is Regina in deed? What should I go with?

Option one - "Well I'm a witch, a queen, a murder and an ex mother."

Option two - "A woman whose been raped of love, care, decisions and her life."

Option three - "I'm Snow White's evil stepmother."

The blonde's response to the first and the last options will most likely be throw her drink at Regina or lock her up at an insane asylum, to the middle one probably a look of pity and she doesn't want or need that so she thought it would be better for her to keep her sociopath tendencies and crappy past hidden for a while, a least until she knows she can trust the woman in front of her.

"Regina Mills is a thirty year old woman, an only child who no longer has her parents, an ex mayor who decided she wanted to live her life for herself, who gave up on her comfortable zone and packed her things up to move to New York, someone who has finally found something that makes her happy and that is currently working as a horse rider."

Good, true, informative and vague. That is the way a queen does it.

"Afraid to spend a little saliva, aren't we?"

With her best poker face came her response even though she wanted to laugh about herself right now.

"No, I just don't have an inspiring tale to tell like, not like you did."

"I'll let this one slide, but only because you are insanely hot and are totally paying me dinner tonight."

This time she could not help herself and not fall for the grin the girl had in her face and the queen found herself shaking with the sweetest of laughers.

"That I am, dear."

The talk rolled off easily and the food… What food? She didn't even tasted it, Rebecca's company made the hour fly and soon enough their plates were clean and they were a bit drunk from each other's presence.

"We should head out before they throw us out you know, we have finished for a while."

It appear they were thinking the same thing, but Regina really didn't want this night to end which is why she had been dragging this around.

"They would not dare to do such a thing."

Her scary queen voice was on and so was the eyebrow lifting but the way her date reacted to it she was not expecting it and was not prepared to it in the slightest. The biting of the bottom of a pink painted lip and the darkening of those big pupils that turned green-bluish eyes almost fully black was a sight to behold and her core came to flames over it. She needed to leave and cool herself off and she needed to do it now. So she signalized for the waitress attending them and paid their bills.

The way to the car she saw Rebecca yawning but trying to hide it so she decided to call it a night, it was Monday after all.

"So where are going now?"

"You must be tired, let me drive you home and we can end our date some other day."

She saw that the beauty wanted to argue about it and it trilled to know how the girl liked her and also didn't want the night to be over but after giving her a stern look and once again seeing lust crossing the eyes looking back at her Rebecca cave in.

"You owe me the end of the date."

A smirk was all the queen said back to test her theory and damn she right about it. Her date loved every time she got sassy and a bit mean and for now on Regina swore to herself to do it as many times as she could only to drive Rebecca insane and right into her waiting arms.

Driving back the queens wonders why the way back home always seems to go faster and to be shorter because one moment she was pulling off of the parking lot and now she is already at the writer's house.

"We are here. Thank you or the lovely night and I'll be waiting for your call so we can set our next date."

Regina reached for that lovely face she have been dying to touch the whole night and the skin felt as good as she believed it to be.

"I had a perfect night tonight and I will definitely be calling you."

With her every word and stroke of the hand she watched as the blonde's eyes closed and she leaned into her touches and that was all the motivation she need to reach for those inviting lips.

The kiss started slowly, the taste sweet like she had never tasted before and the things she was felling were maddening and making the want grow bigger and bigger inside of her. Yes, she will definitely be calling back.

"Good night, Becca."

* * *

_Tell me your thoughts :D_


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this one we will make another turn into a cannon event, you will see during it. I just think it fits better into my story like this. It will be very brief but we will get more details about it later.
> 
> English is not my language so forgive me for any mistakes.
> 
> Warnings: mention of marital rape
> 
> Don't own OUAT.
> 
> Enjoy :D

She got home that night and decided to call Josh and let him in into her day's details before she lost her courage. First they talked about her new job, where it was and all of that. She told her friend that she was not sure whether the guy had really liked her or not at first and that she believes the only reason she got hired was her easiness around a horse. The response she got from him was hilarious though.

" _Regina babe, I knew you were must have been a rider the first night we met and you rode me to one of the best orgasms of my life! Don't even know why you had second guesses about your abilities, the way you move your body and the strength you have on your thigh is amazing, really."_

Men, here she is telling him her doubts and he goes off about how she got him off. On a second note it's not like she can say a lot about it either really because half of her night with Rebecca was spent thinking about how she might taste, feel and fuck!, even how she must sound like in the heated moments of passion.

That reminds her of the real reason of her call; puffing her chest out and chin high regaining her composure (as if there was somebody in the room to see her) she told Josh about her date. She was really preparing herself for silly jokes, never ending teasing and even some manly giggling but none of it came from the other side of the line to her surprise and pure delight.

In fact all she heard was a soft calming but strong voice telling how happy he was for her, that she really needed to move on and get what she always wanted in her life, love. That she deserved it and even if this girl turns out not to be it for her that she should never give up and always keep trying. He may also have said something like:

" _If this chick hurts you on the other hand I may not hit her because she is a girl and I don't do violence against women, but I'll scare the shit out of her with my magic. Her life will be a living scary movie with objects flying and coming to life like a fucking ghost was there and that is a final."_

This man was too much actually, he gave her all she needed ever since they met and he kept being there for her and that feeling of having someone on your corner was so damned good. Come to think of it, if she had remained in that town filled with fools she would never have something like it. No matter if Ruby was now here for her she is not silly enough to think that if something were to happen over there with the so called heroes and evidences pointed to her that the wolf would have the unconditional trust Josh has in her. It makes her a tad bit happy for Henry's hate towards her and the fact that he practically drove her out of there, but just a bit, something of the size ant compared to an angry Maleficent in her dragon form. That is a fucking lot. Trust the ex lover, they always knows better.

But that was days ago, twelve of them if we are talking numbers. But who is counting anyway, definitely not Regina and that is for sure. You could believe it if not for the fact that she indeed have been counting them anxiously waiting for their next encounter and even put a freaking note on her phone to remember her the exact day that would happen the 'meeting', which was today, at her house, a casual get together to talk and eat and just fuck!

No, not like one of the thing they are going to do was fuck, it was more as an "Oh fuck, it's today" but whatever, it's not like she would turn down the fuck either. She may not be a man but she is made of flesh and bones as well and if Rebecca was willing to give herself to her she would not be able to say no. Pathetic, she knows it, but still true in every form.

Plus, it was their second date and they have been talking almost daily ever since the first one so it's not as if they would grow out of things to talk and be shy around one another. See? No need to be restless about it, right?

So why was she?

* * *

Rebecca arrived around nine and dinner was already set. Regina cooked them her famous and favorite dish, lasagna. The talk was never ending and all of her worries went away as soon as she opened the door to her guest. The food was over but none of them wanted to end the night so the queen took matters into her own hands.

"Do you want to watch a movie? I don't have any DVDs, but maybe there's something watchable on TV?"

They were now sitting one beside the other on the huge couch watching the movie picked by the younger one, the movie on was called Changeling and all that the queen got about it so far was that Angelina Jolie was in and had a son. That is all she got before the one next to her moved and brought her attention to her. So to be honest, Becca was watching it while Regina was watching her. It amazed her how she felt this pull towards this woman ever since she first saw her in that restaurant. She had felt this before, once, in a time far away from her reach, unfortunately.

Thoughts of a young pure love filled her mind. The way Daniel's eyes carried her throughout the green field making her feel safe like never before, the warmth of his smile bringing light to her blackened life and the guarantee of strong arms to catch her and get her up if she ever falls. But he is long gone and from that moment on the queen thought she would never have that feeling again, until this woman resting in her embrace appeared. It is not love, too soon to be that but she is no fool and knows that with proper time it may grow into it. Here with her alone in her house she is safe, the head resting peacefully on her shoulder makes her feel cherished and the unique smell that is surrounding her makes her feel just that, surrounded. Surrounded by her presence, enveloped in a cloud of bliss, something like what home should feel like.

"It must be horrible to lose your child like that. I would go crazy."

So engrossed in her own thinking she missed almost everything the blonde had said.

"I'm sorry, what?"

She looked down to those eyes that captivated her so much and were looking at her in a sweet way that made her insides melt.

"I said that I would go insane if I lost my kid."

She froze, did she know about Henry? But how was that possible? She hadn't said anything at all about him and what had happened. A voice deep inside her head told her to calm down and to breathe in and out, she did so. Practice makes perfection and she was getting quite good at it. As she got the reins of her mind she briefly remembered having read the movies review somewhere a long time ago and that it's about a mother whose child was kidnapped and replaced by another one, so the comment must have come from it.

She should tell the truth, rip that band aid from the start and after it she could come clean about magic and everything else. This was the perfect moment for her to do so. With a deep breath she turned off the television.

"What is wrong?"

"I feel like I should tell you something and I guess you picked the right movie for me to have the chance to do."

"Okay..."

Rebecca mirrored her and was now facing Regina Indian style, close enough for their legs to touch.

"I have a son. Had, would be the right way to put it in fact."

The blonde almost jumped out of the couch by the revelation and the act left the queen on her defense mode.

"Oh my God, Regina! You should have told me that. I would never make you watch this movie had I known you lost him, this must be painful to you."

What? She was not expecting that after the almost heart attack her date clearly had, she figured mean words were about to pour from that lovely mouth, but no.

"It's alright dear, especially because my case was different. Henry, he's not lost to word of dead. He's just lost to me."

"I don't get it."

"When I was younger I dreamed of a house filled with love and many kids, but life (Leopold in fact but better leave that for latter) got in the way and I found out I'm barren. I was living an empty life so I decided to adopt and fulfill this need and wish I've always had. He came to live with me as a baby and I raised him with no problems until he pushed away and found his birthmother."

"Oh!"

Becca was speechless, but who could even blame her for it?

"Yes, oh! So things got worse from there on. He was ten and suddenly I wasn't his 'real mom' and was also evil, even though all I gave him was love and care. I made mistakes, everybody does and I own every single one of them, but I only did what I did because I loved him too much and was afraid of losing him. I thought I couldn't make without him in my life anymore and to be honest I almost didn't. After a lot of fight and yelling I let him go to be with who he wanted to be with that was Emma, his birthmother, to have the life he believed I was depriving him of."

"He is your son Regina, you raised him, and he was supposed to be with you. You shouldn't have let him go"

"I grew up trapped, locked in a house with a mother who hated me and a father who didn't love me enough to stop her and I tried to run many times. As I held him for the first time I promised him that I would never do that to him and if ever came the time where he wanted freedom, I would give it to him. It destroyed me then and it destroys me still, but that was the kind of a promise that I could never break and live with myself after it."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault for you to apologize, dear."

In an unexpected move Rebecca straddled the queen's tights.

"It wasn't my fault, you are right about that. But I like you Regina, this might seem too early, or stupid and juvenile but I really do, and what I just saw in your eyes as you spoke about the bad side of your life broke my heart. They say the eyes are a reflection of someone's soul and that saying could not be more accurate when it comes to you because these brown big orbs of yours, they tell me everything you are feeling and it's not telling me good things right now."

Sincerity and compassion, two words to describe what Rebecca was giving her at this exact moment. Hazel locked into chocolate and she was a goner. Licking her lips she let a whisper come out, weak just like she was right now, it was all she could manage from the weight this conversation was having on her.

"Becca…"

Cold, small fingers gently stroke the right side of her face. The touch started at her eye level and it moved slowly all the way down to her jaw until all that was left was a thumb who made its way to the left with red full lips as its destination. The blonde was talking but her attention was solemnly on the path her thumb was making, giving to her a foreign look.

"I googled your name, I wanted to know if it fit you. Did you know it means 'queen'?"

A nod was Regina's only response, robed of any power to look away from the face so close to hers.

"Perfect match, I'll say. You are beautiful my queen, did you know that too?"

She did, she heard it before from many who only wanted her for it. To some good looks is a good thing, but she never saw it like it, her beauty was her undoing, surely the bastard king would not have forced his old disgusting dick into her had she been ugly and she would have been free. Free from him, at least.

"I see the doubt that should not take you as her home. You are beautiful and not just on the outside and most of all no one should feel pain, including you. So yeah, I'm sorry. You say you barely made it, but I couldn't be happier that you did, because. Regina. I don't think I could live a life without the opportunity of knowing you."

A traitor tear rolled down her face despise her desires but she held onto to the others, forbidding them to do the same. Her walls were so far down it was impossible to see them. Then a finger came to wipe that first tear away only to be quickly followed by two more.

"Becca…"

The woman's eyes closed and a lower lip was caught between white teeth as if her words were enough to drive her right to the edge.

"I'm sorry."

Regina could take it any longer so she pushed Rebecca completely down onto her lap and pushed her forwards and into her waiting mouth.

A kiss that started slow got heated and needy in matter of seconds, hands previously still and shy grow bold and explored any sight of flesh that they could reach. Making the two lovers get lost in a fog of their desires, completely at mercy of their body's and soul's wishes.

* * *

_Tell me your thoughts XX_


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me long but here we go.
> 
> English is not my language so forgive the mistakes.
> 
> Warnings: Abuse, rape, sexual content
> 
> Don't own OUAT.

Skin

White creamy skin beneath her finger tips.

Lips

Pink, sweet, loving and strong lips connecting with her jaw in a way that made her body ache for more.

Hands

Smooth, feminine fingers stroking her flesh in a body shaking pattern.

Rebecca

Hurricane of feelings, breaking her walls with every beet of her heart.

She wanted, no, needed her and she did it with every fiber of her being and that was a freeing sentiment, the reason why she doesn't know. They were now on her bedroom; a quick fuck in the couch is not how she pictured their first time together to be.

Rebecca who started the whole thing is now trapped under her in the middle of the bed with only her underwear moaning and scratching the queen's back forcing her to ground their hips harder creating the friction she despairingly craves but is denied.

"Please Regina."

That voice. That angel like voice calling for her and the evident want in its timber is what makes the ex mayor stop with her ever ending game of teasing and move on the blonde's body. She kissed her way down and unbuttoned the most perfect lace purple bra the queen have ever seen (had purple not been her favorite color, after this it would surely became) and reveling big, heavy breasts that fit her hand as if it was made to. Dark pink areolas stiff in her palm making her mouth water, not containing herself she lowered her face and gave the left bud a long suck while pinching the other one.

The breathy moan she got only served to make her want to hear it again and again, forever. She wanted to stay in that place forever but a hand pushing her down made her move and Regina found that she can love this place as much, if not more than the one she was before. Matching purple thong was darker in its center because of the wetness growing between Becca's legs.

Removing the last piece of fabric and the movements after it became haze in the queen's mind but recorded forever. How the blonde's taste would be forever in her mouth, the way Becca's breathing became more erratic with her every move, how the pleasure sounds that came from that pink mouth was hitting her ears and sending more blood to her clit, the wetness and warmth surrounding her fingers as she curled them inside, how velvet walls would squeeze around her and make her hand's movements harder with the force of the climax Rebecca was experiencing.

Yes, a remarkable moment indeed and the begging of something. Hopefully something magical but she won't be too picky about the magic part, a real thing is good enough.

* * *

Five months, funny how can so little time compared to the amount she has lived can make so much difference into someone's life. Only five months ago she was getting back once again from Storybrooke, meting someone, stating on getting medical help and finding herself a new and serious job.

Now, she won't say she is cured but the voices in her mind are long gone. Many hours, tears and pain shared in a doctor's office helped her exorcise her inner demons and came to terms with her past. No, she has not accepted it or found an excuse for all of the sick things she has gone thought but she learned how to live with those memories and not let them command her every decision or shadow her every move. Another thing she worked hard was into forgiving, herself and others. But she does not know which one was harder.

Forgiving others came from an understanding that she was not the only one helpless, naïve and/or played in the story.

Her father was as much as a prisoner of Cora as she was, talking to Dr. Harris triggered memories long buried in her mind of her mother being harsh, cold and even hurtful of Henry. He was a poppet afraid for his life, bound to a cruel woman who only wanted power. He held no fighting chance to that woman and it was wrong of her to think he just never loved her enough.

Snow was a tricky one. The girl was nothing but a child a self centered and obnoxious one who just like herself had been induced to play along with Cora's sweet, loving words. She told a secret that made the man she loved so fiercely die, but was the girl the real reason or just another weapon? Her mother was smart and had eyes everywhere and knew of her every move, so now looking back it does not make sense. Her mother knew it before Snow said anything at all and only used the girl's innocence as a way to make hate grow inside of her and with it make her achieve power and be the queen she was told she was born to be.

She was a brat that only cared for herself, but you can't blame that on her either. She was raided like it, like she owned the world and everyone should do as she says, it's all she has ever known. It cost her many times, true. Every time the girl would complain something to the king Regina would end up with the blame and bruises over her body. But Snow didn't know it and would never believe that her caring father would ever hurt her, so every time she got punished because of comments made by the child it was not intentional. Buy her at least. She forgave the kid but not the woman she became and not the choices she made along the way, specially now in Storybrooke.

Next in the line was a boy. No, not a boy, the boy. His actions could be defined as evil, to her worse than the sting of a whip landing on her back and tearing her flesh open. He acted upon using a book as reason, but he is still just a boy and she wronged him too. Her love was fierce but smothering as well. She knows that making him believe he was crazy was her down fall, she wonders how he would have reacted if she had told the truth, probably not so much better at first but she could have told him her part and her reasons.

Forgive herself was the part that took the longest and she is not even sure that she accomplished. Daniel's death happened because he loved her, because he cared and for the longest of times she cursed herself for bringing him that fate but that was not her fault. Being born by a sociopath was not her fault and her actions weren't either, but that is easier said than done or felt. His dying vacant torturous eyes will forever haunt her but she has come to the understatement that it was not a burden she had to carry. The only thing she could carry was his love.

Cora, her she won't forgive or forget. It's not healthy her doctor says but he also says it's understandable. He is an old man graduated in his youth and praised for his works and professionalism is something he masters but she saw his mask fall as she told him about what her  _mother_  had done to her. He said it was important to speak up and share, the only problem was that he was not prepared to hear. Every learning session, every act to teach her how to be proper, every single punishment that woman made she told him and he was for two minutes blank. He had never heard of such cruelty to a child of a young woman and in those two minutes he was not a doctor, he was a human being surprised and disgusted by his race capacity of evil.

Rumple, he played her, he could have helped her better and she hates him for it the same amount she loves him for it. He used her for his benefit but she used him too. There were moments where he was the mentor, but there was the ones where he was a friend who got her maddening desires, a ground that kept her walking for his own motives but at least he did, a lover (more like a fucker) who used her body and gave her a different kind of pain that made her feel alive for just a little while. So, her relationship with him she would say is the more complicated one, but isn't that life?

Leopold, the bastard. The symbol of her weakness and the main reason for the birth of The Evil Queen. She regrets his death and will regret to her grave. Not the act of dying but in better words how he died. A snake? One bite and he was out? She was too kind. She should have made him suffer like she did, an eye for an eye. Too bad she didn't, and too bad she did not watch him die, struggle for breath and know that it was her taking back what was rightfully hers. Her life, her dignity, her choices.

In all this time she kept normal contact with Ruby, got herself a female confidant in her work place, and had her fun in month three watching Josh trying to woo a girl, too bad he gave up only after two weeks of it. It was hilarious seeing him struggle, really.

But those are not the reasons she is sitting her in her bed with her hands holding her head thinking about these five past months. No, that would be because of her girlfriend. The sudden light in her life that brought so much joy into it and a new perspective on things as well. She is young, electric, in some ways quite the opposite of her and perfect in every kind of way. She is like the complement she needed in her life and that was scary. She fell like she knew she did and at first she thought about running away afraid of being hurt but the sentiment, good thing she had Josh, Melanie and her doctor to yell ( Dr. Harris actually pointed it to her in a calm and wisdom way how that could be the wrong move, but who cares about details) some truths in her ear and make her get over her it.

So, now four months in a seriously relationship she decided it was more than time to come clean about things will tell her girlfriend tonight after dinner about who she really is, about her magic, and if Rebecca has not fled or fainted till them, she will even say the L word.

She only hopes this goes well.

* * *

So big day for Regina, hun? Tell me your thoughts. :D


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO I'm back hahha Sorry !
> 
> English is not my language so there will be mistakes.
> 
> Warnings: mentions of child abuse and rape.

The sound of the front door opening is what got Regina out of her thoughts. Yes, Rebecca had a key. She has one since a month ago after they were supposed to meet at the queen's apartment and Regina got stuck at work, leaving the blonde locked out for about one hour. She figured it was the obvious next move giving that her girlfriend was sleeping there most nights during the week.

"Babe?"

How she loves when she is called like that. Usually she would hate pet names and find it pathetic but the truth is that she had secretly always wanted to be called like that, to have someone close enough to her to give her a nick name or even say her name in a sweet way. It was clear to Rebecca just how much she loved being called like that ever since the first time when the scary Evil Queen became pudding in the arms of her lover after hearing it and blushing so hard the girl thought her brunette girlfriend was on fire.

"I am in the bedroom, dear."

Regina saw Becca come in view and thought 'It's now or never' to herself. She had made a little speech and went over the best ways to start this but her mind was blank. Just great! She was a ruler of a whole kingdom once and now she can't even share her past without chicken out?

"Regina?"

She was in front of her now, on her knees holding her face and the queen cursed herself once more. How could she not have noticed her girlfriend coming to her or even touching her?

"Did you listen to a word I said?"

Awesome, she didn't even hear her. She must look really stupid right now. She was being foolish because Rebecca loves her, she never said it but actions speak louder than words. Right? She hopes so, because she will need a lot of love and trust coming from her partner to tell her the story of her life and for the woman to believe in it.

"Are you alright?"

"I don't know. We need to talk."

"Oh..."

Regina still had her head down afraid to look into those beautiful eyes that she came love but hearing the doubt in the girl's voice she felt like dying, but there wasn't much she could say or do to make it better for she herself did not know the outcome of this talk. She had been a monster, a wounded monster but one nonetheless. She has killed and tortured people, some innocent, some not so much, but their blood will forever paint her skin and she doesn't know can someone move on from that knowledge. She pets the bed signalizing for Becca to sit beside her.

"Come here."

The girl's movements were slow, afraid even, and that got the ex mayor's heart bleeding more and more.

"What's wrong Regina, you are scaring me."

A deep breath

"You asked me about my past many times and I couldn't be honest with you then, but I believe it's time."

"Fuck Regina, you are doing all this drama only for a chat? Christ, I thought you were going to end this."

"I won't, but you just might."

"What are talking about babe?"

"I'm going to tell you something, everything. But I need you to promise me to listen until I'm done before you do anything... Just let me finish okay."

The blonde was looking at her, with eyes clouded by the beginnings of tears but only nodded, But Regina wanted words, verbal confirmation that she would sit through it all only it would soothe her troubled heart.

"I need you to say it Rebecca."

"I won't leave, I swear."

"So we should star from the begging. I lied to you, I'm not from Maine. In fact I'm not from around here at all. I was born in a place called The Enchanted Forest, a place that not only magic is real but where the fairy tales you grow up listening to are true as well, at least a part of the story is."

"Have you been doing drugs again? I thought you said you quit it. Come on; tell me the truth and stop playing around."

The lightened tone showed just how much her lover was taking it for a joke, like it was a way to delay her real story. She needed to make her believe and there was only one way how. Right hand open she created fire, bad move.

"Rebecca!"

She fainted. Her girlfriend fucking fainted because she made fire. She was so fucked up. Regina put Rebecca back on the bed and went to call Josh; she was absolutely not in a state to deal with this alone.

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six rings and nothing, the line went dead.

One

Two

Tree

Four

"Hi."

"Fuck, is it too much to ask for you to answer you damn phone?"

She was fuming, pacing from one side to the other, perfect image of the feared queen she once was.

"Hello, to you too Miss Congeniality."

"Don't play with me Josh because I'm not in the mood for your stupid jokes."

"What did someone set fire to your house?"

He chuckled, he dared to chuckle!

"Yes, I did! I fucking made a fireball and Rebecca fainted on me, blacked out, completely gone. So, can you cut the crap now?"

"You did what?"

"Thank you Josh for blowing up my ears, as if I didn't had enough problems."

It's on times like these that she wonders why she even likes this man, let alone love him. But it's also for the fact that he is still on the line and not disconnected on her after she released hell on him that she knows there was no other option than to love him.

"Can you stop being a bitch and explain the situation to me? Or is that too much to ask?"

To calm down, that is what she needs. It's not his fault, it's not hers either, but her brain is missing a few connections after she saw the woman she loves fall to the ground like a sack of potatoes, so forgive her if concentrate on her breathing is not working right now.

"I decided to tell her everything today, all of it, from the Enchanted Forest to who I used to be, but she thought I was joking when I told her magic was real and the only way to make her believe was to show her."

"And she fainted?"

"Yes."

"She has been out for how long?"

"I don't know Josh, minutes only, five tops."

"Okay calm down."

"Calm down? How can I do that? Did you not hear me? What if… What if she just walks out on me Josh? What am I going to do? I should not have done this."

"Regina honey, magic is not a big deal to you but it is to her. She grew up in a world where this is not real, how did you expected her to act? Look, give her a few more minutes and if she does not wakeup call an ambulance, okay? But don't worry because she will, and when she does explain what happened to her and if she is calm enough and willing, you finish what you started. I'm proud of you and this is a good thing Regina, she deserves to know and you deserve someone who knows you, someone who you can be yourself with, truly. It's a lot to take in so give her space if she needs it."

The sound of another deep breath was all he could listen from the other side of the line.

"Do you want me to come over?"

"No, I think I got this. I'm going to came back to the bedroom and wait for her to wake up."

"Call me back, okay? No matter the time or the outcome, just let me know, and if you need me I can be there in a blink."

"I know, thanks Josh, bye."

"Bye."

She went to the kitchen get a glass of water, surely Rebecca would want one when she wakes, talking to Josh helped calm her nerves a bit but she was still on the edge with this situation. She was just getting back to her bedroom when she heard soft murmurs and her name being called by Becca's voice. The small distance felt like miles and her racing heart was beating in her mouth.

"Regina?"

The girl was looking at the door where the queen was standing with deep unfocused eyes that held uncertainty and were looking for reassurance. Of what, Regina could not tell.

"I'm here. Want some water?"

"Thank you."

As Rebecca drank the liquid the silence was cutting through the air and Regina's fear grew with every moment of it. Becca was just as cautious as the queen herself, holding onto her glass afraid that her world would come crumbling down if she let go. She was not afraid for her life, or that Regina could hurt her, but she was still afraid. She was afraid of a world, of a life, and deeds she never thought to exist. She was afraid of her own stupidity, that her reaction lead her girlfriend to believe she would no longer want her or any silly thing else.

"Have I been out for too long?"

The places were reversed, this time it was the queen on her knees in between the blonde's legs and moving to cares a face. Every inch closer to that creamy skin in slow motion with her shaky hands making their shy moments in order not to scare the woman.

"No dear, I don't think it has passed ten minutes, but if I'm honest it felt like days to me, I was worried sick."

Regina's voice small like Becca had never heard, as if with every syllable she was pleading for misery, begging for mercy and dying for forgiveness. Her eyes, oh those pools of truths were wet with stubborn tears and oozing feelings, the kind of feeling that could not be faked, the ones every one wished to be directed to. Love. Those orbs were pouring love and Rebecca knew that no matter the tale to come she would NOT give it up.

"So you can make fire, what else can you do?"

Straight to the point Regina thought to herself, well that is better than running as if her life depended on it. If she wanted the rest, or rather the whole story she would not deny it.

"I can do a lot of things, like travel between places, control things, shape shifting, heal, many things."

"Okay… Would you, well could you show me it sometime? I promise I'll try not to faint again."

The queen could tell how much the girl was still nervous, but the fact she was going alone and even trying to make a joke showed how there was still a chance for them, as long as the fact she was a witch, anyway.

"I would love to, but maybe first we could continue the talk?"

"I think that would be a good idea. Sit here with me?"

"Always."

Now looking face to face she took the courage to go on and to make her life an open book for the woman who stole her heart.

"So like I was saying I came from a land called the Enchanted Forest, and I was born into royalty, I'm a princess."

"What?! No way, that is so cool! Sorry I'll let you finish."

"Not so much fun, not for me anyway. My mother married herself into nobility, she never loved my father, the only reason she married him was because she wanted power, I don't really know what happened because it was a prohibited subject in the castle but father never became King and her wish to rule and became Queen was destroyed, until she thought she could use me to achieve it.

She was ruthless and evil toward every damned soul who dared not to bow down for her and follow her every command, unfortunately I was one of them. I could never be perfect, I could never be who she wanted me to be, I could never... For that, I paid my price almost daily. She used to say that she never wanted to hurt me, that she was only molding me to be the perfect Queen, that I just needed to learn how to be better.

I met a boy, my stable hand and fell for him, I found strength in him, a reason to breathe, to not give up, I wanted to run away with him and be happy for once in my life, but mother had other plans. One day I was out in the field with him and I heard screams calling for help, I wasted no time and jumped on my horse to help whoever was in need."

Intertwined hands were all Regina could look as she was telling the story of her life, tears falling freely from her eyes making the act of keeping her swollen eyelids open even more difficult.

"It was a girl, a twelve year old one, her horse got wild and she could not control it, I saved her, I saved the woman who would bring me pain beyond imagination. She was also a princess, but one without a mother and with a father looking for a replacement. ME. He proposed to marry me as a reward for saving his daughter and my mother said yes, she sold me to a man almost three times my age for power and there was nothing I could do about it. Later that night I went to find Daniel and ask him to run away with me, but the girl saw me and I had to tell her that I was in love with someone else and told her to keep that secret to herself.

Cora, my mother she tricked the girl into telling her and the next day went I was about to leave she tricked me, had my walls down and when I least expected she killed Daniel. She killed the man I loved in from of me and when I crying over his dead body she laughed, told me Love was weakness and that I was dumb to think that I could ever escape her.

I had no other choice but to marry him and the day I fixing the dress the girl told me Daniel would love to see me so beautiful, and that she was glad that she had told my mother the truth so I could be happy. I think that was the moment I lost sanity for the time. That was the very first time I saw blood and I felt the rage inside my veins, first of many to follow.

I hated her then, and while I was raped over and over again by that man in my wedding night I hated her more."

"Regina, look at me."

She touched her face in way so different than the one the King did and with its memory so fresh in her mind now that she was talking about him made the weight of that loving gesture overwhelming.

"Just let me finish, if I stop now I won't be able to continue it after. Please."

"Okay."

"My mother left by my hands, I did it earlier that day with the help of the man that taught her magic. He said he could help me, teach me how to control my magic, free me, I just did not know that the price was the rest of me I had left. She was gone but even then I could not leave, she had wards and spells preventing me to do it. So either way I had to marry Leopold, but now magic was running in my veins.

That man, the teacher, he was The Dark One and he used me as he pleased, but he was all I had, many nights I was left bleeding and he came to heal me, it took him forever to teach me how to do it myself, it think it was a way to make me more dependent of him.

For six years I was led further into the darkness, lost myself over and over until opportunity rose and I could have my way. I had a man kill the king, I regretted right after it because I dint get to see it, his pain, like did to me. That was the breaking point, the fact that I was no longer bound to that scum was all it took I think. I was set out to have my way, to force back what I lost and in my insanity, the only way to bring peace to my live was to have my revenge in Daniel's name bringing pain to the one my shattered mind deemed responsible."

"You went after the girl."

"Yes, I fought, I hunted and I killed, and no matter what I did, she was still happy, she still had love, I had to watch she find her true love while mine was dead and I had no one. The Dark One came to me then, with the final blow. He offered me a way to send everyone to a new land, where everyone would be away from their happiness and I would get mine. The price or it was too high, I had to use the heart of the thing I loved most, my father."

Silence

She could not go on and clearly Rebecca saw it, but also needed confirmation.

"Did you do it?"

Silence again, deep wounded silence.

"I'm here Rebecca."

The room was frozen, no yells, that must be good, or should she fear that is worse? Her hand was still clutched hard into her girlfriend's one, not letting go.

"What is the girl's name Regina?"

That was the first time since they began the talk that the queen looked up and that was how the name was said.

"Snow White."

* * *

_I was planing on having it all here but was getting too big. I'll try to upload the next one fast but i could be induced to do it faster lol._

_Tell me what you think :D_


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end of their talk is here and I hope you like it :D
> 
> English is not my language so there will be mistakes.
> 
> Don't own ouat.

"Snow White, as in 'Snow White and the seven dwarfs'?"

"Yes, they are real too, a real pain in my ass, if you want to know."

"So you are Snow's stepmother, The Evil Queen?"

"No Rebecca, I'm not her. I was that woman once upon a time, but I'm not her anymore, I haven't been her for 29 years."

"What?"

"The curse I cast created a city in this world, in the state of Maine called Storybrooke; all of its habitants were frozen during 28 years in some kind of a loop that made every day repeat itself. I could do what I wanted, and was also the only one who noticed the curse, besides the Dark One, known as Rumpelstiltskin. I could change some things and travel the world during it but it was not enough, so I adopted Henry with Rumple's help. Once again I was tricked and the baby he got me was none other than Snow's grandchild. Emma, Henry's birthmother is the Savior, the one destined to break my curse, so when Henry found her and brought her to Storybrooke it was matter of months before she broke it."

"Did he know of it?"

"Did Henry know of the curse? Yes, he did, but not by me. Snow gave him a book with the 'heroes' side of the story and he believed it."

"He believed in a book? And because of it he started to hate you?"

"Yes."

"At first I thought he was pushing me away because he was a loner and could not understand why his birthmother gave him away so I got him to see a doctor. After Swan was in town and I found about the book and the real motive for all of that I still made him go because I was afraid he would leave me, I let him believe he was crazy and I'm not proud of that. I also did some bad things to push the Savior away, one of them was to give her a poisoned apple turnover, but Henry is smart and he ate it in her place, one act of true love woke him up, one kiss to his forehead by Emma was all it took for him to came back to life and for my curse to break. The rest of it you know."

"Why are you telling me this now, Regina?"

"I love you Rebecca, I have for sometime but I was afraid, everyone who I loved usually hurt me but I had to overcome it to tell you."

She was looking deep, desperately trying to reach Rebecca's soul to make her believe, to get her to understand.

"I love you with all my heart, you won me in a way I thought no longer possible, all I think is us, what you mean to me, the life I want to have with you, but I cannot do it, I cannot build our future among lies. I want all of you, but for me to ask it of you it's only fair I give all of me to you, and no matter how much I try to hide it, that woman is still inside me, she is still my past. That's why I'm telling you this, so that maybe if you chose to stay with me we can start a clean life, together."

The quietness coming from her lover was getting her on the edge of madness. She dropped the blonde's hands looked from one side to the other of the room and finally got up from the bed. She was restless, feeling like this skin could not belong to her anymore, like she just wanted to rip her way out of it.

"Well, I asked you to stay until I was done, and now I am."

Her hands dropped to her sides, what a futile attempt to alleviate the pressure of her words and Becca's silence on her shoulders.

"Rebecca, say something, please."

Nothing , not one word, in fact the woman had not even spared a glance her way, she was in a trance with her eyes locked to the emptiness of her hands created by the lack of the queen's one.

"I get it, who would want to stay with The Evil Queen, I'm so…

Great, now she is rambling, Cora must me proud now.

"I love you Regina."

Shut down, a complete shutdown was happening in Regina's head after those three words fallowed by her name, grey matter, what the hell is that anyway? Fuck it, if she had any, it's definitely gone by now.

"What?"

She paralyzed and helplessly watched her girlfriend stand up from her king size bed and erase the distance between them.

"I love you and that is all I can say for sure right now. This is a lot to take in, all I've heard while growing up is a lie and now I'm dating a fairy tale character. No, that's a lie because you are more than a personage in a kid's book, especially with all the details they forgot to mention, but still, it's a lot to take in. I love you Regina Mills, and the Regina Mills I know and love would never kill or hurt anyone, what you did in your past it's really not easy to digest but it does not makes me afraid of you. I just need some time to figure it all out."

"You want to take a time apart?

Seeing the misery in those dark pools of love Rebecca came even closer to her queen (if she any doubt about that, it's definitely gone now) took her face in her hands, cleaned the remains of tears tracks and kissed those plump lips she came to love.

"No, never, I told you I love you and I do. What I'm saying is that I need time to process all of this. I need a few more answers if you are willing to give me and some time to get used to you being a witch, can I use that word?"

The word in question was pronounced in careful (so cute) way that made all of the queen's worries go away and her insides do some back flips like a true gymnast. Nodding like a crazy woman she responded her lover.

"You can call me all you want, and ask all you want too, as long as you are mine, but I don't think I can do that today, if that's okay."

* * *

Over the next month all they did was talk. Every night Regina would tell a little bit more about her magic, what she can or can't do, all the places she has been, all the 'characters' she met, those were the easy ones. Some days they talked about Cora, or Leopold and The Evil Queen, those talks always happened in the comfort of her bed with her head in Rebecca's belly. Tears would come to her eyes, not just because of the things done to her but also for the things she did. Regina never gave too many details about her deeds, only enough to make her girlfriend understand that even if she did not pick the name they called her, she definitely deserved it sometimes. After she spoke all she could for the night they would remain curled into the other, but sleep never did come easy for neither one of them.

Rebecca loves Regina and in this past month she has been trying to love The Evil Queen as well, not that it was a hard thing to do. Every part of the queen was just so Regina and so much difficult not to fall in love with, from the silly girl looking for attention and love, to the hard ass Ms. Mills that could make a freaking lion give up on his attack with only one arch of eyebrow and cold look.

Watching the dark brunette sleeping and be able to say that the woman has killed was something impossible. From this angle all you could think is how precious, sweet, innocent e she is and not a murderess. That could also be said when she was awake and free to be her true self, how Regina would talk about her kids and animals at work, is pure love, that is just pure to be honest and evil could never do or be that.

One feeling that never came to her was fear. It was something that someone should usually feel after finding out that their current girlfriend has taken lives, but she never experienced it. All she gets from this woman it's a sense of being protected, which is why she could overlook the blood, but that was not the only reason. Regret, despair and shame that irradiated from the queen when she talked about this ugly part of her would be the real motive she never left, and as long as it's her choice she never will.

* * *

**STORYBROOKE**

The city has calmed down, but will never be the same and till this day he still blames himself for it. That day Regina left town for the second time you could say that hell broke loose. When he got home Emma was yelling at his grandparents from the top of her lungs, calling their names and as soon as she saw him she ordered (yes, she ordered) him to make his bags because "They would not spend another night in this house of lies" and that is when things got really heated. Insults were thrown both ways, the Charmings being anything but charming and next thing you know there was a bunch of dwarfs in that tiny apartment, even the Blue Fairy was there, but none of that calmed Emma down.

They got two rooms in Granny's and they were going to look for a new place for the two of them first thing tomorrow. One of the things 'discussed' in the loft was how the city was chaos and if it was up to his birthmother she would remove their royal ass from it, she even said that they had no right because there were a bunch of others nobles in Storybrooke, so they were not special.

Two months and one completely disgrace of a perfect city after, the citizens marched to Town Hall and dragged the Charming Duo out of there. Elections took place in the city and five days later a woman who worked for Regina in her time as queen as Royal Advisor became the new Mayor, bringing the town almost close to how it was in its glory days in only three months.

Life sucks for him but maybe not so much anymore because Mr. Gold just knocked on his door to collect a debt with Emma, he is asking her to help him find his lost son that lives in New York City.

For some reason he had a good feeling about this trip he was about to take.

* * *

_What do you think will happen in NY? Tell me your thoughts. XX_


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry it took me forever but here it's the next one.
> 
> First I just wanted to thank all of you who are reading this, and also to all of you who takes your time to leave me a review, that means a lot to me.
> 
> Sorry for the mistakes.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Regina."

"Yes."

"Shut the fuck up and fuck me."

Any doubt the queen had vanished after hearing those words, and she set to work. Rebecca was calmer and more used to her magic by now, enough to ask her if she had ever used it during sex. Regina believes her eyes must have shined purple with that question and knew right away that she must be soaked, magic has such a strong grip on her body that every time she uses it sends her overdrive and to do it while fucking is just too amazing, to words be able to describe the feeling.

She had used a bit with Josh, but not much, especially not how she likes to use it with woman, the last time she had it all out was still in the Enchanted Forest almost 30 years ago, and she misses it so damn much.

This is how they ended up here in the queen's bedroom with Regina looking down at her girl just like a dangerous feline would do when about to strike its prey and Rebecca begging to be devoured.

Pushing the blonde onto her back and straddling her waist the devious brunette started with her magic, literally.

"If you are not comfortable with anything, anything at all, just say stop, okay."

A nod is all she got, but it's more than enough for her. Rebecca's eyes were almost black with desire and that was driving the queen mad, but she thought about having some fun and torturing the girl first before caving in to her own body desires. Looking down at the beauty beneath her she took hold of each of her hands and moved it to rest on the top of her head lowering her body along with it, she kissed her lover with all she had, and putting as much passion she could in it.

As they broke apart for breath Regina got up once more never breaking eye contact so she could see the exact moment that Rebecca realized her wrists were now bound to the bed by the queen's magic. That moment was worth the world, the girl's pupils dilated even more and she let out a sexy gasp, followed by another bigger one when with a flick of Regina's hand they were now both naked.

"I really like this magic thing."

"We haven't even started dear."

With that said the queen moved to kiss and nibble a rock hard nipple. The first touch of that hot tongue in it made Rebecca moan loud from pleasure and surprise. Yes, surprise because her lover's mouth was on her left breast and yet she was feeling the exact same thing on her right one too.

"Fuck Regina!"

The queen looked up just to give her and evil little laugh and wink at her while saying.

"Some would say that this is what I'm trying to do."

If the girl was thinking about words to speak they all died in her throat the moment her body caught up with her brain and she realized that now the felling of Regina's mouth on her was not only on both her nipples, but was at the same time making their way lower and to her pubic bone. It was so real, like the queen was kissing her at the same time in three places, when in fact Regina was towering over her, supporting her weight in both hands on each side of her head with a winning and arrogant smile on her plump lips, lips that were nowhere near her skin.

Rebecca was trembling, poor girl, little did she know that 'evil' was a title she also had conquered by her abilities in bed and how much of a tease she could be. The magic touches continued all over her body, every once in a while changing its course in her white creamy skin, but making sure not to get any where near the place she wanted the most, and she was completely gone in them.

The queen was loving every bit of it, from the way Rebecca's body was tensing and trembling to how breathless the blonde one was, the view alone was enough to make her soaked just like the girl under her and in no way she could stop now.

Deciding to tease even more Regina moved one of her legs in between her lover's one putting pressure in her sweet spot, and making the girl release a moan from deep within her throat.

"Babe, please."

Score for the queen, this is exactly how she wanted her woman, begging.

"Please, what? Tell me what you want."

The husky whisper in her ear made shivers roll down Rebecca's body in the most delicious way and making every hair on her body stand up. Regina must have taken this day to drive her mad, is the only thing playing on her mind, that and the uncomfortable state of arousal she was in.

"Fuck me, I need you."

Rebecca never got a verbal response, but she did get a hand traveling down her body almost in slow motion and the number of 'mouths' in her body increase. Regina's hand reached her mound and she was in heaven and hell all at once, the feeling of bliss for being touched was getting crushed by how all she got was more teasing.

"You are so wet for me."

The blonde thinks she hears words leave her queen's lips but she can't be sure, not with the way said queen is giving her clit tight little merciful circles every now and then, alternating between it and slowly pushing one finger inside her. Everything about this is extremely erotic and mesmerizing, definitely the best sex of her life. The way Regina is riding her leg making it wet with her juices, the way the muscles from her abdomen are flexing, how hot her woman looks with her eyes slightly purple and never braking eye contact with her, the wet sounds and moans that are echoing around the room, the different yet mind blowing feeling of several mouths on her body that are so Regina in every caress. All of it is too much and not enough at the same time.

The queen taking pity on her lover went to kiss her lovely lips the same time she pushed three fingers deep inside her and made one of her magic mouths work on that pink proud standing and engorged pleasure button while all the others ones took position in her other most erogenous zones.

Needless to say that the blonde woman was not able to kiss back only moan and move her hips to accommodate and actuate Regina's ministrations.

"I'm so close, so close."

She kept saying it over and over while her body was tensing even more, the fire burning in her clit spreading through all of her body, her pussy squeezing the queen's skilled fingers, her eyes locked to her lover's ones and that edge so close to her.

Regina sensing the close orgasm used her leg to give more power to her trusts, kissed her woman again with the love she feels for her and worked the both of them to the climax of their lives.

"Cum for me Becca, cum with me."

Panting mess, jelly limbs and huge smiles is the best way to describe the pair right now.

"That was incredible. We are definitely using your magic again."

Rich laughter and a kiss followed her words and she could not be more content with it.

"We most definitely are, and that are other things we could try as well."

"That is not all? Fuck. What else?"

"I can't expose all of my tricks like that now can I? You are just going to have to wait and feel."

Why must she have picked the cockiest motherfucker to love? She does not recall it right now, lie, of course she does, and she can never forget all the reasons to love Regina Mills.

"Bitch."

Rebecca's response was just too hilarious not to laugh, and laugh the queen did.

"I never denied it, dear."

* * *

**The next day, somewhere in NY**

"Is he my son?"

He could not believe this, a man he does not know, who apparently is Rumpelstiltskin's son, is asking his mother if he is his child. This can't be real. It just CAN NOT be true.

"Yes."

Except it is. She lied to him, he put so much into her and she lied to him. The Savior, the woman who he left his real mother to had lied to him when they just met and he chose her. He is angry at her but mostly at himself for being so stupid, all the while after he drove Regina out of town he thinks of his mistakes but at least he could hold onto the thought that Emma never lied to him or made him think he was crazy like his brunette mother did, but now. Now what?

He does not know the answer so he runs, he jumps the window and surely Emma will think he is just taking some air but he does not stay. He goes down the steps and runs, he runs into a city he does not know and to be honest, right now he doesn't even care.

* * *

_So? Tell me your thoughts about this chapter and about what you think is going to happen to Henry._

_Hopefully the next one won't take so long XX_


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I know it took me forever but this chapter didn't want to be finished at all, but it's here and its a bit bigger. The next one wont take me so long I promise. Hope you guys like it.
> 
> English is not my language so as always sorry for my mistakes.
> 
> Leave me a review and feel free to PM at anytime, it helps a lot to know your thoughts.

****

"He is missing."

That was the first thing that came out from Ruby's mouth when Regina picked up her phone and for a minute the Wolf believed the line had been disconnected, but no it was the queen that had lost her ability to talk. She didn't have to ask who her friend was talking about and now this rock that has been in her chest during the day was explained. She woke up like that, thinking that something was wrong but couldn't quite place what. She felt this before, the first time was the day Daniel died, her first miscarriage coming in second but the biggest one of all was that awful day where Henry went to Boston.

Not knowing where he was, searching the whole damn town and not finding her son was like missing a limb or four, and now here she is again with that same fear but worse because she was nowhere near him, or so she thought. When she found her voice it was still shaking and week but it came out anyway.

"What happened?"

"Emma and Henry went to New York…"

"They are here? Why?"

Being interrupted was not high on Ruby's list of things to be angry at right now, mostly because she knows how much Regina loves the boy and how the queen's patience runs thin whenever she is stressed.

"They went with Gold to help him find someone and that someone turned out to be Henry's father."

No words were needed after that revelation, the reasons why were clear to Regina now.

"She lied and he ran away."

"Yes."

She knows this is not the time to gloat but something inside her just snapped and realization that the table had been turned hit her like a bomb and she couldn't stop this warm feeling to flow through her veins at the thought that this time Henry ran from "his real mother" and "his perfect family" and that he may have realized that 'perfect' is not the word to describe the Charmings and their actions.

Yes, it was a hell of a nice feeling, being a reformed Evil Queen or not, she loved it. Maybe not so much this second because her son is still missing but something she will take great pleasure once she makes sure he is safe and sound.

"He has been missing for how long?"

"No more than forty minutes, do you want the address?"

Does she? Of course she does. No matter what he will always be hers and she will always give her life for him, even if he doesn't want her love and care he will always get it. She set her GPS and rode off to the location Ruby gave her good thing she was already off work. She got there about twenty minutes later and Miss Swan was at the sidewalk with her hands in her hair looking desperate and lost. It does the queen good to the Savior like this for two reasons.

One because this means that she became a mother and that Henry is in safe hands, two because Swan used to mock her every time she was not aware of her son's whereabouts and would lose her composure. When the blonde spots her, Regina sees something she never thought possible, relief. It's clear in the way Emma's shoulders drops and how all of her worries seem to tone down immediately and her green orbs shine with something much like hope.

The road they have walked is long and every other look to this woman in front of her shows her how much, to see the daughter of Snow White who once was nothing but easy going and who loved to flaunt that 'finding people is what she does' looking at her like she is her best option in a sea of uncertainty is refreshing, to say the least.

* * *

Emma was thrilled to see the black Mercedes coming her way. She was going crazy from worry, she thought that Henry was only taking his time to process everything but after forty minutes and no sight of him she went to see how he was doing and much to her surprise all she found was his phone on the staircase.

She felt helpless and lost in a way she never thought possible, not knowing where Henry was brought a pain to her chest bigger than the whole planet and all she could think was this is how Regina felt all those times and if she was being honest with herself she would have acted just like the queen did, fear of losing your child makes you blind.

Emma had no idea what to do, her son was lost in a city she doesn't know, with danger lurking in every corner and her hands were tied. Calling the police was worthless, they got a picture of him and would report if they saw Henry but they would not go looking out for him like she wanted because he had been gone for a short period of time. Rumple was powerless because he needs the dagger with him for his magic to work outside Storybrooke but apparently it was smarter to leave the only fucking thing that can kill him miles away, in a city filled with people that hate him than bring alone with him. Huff! How she hates this man.

She called Ruby, she doesn't exactly knows why she did it, it's not like the wolf could help back in Storybrooke, maybe it was because she needed to hear a friend's voice to help her clear her mind but she was glad she did it. When the waitress told her that Regina was living in NYC and that she could help, the Savior almost fell to her knees and thanked God for it. She told Gold and Neal and went to the building door to wait for the queen.

"Regina."

"What happened?"

Straight to the point and full on Mayor mode it would seem but the Savior couldn't care less, she was glad for the brunette's presence and bitchy Regina she could handle as long as the woman helped, which she had no doubt she would.

"Turns out that Henry's father is actually Gold's long lost son and he got upset about it because I told him that Neal had died and he ran away."

"Explain to me how can you see your child running away, in a city where he does not know may I add, and don't try to chase him down? Are you that much retarded Miss Swan?"

She has not missed Madam Mayor this much, that is for sure. Is this really the time for this? Can't she get yelled at after her son is found?

"I didn't see it okay? Jesus! I know better Regina."

"Apparently Miss Swan you do not, otherwise we would not be finding ourselves in this situation."

"I thought he needed some air that is all, but when I went to look for him he was already gone and God! I can't do this."

* * *

Emma was pulling her hair even more now and probably had already made a mark on the floor from all this passing. What in the hell was this girl on about? Has she finally lost it?

"What?"

"Flash news Your Majesty I'm not cut out for this shit, ever since you're gone I've been trying but I'm not fucking you! I never had a mother so I don't know how to be one, especially not one as perfect as you were. Yes, you are evil and all but I know the truth, the kid is fine and he has a huge heart and that is because of how you raised him. I may be a "Charming" – not that I wanted – but I'm not that stupid. I'm not the one he wants when he is sick or has a bad dream, it's you, okay! I don't know how to do this right, the only thing I'm good at is screwing things up and now my kid is lost in New fucking York so if you could please get down from your high horse and find him I would be forever grateful."

"Get me something of him and I'll put a location spell on it for you."

"Take it Regina you are the one that should go, he must be upset and he won't want to see me right now, I'm afraid he will run again when he sees me and I can't take that now."

Emma said handing the jacket to the queen in a tone a voice that showed she was truly tired and defeated a voice that matched Regina's next words.

"I don't think he would come with me either."

"He will."

Is the last thing Swan said to her before pushing her back to her Mercedes. Could she believe her? Should she believe her is the better question. As she drove she found herself as much if not more lost than Henry. Emma's words in her mind cutting her flesh and breaking her walls making her feel exposed again. Surely the Savior was wrong and only said all those things because she was scared, she would not hope for the love of a boy that denied it of her for so long. She will find him and return him to his real mother and nothing more, he wouldn't want anything more of her and it's better for her sanity to come to terms with it.

Fifty seven minutes is how long she took to find him, street after street she was getting more and more anxious wondering where he was and if he was well. From far away she sees a boy sitting at a bus stop and her heart flutters at the sight, he is alright. He doesn't notice her, he likely would if his mind wasn't so far from his body, even by far she could tell that he was deep in thoughts. She calls Swan and the only thing she says is "I found him' before ending the call and making her way to her little prince, a prince that is no longer hers or little.

"Henry."

He jumps with her voice that removes him from his thinking and when he turns his body to get a better look at the person that called him his eyes widen and a gasp leaves his lips and right after it a word that Regina has not heard in a long time.

"Mom, you are here."

"What are you doing Henry? Running away is dangerous especially in this city; you can't just do this every time you get upset." She chastises him while moving to sit next to him and looking him right in the eye.

"Emma lied to me and apparently more than once because she told me she didn't know where you were and yet here you are."

He avoids her gaze and Regina sees herself moving to grab his chin and make him look at her. The move was maternal and usual and extremely painful for her.

"She didn't know I lived here, she called Ruby because she was desperate looking for you and needing a friend and Ruby called me after it so I could help her look for you." she puts her hand down now that she got his attention and also before he flinches away from her touch like he did many times before.

"She still lied about my dad and she knows I hate lies."

"It may be a surprise but the world is not about you Henry, she lied to you but she had her reasons. No matter how hurt you were by it you can't keep acting like this, how do you expect people to treat you like an adult and talk to you like equals if your first reaction to everything is to ran away and not care about everyone else's feelings?"

Her words were harsh but they were long overdue. He couldn't go on acting like this; this needed to end and his dislike for her was evident so this talk wouldn't make much difference for their relationship but maybe he would think about it and grow up.

"Why did you?"

His broken voice and his question threw her off guard a bit, though she decided that coming clean was something she had to do.

"Because I wanted you to love me and I was afraid that if you learned the truth you would leave me just like you did, just like everybody else did. I lied to protect myself from the pain of losing you, to not see you walk away calling me a monster without letting me explain anything. It was wrong and it was selfish and I know it, but you were all I had and I didn't want to live in a world where you were no longer in my life."

With every sentence she could see the boy close himself more and more into his shell and she thought about stopping but her mouth didn't want to collaborate. Tears were in her eyes by now and to her great surprise she was not the only one.

"I'm sorry." Was all she heard before she watched her son completely break down in front of her. His whole body was shaking with the strength of his sobs and even thought her first thought was to stay away the mother in her took over and she hugged Henry with all she had hopping that something inside him would recognize her warmth from all of those times she nursed him and he would calm down. To her great despair he started crying harder but instead of moving away he held onto her tighter and kept repeating "I'm sorry" over and over again.

How selfish of her to take pleasure from this, to have him shattered in her arms and only think about how right this is but she can't help it, not with the amount of time that has passed since the last time he asked her for comfort. His body is no longer tiny nor is his weight something she can carry like when he was younger but he still fitted her perfectly. He fits just like that first time she held him and he stopped crying, she asked him for a chance to love and to give him her all and he accepted it bringing to her life a light brighter than anything she has ever seen in her miserable life. She was far from caring that they were in a public place making a scene, all she cared now is him and memories of nights when the only place he could sleep in peace was right beside her that she can never forget. Oh! How it hurts to know what it's like to be loved by this boy and having it torn it away from her, not as much as it hurts to be reminded of it with him taking comfort from her and knowing that once this is over, his affection will be nothing but another mere memory for her.

* * *

He ran until he could no more but he was still so close to them and that was not something he was comfortable with, his luck was a bus stop right at the end of the street and the bus that passed only minutes after it. He stayed in it for half an hour until he decided he was far enough and got down on the next stop. The drive helped him with nothing but distance, his mind and heart too clouded with confusion. This was not fair, why couldn't things be the way they are supposed to be? She is a hero and heroes can't lie because it's wrong, so why did she? Why did him? But most importantly if everybody does than why the only one convicted was his adoptive mother? Why is she the only one paying for her lies? The questions are there but so are the answers and they are the ones that hurts the most. He decided her penalty, it was him who told her to leave, and it was him who LIED to her saying he never loved her. He gave the final blow believing it to be the winning strike when all it gave him was misery.

Emma's lie made him angry, but the sole reason for his escape was not it. Sitting at that bus stop all he thinks is how lost he is, how much lies have destroyed his life and how much he wanted to be in his old house, with his old and true mother and live his old life. Finding his blonde mother and breaking the curse he doesn't regret, although he wishes it had been different, that he had acted better and had looked for answers, true ones at least, before giving Regina pain and adding his name to the list of people who wronged her. And now, here she is holding him while he cries for the time he lost with her and what is even sadder is that she doesn't even know that is the reason for his tears.

* * *

Next chapter we will have more of Regina and Henry together and what the future holds for them.

:D


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey people, here I am again. YEAH!
> 
> So as usual english is not my language so...
> 
> Another thing, if you guys want to find me at tumblr to talk or to what ever, feel free to, my user name is regina-queenofeverything

After Henry had calmed down and his sobs turned into small whimpers Regina decided it was time take him back to Emma.

"We should go Henry, your mother must still be very much worried about you, trust me she won't calm down until she has you in her arms."

"You're my mother too you know." He mumbled and Regina's body went still as a rock. Has she finally gone mad or did he really say that? The boy as if reading her mind removed himself from her embrace and with his gaze locked into her, he spoke again.

"You're were and forever will be my mother. I was stupid and I was confused because I was under the stupid belief that I wasn't supposed to love you because the book said you were evil, but I was terribly wrong and I know that now. Emma may have given birth to me but it was you who was there when I was growing up and needed somebody. You did bad things in your life, but to me you had been nothing if not loving until I started kicking you out of my life, you were all I could have hoped for a mother and I shouldn't have pushed you away for your mistakes."

The waterfall was back in his face after speaking the words that have been weighting him down for all this time. He could not believe that after all this time she was here in front of him and he could finally at least try and fix what he broke so carelessly. Regina finding him today was a sigh, a greater force, fate, or whatever you chose to call it, giving him probably his last chance to regain his mother and all the colors of his now dull life that went away with her.

"That day in the park I lashed out on you because I was afraid to face the truth, I couldn't understand why I wasn't satisfied living with them, I was angry because I already knew that I rather be in your care than the Charmings and that made no sense to me. Surely if they were the heroes like my book said it should be great, but they are clueless to all that it's not about them and their perfect world; they didn't even remember my birthday, something you never forgot. I called you evil while I was playing the villain part to you and I hate myself for it. I miss you, I miss your food and how you would give me a goodnight kiss every night. You are my real mom and I know you don't want anything to do with me after all I've done and that it's okay, I think."

Looking down at his lap and stirring in his seat he hurried his last words in just one breath. "I just wanted to say how sorry I am for all of it."

"Henry, look at me." When the boy made no effort to move the queen took his chin in her hands to turn his face to her and now cupping his cheek she spoke the words from her heart. "You are wrong Henry, having you in my life is all I want. You are my light and you saved me how could I stop loving you? I wronged you too; please don't let this eat you away because it's not true. I lied to you so I could protect myself and I'm aware of it, where we stand today is not all your fault. I didn't know how to love very well, I still don't but I'm trying to get there. I never had much of it growing up and every time I got a taste of it I would watch it slip away from me, it does not justify the things I did but I hope it can make you understand a bit more until I'm ready to tell you the whole truth, if you would like to know."

"Yeah, I would."

Patting her lap Regina went to get up and take her son hands to help him move away from this dreadful bench that made her ass flat and hurting. "We should go now honey."

His crestfallen face with the idea of leaving made a small creep in her face, he wanted her. After all this time and all the pain he was here willing to love her, to have her. She only hoped it was true. "We will talk more, I promise."

The ride back to Neal's apartment was filled with talk, the first real talk mother and son had since so very long and Regina wouldn't trade this moment for nothing.

"That man that went with you to Storybrooke, is he your boyfriend?"

Henry's inquisitive voice was too much to take and she cracked, rich, beautiful and true laughter coming from her throat, enthralling enough to have the boy laugh along with her. How knew that this is where she would be today, sitting in her car, driving around NY with her son and talking about boys. Not even Rumpelstiltskin could have seen that one coming.

"No dear, Josh is a friend of mine, a big friend of mine that helped me a lot. I have a girlfriend though, her name is Rebecca."

Regina had no problems talking about Becca, Henry knows she is bisexual; he has ever since he was six and they saw two men kissing on TV. She remembers as if it was today, his sweet innocent voice asking about what he never saw, what he didn't understand.

" _Is it okay for two boys to be kissing, mommy?"_

" _Of course it's honey. You see, love is what matters and not who the other one is. Some boys love girls, some boys love boys, you can even find boys that can love both girls and boys, and the same goes for girls."_

" _Do you love girls, mommy? Is that why I don't have a daddy?"_

_Oh! How she remembers the way her heart broke with his words. "No sweet that is not why, mommy does like girls and boys too, but you don't have another mommy or a daddy because you are the only one that I love. You are more than enough for me."_

" _You are enough for me too momma." A hug to her middle and a sloppy kiss to her face was the end of it and then his attention was stolen by the TV once more, by nightfall she wished she had a mind of a six year old as well so she could forget about it too. Yes, her little prince was more than she could hope for but she would never stop wishing for true love that would come in another form, the romantic kind._

"Are they the ones helping you learn?"

For a moment she didn't get his question, so she looked at his face and the look he was giving her was the same one of that day 5 years ago. "Yes, but they are not alone in it." At his confused face she went on. "You played and still plays a big part, and well also my doctor, he is much like Archie, but better."

"That is nice." She heard him but before she could say something her phone started to ring, he saw on her screen it was Emma so she put it on speaker.

"Where are you Regina?"

"Always a pleasure to speak with you too Miss Swan, I'm about five minutes away from where we met."

"Is Henry with you?"

"Did you think I would have found him only to leave him on the side of the road? Of course he's here with me." In the car you could hear clearly the angry grunts coming from the other side of the line and the queen let out a little chuckle at that, much to her surprise, so did the pre-teenager sitting on the passenger seat.

"I'll be there waiting." That was all that came out from the savior's lips before she hung up the phone.

"What happens when we get there?"

He sounded do young then, so afraid, so… broken. "What do you mean?"

"Will you just drive away or will you stay?" How can he ask her that? There is no way she would just leave him now, not after today, not after their talk, most importantly not after this huge sized piece of hope now stubbornly taking residence in her chest.

"I could never just drive away from you if you want me by your side Henry. How about we see what Emma's plans are and go from there? If she is planning on staying in the city for the night you can both go to my house, where we can have a real conversation, if not we'll figure something out. Would you like that?"

"No, I would love it."

* * *

_So this was a bit smaller than usual but I needed to cut here. Next chapter is half way done, and the rest I have it all mapped out so really I don't think will take much time. I'm trying to make updates as fast as I can but life is just not agreeing with me at the moment. Sorry._

_Anyway, I hope you liked this one, leave me a review with what you think are the most important parts of "the real talk" they will have to make and also what you thought about this chapter. XX_


	39. Chapter 39

When Gold knocked on her door telling her that she was going to New York to help him find his son, not in a million lives she thought that the man she was looking for was going to end up being Neal. The man who made her fall in love with him, used her, knocked her up and let her go to jail for his shit, and if that was not enough, her own son decided to mess with her and simply ran away leaving her to deal with Rumple and Rumple Jr. alone. Damn kid, couldn't you have waited a bit?

Her feeling were dimmed by the fear she was experimenting for her missing child, but ever since she got the call from Regina telling her that she had the boy the blonde sheriff became too aware of where she was, but more importantly who she was with. Looking around at an ugly looking shoe box of an apartment all she could think was of her heart break from so many years ago, all those days locked up for something that was not all her fault to begin with, giving up her baby because if she thought she would never be good enough before after prison she would never ever stand a chance to give him more than shame and a crappy life.

"Emma, we need talk." Neal came out of his room after what she assumes was a difficult conversation with his father. As if being the daughter of a charming duo was not enough now she had to stomach that fact that her son was the grandchild of freaking Rumpelstiltskin.

"We have nothing to talk about." Everything in her posture was screaming 'leave me alone' and 'get the fuck out' but it would be too easy if the idiot did just that, wouldn't it?

"What you mean nothing to talk about Emma, how about the fact that I have a son?"

Emma scoffed in his face and pointed a finger at the man she once cared for so much. "Henry is not and will never be your son, do you hear me? You gave that up when you left me to rot in jail Neal, don't mistake things. I'm not here for me or for the kid; I'm only paying my end of the deal, something that got me fucked up because MY son got so upset by seeing you he ran away."

"He only did it because you told him I was dead, what the hell was that about?" Bad move cowboy, Gosh what was wrong with her to fall for this shithead in the first place? Desperation for love would be the answer, another thing to add to the file: mommy and daddy put me on a three and fucked me up. True Love really does wonders for people's mind.

"What would you have me do? Crush his hopes and dreams saying his dad was some random guy that got the best of me? You wanted me to tell him how you played me and left me with no other option but to give him up? It was way better to lie and say that you died a hero than tell him the truth."

"I know it was wrong of me to do that, but I had to Emma." The nerve of this guy is unbelievable; does he really think she is going to fall for this?

"You had to? Don't give me this shit, you didn't have to do a thing, you did it because you wanted to and nothing else."

"That's not true. August, he came to me and told me who you were and that you had to fulfill your destiny. I had to let you go." He is pleading now and worse he is actually moving for her but hell no, his dirty paws will never again touch her skin as long as she lives.

"How dare you! We could have been together, you could have told me the truth, and you could have kept your fucking promise to never leave me! You know what? I can't do this now, I'm out and don't you dare follow me."

She left the apartment and she made sure to slam the door as hard as she could on her way out, she was running down the stairs when she called Regina to find out if she was going to take long to get here because she was not lying when she said that she could not stand to be near Neal anymore. She need a drink and she needed one fast, but before she had to make sure her son was safe, only when that is out of her mind that she will let herself lose it.

* * *

Regina barely got a chance to turn the engine of her Mercedes off before a very pissed off Emma Swan was throwing the back seat door open, getting inside and yelling for the queen to drive. The brunette woman was quite speechless but seeing the evident discomfort and desperation in the savior's features she quickly started driving away.

"Mom, are you okay?" Henry's voice got Emma out of her daydream and to the painful reality. "No kid, I'm everything but okay but that is not the point right now. Want to tell me what the hell were you thinking Henry? This is not Storybrooke where no one will mess with you, this is New York and you should be thanking whatever God that there is that you are in one piece. You had me worried sick and I don't even want to think what would have happened if Regina wasn't around to find you."

Okay, the queen was not expecting that, it was all very truth but to hear the savior saying it is still quite shocking.

"I'm sorry Emma, I know it was wrong of me to do so." That's my little prince, mine, again. What a great day this one is turning out to be, for some at least. Emma had her body squeezed between the two front seats and was looking at Henry in the eye. "It was wrong of me to lie to you kid, but running away like this is not an option anymore, not that it ever was."

"I know that too, mom already gave me the speech and I promise I won't do it again." If the savior had anything to say about the mom part she definitely kept it to herself and what is even better, after Henry said that the brunette woman had done the talking she simply sat down right on her sit and let out a nice long and tired. "Good."

"So mom, where are you taking us?" For so long she had thought she would never hear that coming from her little prince again that for a moment she actually expected Emma to answer him, but that would be a stupid question given she was the one driving and only after that was settled in her mind that she allowed the words to make their way to her brain once more, memorizing the sound now so alike but so different from the last time he had called her that.

She had heard him calling the savior as much and for some this may be irrational, but the weight of that term said to her was different in a way she just couldn't describe. After today she could come back to saying how 'mom' is her favorite thing anyone ever called her, just like she did when a toddler Henry had said it as his very first word.

Emma was the one to speak first anyway. "Actually Regina could you drop us at the hotel we are staying? I really need a shower and a change of clothes if that is not too much to ask."

"Sure, what is the address?" The blonde one gave her a piece of torn paper to the queen and the moment the one behind the wheel read it she simply refused it and you could clearly feel rather than just listen the distress that thought brought to the woman.

"You are staying there, are you out of your mind? That is one horrible place to stay, especially with a boy, it's too dangerous there."

"Christ woman, it's not like I am rich or anything and all of the nicely enough hotels that fit my pocket were taken, it was either this or worse."

The girl is definitely awake now and ready to shoot but that does not matter, Regina is a queen and a royal will always have the last say in the matter - even if Emma is also a princess but that is pointless to her - and this time will be no different so she is just going to put it out there and that is it. "Well you are not spending a night in that dump, which is a ridiculous notion, even for you."

"Funny how you are not even asking, do you even have a better place or this is just to piss me off?" The right thing the ex mayor wanted to hear, isn't the savior too predictable and so easy to fall for her games?

"I'm taking you to my home dear, of course." To be honest, the hotel they had booked wasn't even that bad, but grumpy Miss Swan or not she would never take down an opportunity to spend a night or just a few more hours with her son.

* * *

The apartment complex was definitely not what Henry was expecting, it was grand and in a fancy looking neighborhood but it wasn't a mansion with his mother's family crest in it. Either way as he enter it he realized that maybe it didn't had countless rooms and so much space but it was still really big. The penthouse has five bedrooms, two offices, a enormous kitchen followed by a living room as big as the one back in Storybrooke and the boy realized that this place fitted his adoptive other as much as the one back home.

Home, could he even call it that anymore? Because it definitely does not feel like it, not since he got that damned book and started screwing things up. Those thoughts lead him to thinking, now that they were at least talking would she come back home? Was Storybrooke even her home? How happier was she in this big city away from those people that only judge her? And if she never went back, could he come live with her? Would Emma let him?

'That is thinking too far', echoed in his head. 'What you need to ask yourself is if she even forgiven you, all of that was probably just an act of pity towards a pathetic little you.' The mean words coming from that tormenting and venomous voice made him falter and in need to lash out but he refused to act on it. He had done it before, refused to believe that his mother's words were true and here he is, in misery missing her presence in his life. This time he is going to do this the right way, she had said that they would talk and that she loved him, so he is going to wait and he is going to trust her in this. From now on no more jumping into conclusions, and no more accepting the crazy and disturbing voices in his head to make up his mind.

The insistent calling of his name in the other room forced him to clear his mind and focus on right now in New York City, on the right now with both his mothers in this house that could eventually and if he is super lucky became his home, on the right now with the possibility of being a Mills once more, maybe the right now was a good place to be. "Yeah!?"

"I'm going to the market to buy something to fix us dinner, do want to come with me?" Does he ever?

* * *

Regina and Henry are gone, not gone gone, but you get her point. She was exhausted, both from the panic she felt when she realized her kid was lost in the concrete jungle and because of that bastard Neal (she should have punched him when she realized it was him she was after) so when the queen offered to take Henry away for an hour so she could calm herself she almost kissed the woman. No joke, she literally and so stupidly went for a hug with the fucking former Evil Queen and made a move to her mouth. Emma Swan definitely has a death wish and thankfully the woman only separated herself from her embrace and told her in a calm voice to not do that ever again. In her defense Regina had been pretty hands on back at the Rabbit Hole in Ruby's birthday party so it was a honest mistake. If such a thing even exists.

Now that she is alone she can look around and inspect the place and Madam Mayor has a fine taste in decor, the penthouse is even fancier than the white mansion, something the savior doubt could be a thing. The living room is just her dream everything wrapped up in one place. The couch is black leather, comfy and just the perfect size to fit two people in all the sexy position that guarantee you a fantastic fuck. Has she taken him for a test drive yet? Of course she has Swan, Regina Mills is not the kind of woman to not have people begging to be fucked by her, she thinks to herself.

Moving on to the next topic because thinking too much about the queen's sex life will do no good for her, she thinks that all of the others stuff in the room are really cool as well but what really made her weak in the knees is the biggest flat TV she has ever seen in her life. She doesn't even have to think too much to picture herself living in this place, she most definitely would NEVER leave here, except to take things to the master bedroom with a certain brunette woman, and can you blame her?

Her sight now lands on the liquor cabinet and her previously need for booze is now back on full mode. It only takes a moment of hesitation before she is making her way to her new prey: an overpriced bottle of whiskey. She is half way to pouring her drink when a picture steels her attention, or rather the ones in it that it does. Of all the things she imagined Regina to be related to, posing as lovebird was NOT one of them. Who is this woman by the way? Who that hell she thinks she is to steal her queen and have the woman take cute pictures like this? Is this why Regina pushed her away?

During her musings the green eyed savior spilled her drink all over herself and the pristine marble floor. Great, just great! It would seem that if an Emma Swan on a regular basis is a real clumsy woman, but an Emma Swan blinded by the green eyed monster has no limits.

"Fuck! Regina is going to serve my guts for the kid as the main course. What do I do?" Taking long deep breaths the savior decides that the best thing to do is take off her shirt and to try and dry off the floor with it. She has to go to the bathroom and soak her blouse in the water to wash away the alcohol and come back to swipe the floor two times. When it's all done she looks at her tank top and decides to just toss it away in the laundry room because it's clearly ruined.

The walk back to the 'crime scene' is done with the upper part of her body covered only by her black lacy bra with her head down so deep in thought that she missed a blond woman just closing the door, but she sure as hell heard her outraged voice.

"Who the hell are you?"

* * *

Hope you liked this chapter, please feel free to tell me your thoughts on it.


	40. Chapter 40

REGINA'S HOUSE

She had a long day, a very tiring and stresses full one and she was more than ready to kiss it goodbye. Becca's publisher was driving her crazy with all things related to her book that was to be released next month, and though she has been through this madness before and understands the urgency of all this, today she only wants to cuddle with her love and forget everything and everyone.

The kind of relationship she shares with Regina is something new and unexpected for her because she had long dropped the idea that fairy tales romances were true, instead of being clichés fabricated by writers, much like herself, that dreamed too much of a match made in heaven and more importantly wanted their stories to sell. Sure, she had her fair share of relationships along the way and she can even say that in the beginning of each she had developed some kind of feelings for them but neither were strong enough to last.

Many lonely nights that were spent with the company alcohol lead her to the conclusion that the problem was her, that maybe she wasn't meant to know love, or to love to the degree she read about or saw it in a movie. Although after only one magical touch of plump, red and perfect lips that belongs to Regina she figured out that her Exs were to blame for it. Their mistake, none of them was her sassy little queen.

Regina often says how much she saved her, how she gave her something she never thought she would have again, but what the brunette doesn't get is that Rebecca believed she would never experience it in the first place. This love strong enough to work every cell in her body into a frenzy every damn time she even thinks of her girlfriend, or this crazy bliss she feels when she is surrounded by her arms is something she came to think wasn't even real to the world of humans. She was lost in this horrible land devoid of everything good and worth living until her very own savior stole her away to a magic land.

Putting her keys in her lover's apartment she can actually taste the freedom, the love and the calmness she always feels whenever she is in here in the place she came to see as her home, thought by the time the door is open, calmness is the last thing on her mind.

"Who the hell are you?"

Her mind must be playing tricks with her, yeah it has got be it. What other reason would she have to come across a blonde woman half naked in Regina's house? Their fucking house, as the queen likes to call it for fucks's sakes. She is moving dangerously close to the apparently mute woman now and all she is thinking is why Regina would do this?

"I'm going to ask again seeing as you did not hear me the first time around, who are you?" Her 'don't fuck with me' tone must have worked because the girl finally came to herself and started to talk, not that it helped anyway because the chick's voice and her attitude is making the situation worse.

"You the one walking inside a house without the owner, you tell me."

Up close and personal is one thing Rebecca always knew how to be, even before meeting the very queen of it. That is how she ended up only inches from the savior's face. "Let me tell you one thing, I don't care who you are or who the hell you think that you are, but I don't like games, so cut the crap and start talking because I'm losing my patience with you."

"I'm Emma Swan, and it's you who better tone it down before I'll show you who I am." Today really is a bitch. Now she gets it all. How dumb was she to think that Regina would be cheating on her, of course she is not, most definitely of course she is not doing it with this princess wanna be. Puff! Honestly, this is the all mighty and fearless Savior? From this angle all she sees is a lot a talk and not a lot of content.

"I'm sorry I think you got the town wrong, this is not freaking Storybrooke where you think you rule it all with your idiotic parents. You are in my girlfriend's house you better have a great explanation as to why you are shirtless."

"Excuse me, what did you just say? My idiotic what again?"

"Your idiotic parents, you should go see a doctor, there is something wrong with your ears. Or maybe the apple really never falls far from the tree."

SOMEWHERE IN NEW YORK

Half way to the grocery store Henry broke the silence that reined in the car with a shy voice saying "Would you make your lasagna tonight? I miss it." and Regina could barely contain herself from exploding with joy with his request. She caught herself reminiscing about months into his fights with her, even before he ran away to Boston to find Miss Swan. Back then and he was already barely eating her food with a good mouth, and after Emma was in the picture every moment spent in the table next to her one would think he was being tortured, by the look on his face being cut open with a kitchen knife would be more pleasant. So yes, him asking her to cook for him, much like the fact that he actually would like to spend time with her is mind shattering with happiness.

"I would love it, in fact I have almost everything back at home so it won't take us long to buy everything we need."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's small, I know but if I didn't post it I'm afraid I never would. I had half of this done for a very long time and had the whole thing im my head but life would not let me finish it, just like it's not letting me do it now.
> 
> Im going to post another chapter this week or the next even if I have to glue my ass in the chair lol. Hope it didn't suck too bad, please let me know what are your thoughts about it.


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! Hope you guys like it :D
> 
> Forgive me any mistakes.
> 
> Don't own OUAT

 

**_PREVIOUSLY_ **

_"I'm Emma Swan, and it's you who better tone it down before I'll show you who I am." Today really is a bitch. Now she gets it all. How dumb was she to think that Regina would be cheating on her, of course she is not, most definitely of course she is not doing it with this princess wanna be. Puff! Honestly, this is the all mighty and fearless Savior? From this angle all she sees is a lot a talk and not a lot of content._

_"I'm sorry I think you got the town wrong, this is not freaking Storybrooke where you think you rule it all with your idiotic parents. You are in my girlfriend's house you better have a great explanation as to why you are shirtless."_

_"Excuse me, what did you just say? My idiotic what again?"_

_"Your idiotic parents, you should go see a doctor, there is something wrong with your ears. Or maybe the apple really never falls far from the tree."_

"What?"

This woman is an obnoxious little piece of shit! God, she imagined it by the stories Regina told her but damn, the real thing is even worse. How come the brat tossed her queen away over this person is beyond her. "You heard me, I'm not about to repeat myself. Now start explaining, why are you like this? Is this some kind of desperate attempt to get Regina's attention? Some plot to fuck up her life a little bit more than you already did? Because if it's dear, let me tell you something, it's not going to work out. Back then she may have been alone and thrown to the wolfs, but this time she has me and Josh and we will NOT let any one of you hurt her EVER again."

After the outburst Emma realized she needed to back off, she was the wrong one here after all. Hell, come to think of it if she ever got in into her girlfriend's house and found another woman walking around the living room shirtless, shit would gone down much worse. Also apparently Regina had come clean about everything to the girl, her past, magic, Henry and herself and it's not like she could blame the girl for going full on protection mode. They all had truly messed up when it came to the queen. So putting both hands in front of her body in a stop motion she decided she would be the one to wave the white flag.

"Look I'm sorry okay. I know how this must look to you, and I get that we handled the things with Regina wrong. But I'm not here to cause any more damage than I already have, in fact I'm here hopping we could fix things. The truth is that the kid needs her and I can't pretend anymore that he doesn't, fate or whatever force there is brought us here for some reason, and I'm not letting Henry down again. This time I'm going to get it right." Emma's rambling was interrupted by the sound of a door opening and two very astounded brunettes crossing the threshold of the house and looking at her as if she had grown another head. The queen was the first one of the four to regain her composure, probably thinking what Becca must have thought of the situation and trying to fix it as quick as possible.

"Miss Swan, care to enlighten me as to why you are half naked in my house?" Rebecca's smooth movements towards her and the sweet little kiss on her cheek brings her joy and calmness, but most importantly relief. If her hotheaded girl is giving her a hello that means she won't be grounded, for too long that is. HOPEFULLY. "Now babe, isn't that just the question of the year?" Yeah, maybe she celebrated thing a bit too early. Damn!

One quick glance at Henry put Emma even more on the edge. The kid was stiff as a pole and muttering please under his breath and completely afraid the Savior had fucked it all again for him and his birthmother. The award for parent of the year was never hers in the first place anyway she muses. "Look, I may or may have not spilled whiskey on the floor and used my shirt to clean it."

"Could you not make a mess in one single place? How hard can it be to not touch anything? Gosh!" The whining came from none other than a angry looking Henry. " Whoa, thanks a lot kid."

"You do this every time Emma, you always mess things up for me. I gave up my real mom to be with you and you can't even treat me seriously and now you let her girlfriend find you like this? Mom probably will kick us out because of it and I'll never be able to see her ever again!" As he was speaking his voice was getting louder and his face was getting redder by the second and once his rant was over he directed his gaze to the baffled queen. "I'll go get my stuff."

"Henry!" Twins shouts coming from both of his mothers stopped him. Emma saw Regina give her a signal, as if saying "I got this" and she backed off trusting the queen to handle the situation once more.

The brunette woman who just today was promoted back to her role as mother led her son to the guest bedroom, that hopefully one day she would be able to call it his, to have the discussion they so desperately needed. Closing the door and sitting in the bed next to her boy she hugged him as tight as she could and after a minute she let go and grabbed his hands in hers and asked him to look in her eyes.

"I'm going to start this conversation saying that no matter what Miss Swan or anyone else does or doesn't do, or what they says or not. None of that matters to me, the only one that matters is you, and you Henry are the only one capable of making me back off from your life. You need to understand that as long as you want me truly you will always have me. Ok?"

The boy had no words so he only nods. Up until this moment he still had his silly doubts about her but they are far gone now. He knew she loved him once but he honestly thought that he had destroyed it all by being so mean to her. It amazes him the depth of her feelings and he sees it clearly now that this kind of love he will probably never see again.

"That being said you also need to know that what you did to me back in Storybrooke, it… well it hurt like nothing had ever hurt me before and I won't deny it." She tightens her hold in his trembling hands then, because she knows this would be difficult to listen and the last thing she wanted was for him to get the wrong impression out of this talk and walk away from her life once more. "You were the only one that could break me, and for a long while you succeeded at it. I was so lost without you Henry and seeing you and not being able to reach you was way worse than hell to me, you were my all and suddenly I had nothing once again. It was wrong of me to put so much pressure on you and I am aware of it, it's just that I thought you were my only hope left for love and to see myself once again with nothing and no one to hold on to and ask for some kind of care in return it was just… let's just say it was not a pleasant time for me. I left when you asked me to, every mile away from that town was a new knife being plugged to my chest but I did it anyway because I didn't think I deserved to be happy, back then I couldn't believe that I was worthy of your love. But I was wrong and I know that now."

"I'm so sorry…" Her little boy that had grown so much in her absence was crying and the sight of it broke the queen's heart but it had to be done, they would never be able to fix their bond if things as important as this were left unspoken.

"I made so many mistakes in my life, I pushed you and everyone else that tried to get too close to me way too far and because of it I fell deep and hard into a very bad place. Only now I understand that my choice of actions were made because I didn't know any better, I never had a solid ground to walk on or even someone sane enough to take as my reference of what to do, of what was right. When you decided to leave me and our home to be with them I accepted it, I did it even thought it was not what I wanted. Perhaps it was because I was too used to not having my way, not being able to make my own decisions about my life, but…"

The confused son interrupted her and asked something she wasn't sure she was really ready to reveal. "What do you mean, you never made your decisions?"

Now or never she thought, and with a deep breath she told all she could. "You see Henry my mother she… she was a bad person, a horrible one in fact and just like me she also did some pretty bad things, the difference between she and I is that she did them towards me as well. No matter how hurt you were with me for having lied to you, you shouldn't have accused me of being a threat to you and your words made me question myself over and over again wondering if I ever harmed you like she did me. Of all the things that I have been put trough, that was by far the worse one. Living with doubt, wondering if it was real or not, being compared to her one more time and specially in a way that I worked so hard not be it was too much for me. I was there for you, every time you needed me I was there and you made me question it all."

"I didn't know mom, I'm so sorry. I didn't even want to say it and I know it does nothing to help you now but I guess I was just too upset with how I had screwed up life that I took out on you and I am truly sorry for it." His despair was too much and she hugged him once more, waiting for him to calm down some more so she could continue her tale. When he had a better control he gently pushed her back and waited for her to keep on going because he also know he need to hear all she had to say. It was the very least he could do after all he had done in the past.

"I need you to understand that you don't know what is like to live with a monster harming you with it's every breath, you never had to be afraid to go to sleep, or if something bad were to happen to you that you wouldn't have someone there to help you. Mainly because your worse fear is the one who should love and support you unconditionally. I'm seeing a doctor now like I told you earlier, he helps me see the truth and to clear my head and it's with his help that I'm slowly coming to terms with all that has happened in my life."

"I'm sorry." Was all he could say through his silent tears, little did he know that those words were more than sufficient to soothe Regina's heart.

"I know now that you are, and I forgive you, not because I should but because I honestly do. But if we are going to do this Henry I need you to be honest with me just like I promise I will be with you, but most of all I need you to not leave me again because I won't make it another time. So if there is even a small voice in your head telling you to leave this house I need to know now, that's all I ask of you."

"I won't leave you again, I promise mom."

* * *

So do you guys think there was something left unsaid between them? What do you think is going to happen now? Let me know your thoughts and feel free to come to me and talk about anything.

Thank you for all the support you give me.


	42. Chapter 42

The night went on, dinner was served and by the time the dishes were clean it was like no fight had ever happened. Henry was the first one to go to bed, the day's event taking a bigger toll on the boy. The news of his father being alive, finding out about his bond by blood with none other than the devil himself (also known as Rumpelstiltskin), finding and reconnecting with his mother, any of those things would drive anyone one step to the edge, specially an eleven year old boy. As the queen and Rebecca went to watch some TV in the living room, the Savior made her way to the bathroom to take a much needed shower hoping it would clear her mind, at least the enough amount to figure it out what her next step should be. With fresh clothes and set on fixing the relationship she shouldn't have pushed in the wrong direction Emma stepped in front of the love birds and started what she knew was going to be a difficult conversation.

"Can we talk for a moment?" After hearing those words and seeing the determined face of the other blonde, Becca stud up to give them privacy but just as she was about to leave a hand on her arm pushing her back stopped her. Glancing from soft warm fingers to big chocolate eyes she understood the silent request and her heart filled with even more love and affection towards the beautiful brunette. It amazes her still how come she is able to fall even further in love with said woman.

"I wanted to apologize for well... everything to be honest, ever since I stepped foot in that town I wronged you and for that I'm sorry. I gave Henry up and I signed the papers saying that I didn't want any contact with him because I was afraid that if I did I wouldn't be able to let him go once more. When I took him to Storybrooke after he went to Boston looking for me you ran out of the house straight to him, right then when you hugged him I knew he had it good because I could see the love pouring out of you and surrounding him and I never had that. I was shipped to another world in a fucking tree Regina so I grew up with nothing, do you have any idea of what that is like?"

"No, I don't and I'm sorry for it. It was in a way my fault that it happened…"

"You have nothing to be sorry for, they could have fought for me, figured out another way but they were selfish and only thought about themself, but that is not what this is about. I held onto him because for once in my life I felt needed, loved, for once in my life I was more than the little helpless orphan and it felt great so I let it continue. Snow, the thing she said to you the other day couldn't have been more far from the truth even if she tried. The kid missed you every day, he tried to hide it but he wasn't very effective at it. I could see the guilty eating him away bit by bit and there was nothing I could do but try and be a better person for him, a better mother to him, just better. Ever since that morning in your house I've been thinking about it all instead of running away from it like I have been doing before. I'm sure you know it more than anyone else, but the two of them are everything but charming and Henry and I had to learn it the hard way. So I packed our bags and we moved out of the loft to some place I could call mine, but even if it feels good there it would never be his home because you are not in it and I long gave up forcing myself to believe it otherwise. I need him in my life, but he needs you too and we can make it work this time around."

The lovers were both stunned and just stared at the Savior clearly not expecting the woman to say anything like this.

"I will give you his custody back, if you promise me to let me see him anytime I want. I won't fuck up your schedule or your rules this time. I'll respect them all I swear. I just need you to not keep him from me. I know I'm asking more than what I gave you but I can't. I just can't lose him again."

"Emma..."

"He belongs with you Regina. At the end of the day it's you he wants to chase his bad dreams away, not me. I don't to be like my parents, I want to be better and for that I need to set this straight. I'm gonna head out for a bit, so just think about it okay?"

"Wait Emma, look you were wrong but so was I. We both made mistakes and I can't move forward with my life expecting people to let go of the things I did if I'm not willing to do the same. We had our reasons, none of them were pure and well thought but at the time we did what our minds told us to do. I'm not saying everything is well but I won't give up on Henry. I won't leave but you don't have to either, but you need to understand that I'm his mother. I was there for him all the way and not you, that is a kind of bond you can't compete with and you shouldn't blame yourself for not having it. We made the choices that lead us here so now it's time for us to face them head on, together."

"You won't take him from me? Not even after I did it to you?" The queen curt nod was enough of response for the woman who needing some time alone asked if they could we end this conversation tomorrow with a small almost uncertain voice. Regina looked at Rebecca once and after the hand intertwined in her gave it a comforting squeeze she said "Yes."

* * *

"You just put a magic like liquid in something of his and that's it you know where he is? Do you sense it or what?" They are in bed now, the queen resting her head in her favorite spot in all the realms, listening to her girl's heart beating, taking great pleasure in the arms surrounding her and keeping her safe from the world outside those four walls. Who would have thought that all it takes to have the queen melting is a kiss on the nose, or a tight hug followed by a caress in the nape, or just laying like this feeling love consuming her soul.

"Something like that dear, it shows me the rote I have to take to get to the place where he is." The queen responded mindless, too caught up in the patters her hand were drawing in Rebecca's skin.

"My girlfriend is her own GPS, that's so cool and quite comforting to be honest. Lets me know that if I ever go missing you'll be able to track me and my raptor down, fight for my honor and be my 'Queen in a fancy Prada suit'."

Hearing this Regina stopped and looked her dead in the eyes, her voice growing cold and a bit tense. "Trust me when I say this dear. No one, I mean _no one_ would be crazy enough to even try to take you from me or harm you in any form." What she didn't say out loud but knew to be truth in her heart is that she would kill anyone dumb enough to try it and take great pleasure out of it. She may have giving up the old days where blood somehow gave her a comforting feeling, but that does not mean she would let someone hurt the ones she loves and get away with it harmless.

Rebecca sensing the need to change the subject of the talk asked if the potion was difficult to be made. "It's not hard to be done at all, any magician with a bit of training and focus could do it. Hell, I believe even you could do it if you were to take extra caution to the right amount of ingredients and the order to mix them so you wouldn't get it blown to your face, though it would be quite hilarious to watch."

"Haha you are a very funny woman Miss Mills. Though I'm afraid I'm gonna have to pass the opportunity of being your apprentice, wouldn't want to have your magical stuff exploding in my pretty face for your entertainment."

"I would never do anything to damage your pretty face dear. It's after all the reason why I'm with you." Regina said rising her head and looking right in the woman's eyes with mirth shining on hers. As expected she got shoved to the side of the bed and off her lover's body almost falling face down on the hard cold floor of her bedroom.

"What? You thought it was because of your personality?" After three hard kicks to the her side she begged for forgiveness. Her girlfriend was now pouting with her arms crossed making impossible for the queen not to laugh at how cute and adorable she looked. Moving to kiss those lips and chuckling when said task was denied of her she caressed the face of the woman she loved so fiercely and mouthed an 'I love you' pouring all of her feelings in the moment that was broken by her next line.

"I'm only kidding you know that. It's also because of your ass." Which she got another shove for it. "So aggressive, let me finish first. It's because of your pretty face, our unbelievable hot ass, and the way you say good morning to me when I wake up, the way you make me feel loved and cared for, and every little detail about you. Though it would be nice to teach you a few things, you'd love it."

"Like I would ever believe you, I'm not stupid and I know all about your perverse little plan, you lure the blond writer into a room telling her it's for the benefice of learning, next thing the poor girl knows she is being chased by some magic monster."

"Now that you mentioned it would be quite funny indeed, if I were you I would watch out in the dark." The silent settled for a while and when the brunette was almost sleeping she head Rebecca's sweet voice. "Babe, are you okay?"

"I don't know it yet Becca, I truly don't. I'm hoping to wake up tomorrow and having everything figured out but so far the only thing that I'm sure is that I love you and that I wouldn't want to be any place else right now. I know that no matter what this is where I belong, here in your arms. You are my home." The arms surrounding her tighten her hold on her and her lover's voice the last things she remembers before falling into a much needed sleep.

"I will always be your home Regina, you will always have me."

* * *

Thoughts?


	43. Chapter 43

So... I'm back. It took literally forever and it's probably shit and for that I'm truly sorry.

English is not my language so there will be mistakes, sorry for that too.

Either way I hope you guys enjoy it and please leave me a review and tell me what you think. =D

* * *

Warmth, that is the first thing that comes to her mind when she wakes up. Warmth and love. Who would have thought that the Evil Queen would ever feel this way again after everything that she has done? Definitely not her. Yet here she is, laying in a bed illuminated by the shy and crescent sunlight coming from the window announcing the beginning of a new day. Memories of yesterday swirling in her head and she honestly doesn't know how to really cope with everything.

Last night she was exhausted, a million and one thoughts going through her mind and only Becca's embrace and soothing words had been able to calm her down enough so she could fall into a dreamless sleep. Never once doubting the fact that without her she would never had been able to rest.

But now that she is wide awake she can't quite shake the doubt that has been creeping inside her heart. What if he doesn't mean it? What if he wakes up today lees angry at the Savior and decides he wants nothing to do with her? What if he stays for a bit only to leave her again like he did before? Can she take it? Could she survive it again? Does she want to wait around and see the outcome?

_Yes._

Of course she does, that boy will forever be her son. She took him as a part of her life since the first time she held him in her arms and that kind of love doesn't just go away after a year. Yes, he hurt her. Quite a lot in fact. His words left a mark on her like no one else had ever been able to do, he broke her in a way she honestly never thought possible.

You see, from the moment they placed that little baby on her arms she knew that everything had changed. It was like the universe had altered its course and had finally found the balance to keep itself upright. A blink was all it took and suddenly all of her beliefs about the human capacity for love simply changed. Her whole life she witnessed just how much that feeling was not for everybody, that not everyone got a happy ending and her name had never been on the good side of that list. By the time she was forced to become an adult she was certain that for her true love could never be more than a fantasy. A dream she should give up on if she wanted to keep going.

She refused to believe in it, to hope for it, but with one look the walls she had build for so long came crumbling down. The Sweet Regina had been too long gone, The Evil Queen was never dear to her, Mayor Mills she supposes was alright but Henry's mother? That was the best fucking title she could ever have.

Since the beginning her bond with that little brown eyed boy had been more than magical. Sleeping with him cradled in her arms, seeing the light reflecting in his eyes, the feeling of his soft skin and the way his little fingers would grip on her hand, his laughter and the way it would echo in her mind making her dizzy with joy.

He was everything. He  _is_ everything. And because of that he is the only one that can bring her the kind of pain that she can't bear. Her mother's punishment, Leopold's disgusting touch and not even Rumple's lessons had made her this uneasy about the situation. Physical pain she could take it, heavens know just how much of it she had to endure during her life. But being away from her boy or not having his love is the one thing the queen had always been truly terrified of.

In a way, everything that happened after the curse broke was a good thing. Sure, she could've gone without all those self destructive acts, the child she needed more than air turning his back on her and being left alone once more.

But look at her now.

Really look at it.

She has a home, people that cares for her - loves her even - and would protect her, a job she truly loves to do and she is even coming to terms and learning how to cope with the things that were done to her and the pain she inflicted on others.

So the real question she is asking herself is: now what?

She should probably start a bath, a very long one, to soothe her muscles and prepare her for the day. Perhaps call Josh after it and let him know what happened. He's good at that, listening to her, paying attention to every little detail and making her feel safe and cared for. Somehow, ever since they met he always knew the right things to say, or sometimes, the right thing not to say, without her even voicing it. It's nice having him, having someone that truly cares about her safety and she would never let go of that.

She gives a little kiss to her girlfriend's forehead and slowly tries to remove herself from the bear hold she is currently locked in having decided that two things on her to do list is better than nothing.

* * *

When he woke up that morning he didn't quite know what was different but he knew something big was going on and he couldn't figure it out what. Opening his eyes and taking one look around made everything come clean in his head. The trip to New York, Emma's lie, finding out his father was alive and was also Mr. Gold's long lost son, and at last, Regina. His real mother.

How could he have been so stupid? It's almost funny really, the queen was known for taking out hearts but he had been the cruel one, heartless even. She gave him all and he betrayed her. He hurt her and made her feel like she wasn't good enough for him and that is just the understatement of the millennium. He is the one that doesn't deserves it, doesn't deserve her and yet here he is. In her house, in a place she clearly loves enough to be calling a home, having a great life while he was stuck with the Uncharming Clan.

If you ask him, he'll say he definitely deserves that.

But is a new day and if there is something Regina thought him is to never give up. And even though he carries a lot of idiotic genes he's not that stupid to throw this opportunity away. No, he's gonna try to mend all the awful things he has done to the woman that loved him every second of his life. And hopefully he will succeed.

Operation Boomerang is definitely back on businesses.

Walking slowly in the apartment he goes where he knows she'll be, in the kitchen. One of the things he always took for granted was how everyday when he got up she would be fixing something for his breakfast. She wouldn't always indulge in his sweet tooth but he definitely got the better end of most deals. After all getting a scoop of ice cream or a home baked cookie at least three times a week if he ate his vegetables is not a bad thing, considering he actually liked most of the healthy things she would cook.

The tears in his eyes after seeing her standing in front of the stove should probably not surprise him. Not really, not after all those nights he cried himself to sleep begging to have her once again, to see her face looking down at him with so much love in the morning one more time. But they still come as a shock.

The g _ood morning Henry_  he hears after standing frozen in the kitchen door for almost a minute doesn't do much help either. After a deep breath he moves to sit by the table and it's only then that he looks at her, that he really takes her in. Sure they have been apart for some time but she is his mother and he knows her. Knows that even though she moving around like nothing is amiss, like everything is just fine, she is uncomfortable. Her shoulders are too tense, the movements in her body are too constricted, too forced, too perfectly trained to appear calm. And the reason is him.

But he is not giving up, not this easily, not  _again._

No, this time he's gonna fight for her, and fight for the right to call her his mother again.

* * *

The clock is just turning 7 when she hears the sound of sock covered feet hitting the floor and it brings her to what feels like a lifetime ago. Back when that sound was a common occurrence in her daily routine. At first is just a happy memory with sleepy big, bright and innocent eyes, heart felt hugs and _I love you mommy_ s. The good things though, they always fade away leaving room to misery and pain, and suddenly she is thinking of silence filled breakfasts, only a head shake for every question and cold looks. No, she should definitely not be thinking about that right now.

It's Josh early words on her mind that makes her feel a little bit better and brings a small but honest smile to her face. "Look, the kid fucked up big time, he really was a little shit. But you are his mother and you do love him. I can't say if he'll be stupid enough to walk away from you again. What I can and will say is that I'm here. I got you this time, and so does Becca. No matter what happens Regina, you are not alone." It's good feeling loved after all.

When he finally reaches the kitchen she is a little less nervous, she doesn't know what she imagined it was gonna be like but every other second he stays frozen there looking at her back is not really helping calm her nerves. The words that leaves her mouth are surprisingly strong and she is quite proud of herself for that. No good it would make to show him how much this tension is eating her away.

He takes a sit after that, murmuring a quiet _Morning_  back to her and waits for the food to be ready. It almost feels like before, before the confusion, the hatred, the betrayal and it hurts as if someone had pushed their hand inside her chest and was crushing her heart to dust.

She's almost done with the pancakes and is almost believing herself when she repeats once more that they are for Rebecca, and not because she knows how much Henry loves them.

"Did you sleep well?" she asks while pushing the tray in front of the boy and she is sure that the smile she gets in return could illuminate the planet. "I did." is all she gets in return while the boy happily fills his plates and devours everything in it. She could tell him to slow down and that the food is not going to run away from him.

She could, but she won't.

Not when seeing this brings her so much joy, not when her little - regardless of the fact he will soon be taller than her - prince is actually pleased to be where he is. Eating her food and truly appreciating it like he used to do it before.

It's not much and she knows it. They still have a lot of matters to discuss, a lot of catching up to do and remembering the sleeping Savior in the other guest room, some urgent boundaries to settle. But for now, this sight right here is enough to soothe her worries and leave space in her heart for a little bit of hope.

An Evil Queen that hopes for a better future. A former villain that believes it may just happen. A mother that smiles deep and large.


End file.
